Carry that weight
by i1976
Summary: Something from Enos' past descends on his life with dramatic effects, and Dukes are going to be his defensive barrier, his shelter: Daisy is going to learn a new side of him, whereas Bo, Luke and uncle Jesse are going to be involved in Enos/Daisy new relationship, dealing with it and its consequences; time for them to show the real meaning of friendship, family and love. COMPLETE.
1. Prologue

"_I was always hungry for love. Just once, I wanted to know what it was like to get my fill of it - to be fed so much love I couldn't take any more. Just once" _

_ Haruki Murakami_

* * *

**PROLOGUE**

"Boss, guess who's at Enos'?", Rosco giggled entering Boss' room at the Courthouse.

Boss, his cigar in his mouth, looked up at Rosco, stopping reading the documents in his hands; "His mummy?", he snorted, annoyed by Rosco's riddle: Enos lived at the Boarding House and nobody usually stayed with him nor came to visit him, except sometimes his mother, even if "visiting" wasn't the right word to describe that woman's descending on his son's life.

Rosco stiffened, surprised by Boss' guessing right, "Uh, Boss, but how did you…?"

Boss looked down at the documents in front of him, "I simply saw Rose Strate arriving here this morning with the bus from Atlanta…, after… when did she come here the last time? Oh, yeah, 5 years ago".

As Boss kept on reading his papers, totally indifferent of Rose Strate's coming and leaving, Rosco left.

* * *

Enos looked at his mother moving into his little apartment, chatting 'bout her life, and Enos barely listened to her words. When did she come last time? Five years before, then she simply left, never calling him, as usual. She came when she wanted to, and then she left, the same thing since he was five years old.

His arms folded and his back leaning against the door, he looked at that woman in his room. It was difficult for him thinking of her as his "mother"; since she left Hazzard when he was 5 years old, he lived with his father (a honest and good man, but not much loving towards his only child), and he didn't see her anymore 'till he was 15 years old, when he lived at his aunt Minnie's house, his father bein' dead five years before. Ten years without seeing her, only few postcards remembering him he had a "mother".

"What's 'bout Mark?"

Rose Strate simply ignored his son's question and Enos thought that Mark left her, as her previous and various flings (or, more probably, SHE left him, SHE was the one always leaving), and he didn't ask her anything more 'bout that man. Besides, he didn't know Mark, but he remembered her talking 'bout him last time she came to Hazzard.

"Why there's no beer into your fridge, darling?"

Darling, he hated when she called him like that.

"I don't like beer. I don't like alcohol at all", he paused, trying to calm him down, "mom". She didn't know anything of him. Nothing at all.

She burst out laughing, "The son of a moonshiner… what a funny thing. Why don't you like alcohol?"

Enos took a deep breath, and he didn't answer her.

"Why did you leave the Institute?", he asked her the obvious question.

And he got the obvious answer: "I don't need to stay there. I'm fine. And I need a beer".

Enos swallowed against the lump in his throat.

* * *

"Is Rose Strate back?"

Daisy looked in shock at Bo and Luke just arrived at the farm with the news from the town. Again, like five years ago, and like various times along the last 28 years (since Enos was 5 years old), Rose Strate was in town.

Uncle Jesse had a deep sigh, in his eyes a shadow of worrisome as he sank into the couch, looking outside the window: insane Rose Strate was back.

* * *

_SOMETHING ABOUT "CARRY THAT WEIGHT": it's the most complex, sad and psychological story I've ever written. I've decided to write a story of "psychological analysis", "relationship between characters" (all the characters, not only Enos and Daisy, even if the story is obviously more focused on them), and of "growth" (exploring Enos' past, the reason why he is the way he is, sense of family and friendship, sense of identity, and... so on, you're going to understand what I'm talking about), even if a bit complicated and, to some extent, maybe boring. An experiment, a difficult and maybe awkward experiment, writing something so totally new for me, so I'm sorry if I've disappointed my oldest readers with something so different from my past stories (I know a lot of people prefer and wait for "Snow"-style stories, from me, LOL). _

_Ok, now, if you want to, just stop and review this story: opinions may help me to focus more on some things or to improve some other ones, especially 'bout characters' relationships (ALL the characters, I admit I'm not so good and not much used to write of Bo, Luke and uncle Jesse, and they're going to take part of what's going to happen) and about psychological reactions (it's a rough and difficult topic to write of... but I can't explain HERE why, it'd be a spoiler... anyway, don't worry, NO ABUSE in it). So, any hint is welcome; or, if you want to, just stop and say "I like it", or, uh, OK, just read it, I'll be content anyway. _


	2. Memories?

_"Sometimes people put up walls, not to keep others out, but to see who cares enough to break them down"_

_Banana Yoshimoto_

* * *

**MEMORIES?**

_The man kissed her neck and the woman moaned as she raised her head, exposing all her neck to the man's kisses. His hands started to unbutton her white shirt and then he buried his face in her chest as the woman caressed his nape, her eyes closed, her eyelids trembling in ecstasy. _

_The room was in the darkness except that for the moonlight entering the window._

* * *

Enos suddenly woke up, his eyes open wide in the morning's light; he slowly sat up on the couch and he gently massaged his nape, a dull pain radiating from if after a night spent on the small couch.

The couch? He needed few seconds to realize why he had to sleep on the couch instead of in his bed, and the reason of his nape's ache was also the reason of that nightmare. He rubbed his face trying to erase those images: a man kissing (more than kissing) a woman shouldn't be a nightmare, but that woman was his mother, and that man WASN'T his father. He remembered he saw that scene when he was a small child, before her mother left him and his father, but… how could he remember something so clearly if he was only a small child? It's said that people can't remember anything before they are 3-4 years old, but he remembered her mother and that man "doin' things" so vividly he sometimes wondered if it was really a memory or a strange joke of his mind. And that memory/joke was stuck into his mind since he was a child, surfacing in his nightmares and bringing other nightmares and pesky thoughts.

"Hey, darling, you're finally awake. Come on, it's a beautiful morning. And I suppose you have to go to work"

His mother's voice woke him from his thoughts.

"Oh please, mom! That bathrobe is too large for you", he pushed gently away her hand caressing his cheek and he looked away from her beautiful (despite her age, nearly 55 years) body only partially covered by his too much large bathrobe, so large it let too much exposed. Blushing furiously he headed to the bathroom, "Yeah, I have to go to work".

Finally under the shower's jet, he managed to relax, washing away that nightmare, but new pesky thoughts faced to his mind: How long would she stay, this time? For how long would she stay gone after leaving again? Or could he convince her to go back to the Institute? How long would she be so kind to him? The warm water turned colder and colder on his skin the more he thought 'bout it.

He slowly dressed and he came out the bathroom, ready to go to work. He had no appetite at all for breakfast: he wasn't used to having a real breakfast, he usually had a cup of coffee, with few exceptions, and that day he didn't even feel the need of a cup of coffee, he felt only the need to go out the little apartment (too little for two persons… or bein' correct… too little for him and his mother, whereas he could tolerate anyone else to ease his loneliness).

"See, darling, yesterday, when I arrived in Hazzard, I heard some rumors 'bout you"

His hand on the door's handle, ready to run away, he froze 'cause her tone. How long would she have been kind to him? The question he was wondering 'bout in the bathroom had already an answer. He turned slowly to her, who was sitting at the table, a cup of coffee in her hands, still wrapped in his bathrobe. Why didn't she get dressed, for God's sake?

She was looking at him silently, her deep hazel eyes on him, his same eyes, whereas her hair was raven; on the table, her cigarettes' pack.

"I heard you nearly married Daisy Duke last month"

Oh no. He DIDN'T want to talk to his mother 'bout THAT.

"But wedding was called off because of your hives. Hives because too much happiness? I don't remember anything 'bout it"

"_You don't know… and you don't remember anything 'bout me", _he managed to stay calm and he smiled at her, "I gotta go, now. I'm late for work, we'll talk 'bout it this evening, OK?"

"There's nothing more to say 'bout it. Lulu Hogg already told me everything 'bout it: Daisy Duke was marrying you for pity, to protect you from some false charges. Or, at least, it's what people here think. Dukes are too much … above… you"

Enos's fingers turned pale as he grabbed the door's handle. Nobody knew what's between him and Daisy, and for sure not his mother. Pity wasn't the reason why Daisy decided to marry him, and, during the last month, remembering that day, every moment of that day (every look of her, her tone, her smile), and then dating her somehow officially (after that day they were becoming closer and closer) he was really starting to believe she loved him, even if she hadn't said it to him, yet. Or was it only his illusion? Did he see what he wanted to see, whereas people saw the truth, not bein' emotionally involved in it?

"I've said I gotta go, bye".

He quickly went out the apartment, his mother's eyes on his back 'till he closed the door behind him.

* * *

Driving her jeep to the town for some shopping, Daisy couldn't help but thinking of Rose Strate. Every time that woman came to town, Enos became more and more silent and clumsy, losing his though small self-confidence: that woman was like venom for him. Less she stayed, better was for Enos.

Parking the car in the square, she saw Enos coming out the Courthouse, perfectly knowing on his face the first signs of Rose Strate's presence. Having a deep breath, she smiled and she walked to him.

"Hey, Enos!"

On the opposite site of the street, he turned to her slowly, as he was waking up from some deep thoughts, then he stood there, without moving, as he was trying to focus her. Daisy crossed the street and she reached him.

"You're at work, as usual, aren't you, sugar?". Obvious question, he was always at work; besides, he wore his uniform, so there was no doubt he was on duty, but she had to cheer him up, in some way, maybe starting with an useless but harmless talk.

He smiled, "Yeah, always on duty. And you?".

Daisy shrugged, smiling, "Shopping. I've a long list of things we need at the farm, but unfortunately no much money, but I'm goin' to do my best. Why don't you come at the farm for dinner, this evening… or tomorrow… or… you're always welcome at the farm, you know, Enos". A gentle attempt to move him away from his mother: less he stayed with her, better was for him.

"Thanks Dais. One of these evening, yeah, I'm goin' to have dinner at the farm for sure… if I don't bother uncle Jesse".

Bother uncle Jesse? Daisy already felt his self-confidence goin' down and down. How could he ask if he bothered uncle Jesse? Enos was a close friend of Dukes since he was a child, and more than a close friend for her.

"Uncle Jesse'd be glad to have you for dinner, sugar, and you should know it", she tried to control her tone in order to not let him understand she was worrying. She gently touched his shoulder but he stiffened. Why? Only the day before they had a walk, hand in hand, talking of everything and laughing a lot, perfectly at ease with each other. Why? The answer was obvious: Rose Strate.

A shadow of worrisome and disappointment crossed Daisy's eyes, and Enos caught it.

"You know 'bout my mother, don't you?"

Daisy started at his direct question: no more useless and harmless talk.

"I know, Enos. How's your mother?", she looked at the ground, preferring not to look into his eyes, and she knew Enos too preferred she didn't look at him.

"She's like usual".

In his voice Daisy couldn't recognize any emotion: nor pain, rage, anxiety, sadness. Nothing. A way to tell her: "I know you know 'bout my mother, but I DON'T want to talk 'bout it"

She grabbed his hand, and he let her squeeze it, "Enos, if you want to… talk… I'm here, and uncle Jesse and the boys too".

"Thanks, Dais. But I'm goin' to be fine, don't worry".

When she looked up at him he was smiling, a forced smile, then he went away.

Looking at him walking away, Daisy thought that last time Rose Strate came to Hazzard Enos ended in Hospital because of his appendix burst. She perfectly knew ('cause Doc Appleby, and Hospital's Doc too, explained it to her) that stress can't be the cause of appendicitis, so Rose Strate wasn't obviously the cause of Enos' appendicitis, but if Enos hadn't confused his bellyache with a simply stomachache due to stress, he'd have asked for Doc Appleby's help before his appendicitis turned into peritonitis; so, if Rose wasn't the cause of Enos' appendicitis, she was for sure the cause of his appendicitis turning into peritonitis. Or, at least, it was what Daisy thought, even if, she had to admit to herself, she was too much strict 'bout Rose Strate; in effect, Daisy was strict towards anyone could hurt Enos, she was overprotective on him.

Looking at him walking away, Daisy told herself she'd have protected HER Enos, no matter what; and that _"MY Enos",_ resounding in her mind, made her blush.


	3. Reaching you

"_There is nothing heavier than compassion. Not even one's own pain weighs so heavy as the pain one feels with someone, for someone, a pain intensified by the imagination and prolonged by a hundred echoes"_

_Milan Kundera_

* * *

**REACHING YOU**

Dew sparked in the morning's sunlight, but Enos didn't see it, nor he heard a dog woofing somewhere or the smell of the ground as he stopped his patrol car in front of his aunt Minnie's and uncle Opie's farm, as the first day of the month, every month since he came back to Hazzard from the Police Academy: he had to repay them for all the time and patience (and money) they used when he lived there after his father death, he had to repay them for taking care of him after Thomas Strate' death. He walked to the fence, his uncle Opie already working hard in his patch of land, so occupied he didn't notice his nephew 'till he called him.

"Good morning uncle Opie"

The man looked at the deputy, his eyes half closed because of the sunlight, but not so closed not to notice the envelope in Enos' hands: it meant money.

Opie Strate leaned his scythe against a near tree, wiping away the sweat on his forehead with his handkerchief, and in that exact moment Minnie Strate came out the farm, a glass of lemonade in her hand.

"Here's the money. And with this one, there are only 2 months left to repay totally my debt with you". He lived in that farm 7 years (since he was 10 years old 'till he went to Police Academy, the only way he found to become independent, with an honest work), and he had to pay his "family" (could he use the word "family"?) an amount of money he'd needed 16 years to get. But his debt seemed fortunately finally ended, 'cause no much money remained to him between his monthly rent at the Boarding House and his monthly debt to his family, and, besides, along his life he'd needed money to solve other problems, and he felt he'd have needed again some money in the near future.

"Yeah, only two months left", Opie Strate took the envelope from Enos' hands controlling the money inside, as he didn't trust his nephew, and Enos clenched his fists, an imperceptible and brief gesture, a gesture only few people could catch (people who knew him very well, and there were really few people knowing him so well in Hazzard).

"I heard Rose Strate's back, isn't she?"

Enos turned to his aunt Minnie, an innocent smile on his face, "Yeah, did you see her?"

"No, I didn't see her, but everyone knows 'bout her show at the Boar's Nest yesterday evening", in Minnie's voice there was both sarcasm and malice, the same way she called him "the nut's son" when he stayed at the farm.

Another brief and imperceptible clenching of his fists before to shrug indifferently and smile, "Yeah, you know her, aunt Minnie. I gotta go, now. Bye".

He recalled Boar's Nest customers' eyes on him as he dragged his mother, the more gently as possible, outside, in order to bring her home to sober up; he could still feel her alcoholic breath on his neck and her arm around his waist as she leaned against him, bein' barely able to stand on her feet. He avoided all those eyes piercing him like knives, and he especially avoided Daisy's eyes, but, despite his attempt not to look at her, he caught her look: she was looking at him with her eyes wide open in order not let her tears fall, she was looking at him with compassion, and he hated to be pitiful to anyone's eyes, especially Daisy's eyes.

As he walked to his patrol car the sunlight blinded him, the light bein' even more glaring because of tears in his eyes.

* * *

"Hey, Daisy, is something wrong?"

Her look lost in the sun sparkling outside the kitchen's window, Daisy didn't hear uncle Jesse coming close her.

"I hate Rose Strate. I really don't know how that woman could be Enos' mother"

Uncle Jesse sighed, sitting at the table in front of his niece.

"Enos is pretty different from any other of his family, fortunately. His father Thomas was a good man, honest and trustworthy, as Enos, yeah, but too much strict and not much loving. Anyway, better for Enos to live with him than with Minnie and Opie Strate", uncle Jesse looked absently at the cupboard behind Daisy, lost in his own memories, before to stare at Daisy, "Why are you sayin' something so… harsh? You shouldn't use the word HATE, Daisy, never".

"You weren't at the Boar's Nest, yesterday, uncle Jesse, if you had been there, well, you'd have used the same word", Daisy folded her arms, a gesture perfectly showing her rage and disappointment.

"Are you talking 'bout Rose Strate having fun with Edward McFly at the Boar's Nest before Enos dragged her away?"

Daisy flared up hearing Bo's amused tone, and the blonde Duke froze realizing Daisy's way to look at him as he came closer the table.

"There's nothing to laugh of, Bo. That woman was flirting with a married man in a … so blatant way, and she was totally drunk"

"Yeah, and that married man seemed happy of it, since Rose Strate is still a beautiful woman", Luke sat at the table, somehow coming for help of his younger blonde cousin. _"Besides, your way to flirt with men, fortunately not married men, is not much different from Rose Strate's way, or other women's way, even if you're sober"_, he thought, a brief look at the pan on the stove advising him to avoid to state word-of-mouth "the flirting topic"; anyway, Luke had to admit it was really embarrassing to see a woman of that age acting like that, and totally drunk, whereas Daisy, despite her various flings and her way of flirting (not less blatant than Rose Strate's one), in the last years seemed more mature and quiet: thinking 'bout it, Luke didn't remember Daisy flirting with anyone else but Enos in the last two years, her last crush bein' Darcy, exactly two years before.

Daisy stood up with rage, "Bo, Luke, don't you really understand how much it's… humiliating and painful… for Enos!?", then she stormed outside the kitchen, leaving the three men wondering 'bout the obvious, and sad, truth in her words, the silence filling the kitchen and interrupted only by the roar of Daisy's jeep as she drove away.

His eyes. Daisy couldn't forget his eyes; she'd spent all the night tossing and turning in her bed, distressed by those eyes, eyes trying desperately to shun her except for a brief (few seconds) but revealing moment. In his eyes there was shame (of what's happening), pride (his way to tell everyone "everything's OK, don't look at me like that, I don't want your pity") and pain, especially pain: a pain so deep she managed to catch his tears, even if he was holding them back in a stoical way, but, since he was Enos, the man always hiding his deep emotions behind smiles, kindness and indifferent shrugs, those held tears were a scaring proof of his grief.

Without even realizing it, her mind still at the Boar's Nest, Daisy arrived in town and she realized there was no reason to be there (no shopping, no post office, no bank, nothing) but Enos: she had to see him, to talk to him, to hug him… to reach him into his darkness.

Walking to the Hazzard County Building she relaxed: his patrol car was outside the building, so there was no need to look for him. Before she entered, the door opened and he came out, nearly bumping against her.

"Uh, Daisy. Sorry, I didn't see you"

She smiled at him, but her smile faded as she saw his red eyes, "Enos, what…?"

"I gotta go, I'm sorry. I have to go to the Bank. Boss' order"

He walked away and Daisy needed some time to react, her feet stuck on the ground. She managed to move and she followed him, stretching out her arm, her hand grabbing his shirt from behind, "Enos, please"

He stopped and he slowly turned to her, "Daisy, please, I have to…", then he stopped, Daisy hugging him so surprisingly tight he could feel all her body pressed against him, her arms wrapped around his chest, her hands grabbing his shirt between his shoulder blades. Was he so pitiful? Or did she love him so much?

Daisy, her faced buried in his chest, inhaled his scent. There was no need to talk; besides, what to say to him?

"Daisy, please, I…", his hands reached her elbows and he gently pushed her away, freeing him from her hug, "I really appreciate your… kindness… and your worrisome", a way to tell her he knew why she was acting like that without mentioning what happened at the Boar's Nest, "but you'd be more… relaxed. I'm fine. Really"

Daisy looked at the perfect display of his "bein' fine" as he ran away from her, doubling up and vomiting (not more than few gastric juices since his stomach was empty) on the first bush he met, his arms folded on his belly. He cleaned his mouth with the back of his hand as she came closer him, with a look the more distant as possible from a "relaxed" look. And before she could talk, he was trying again to relax her.

"I'm OK, don't worry"

"OK? Enos, sugar, you are NOT OK. Come on", she grabbed his arm and she walked away from the Hazzard County Building, Enos following her despite his insistences.

"I have to go to the Bank, Daisy, please"

He kept on following her, maybe 'cause he knew perfectly where she was heading, and he was somehow admitting he needed it despite his words.

"You need Doc Appleby"

"Daisy, I'm not a doctor, but I don't think appendix can grow again after it's been removed, and my appendix already burst five years ago, if you don't remember 'bout it".

He was joking, he was playing the fool, but Daisy knew it was one of his countless ways to avoid serious talks. She stopped and she turned to him, on his face all his surprise when he realized she was crying.

"Enos Strate, if you only have the notion to play the fool 'cause you think it's enough to calm me down, just forget 'bout it. I KNOW you better than anyone else HERE, so stop pretending everything's OK, 'cause YOU and I both know nothing's OK"

He looked down at the ground, "Daisy", his voice a whisper, his way to say her name with so many meanings in it: love, thanks, embarrass, defeat.


	4. Kiss me again

_"I have scars on my hands from touching certain people"_

_J.D. Salinger_

* * *

**KISS ME AGAIN**

Doc Appleby looked at Daisy's fierce eyes and then, carefully, at Enos, behind her, who's eyes looked down at the ground. What's the matter with them? Was it because of Enos' hives and the way he called off their wedding? Maybe Daisy found out that…, no, it wasn't because of the hives, Doc Appleby remembered the new rumor in town: Rose Strate was back.

He had a deep sigh, "How's your stomach, Enos?"

"Not well. He's just vomited". In Daisy's tone Doc Appleby couldn't understand if it was worry or rage, but the old doctor knew Daisy Duke enough to understand it was her way to show her concern by masking it with rage.

"Daisy, there's no need to tell him everything". In Enos's tone, on the contrary, defeat and embarrassment.

The doctor shook his head, "Come on, Enos, I'm goin' to check what's wrong".

They walked to Doc's little office and they sat down around a big table, Doc Appleby in front of Enos and Daisy, looking at them: Enos kept on looking down at the floor, fidgeting with his hat, whereas Daisy looked at Doc Appleby with her fierce and worried eyes.

Slowly, Doc Appleby took a pen and a white sheet, "So, what's the problem, Enos?"

"Only a stomachache, but I'm fine. It can't be appendicitis, again, anyway"

Doc Appleby shook his head, putting gently down his pen and standing up, "OK, Enos, take off your shirt and lay down on the exam table. And you, Daisy, please, go out".

"But… I'm fine. Really. There's no need…"

"Enos, please", Doc Appleby stopped his complaining; he knew Enos didn't like human touch and especially bein' visited by a doctor, and, unfortunately, Doc Appleby knew why: he couldn't remember all the countless times he had to visit Enos since he was a child because of his clumsiness, and, he suspected, not only because of his clumsiness but because of Opie Strate. Unfortunately Doc Appleby hadn't any proof against Opie Strate, and Enos had always denied Opie's responsibility 'bout his various bruises, scratches and bumps.

Daisy stood up and she walked slowly to the door, her eyes on Enos waiting to take off his shirt 'till she closed the door behind her, nearly bumping against Doc Appleby's wife.

"Daisy Duke, you're really lusting for Enos Strate, aren't you?", the middle aged woman laughed amused, and Daisy turned red.

"Mrs. Appleby! I'm not… lusting, I'm only worried".

Mrs. Appleby smiled sweetly to her, "I know, I know, Daisy, I'm only trying to relax you. Come on, we could drink my special tea in the kitchen while my husband visits and talks to Enos. There's no need to stay here in the corridor", the woman walked past Daisy, heading to the kitchen as Daisy walked behind her, her cheeks still red. "Anyway", Mrs. Appleby turned her head to Daisy, "you looked like you're really lusting for him", then she chuckled, and Daisy felt her cheeks burning. She wasn't offended for Mrs. Appleby's words 'cause she knew that woman enough to understand in her words there was no malice but only sweetness and, moreover, she knew in Mrs. Appleby's joking there was something true.

Sitting at the kitchen table as Mrs. Appleby was preparing her tea, Daisy started to think of the strange last month after their nearly wedding: Enos wasn't any more so shy and clumsy 'round her, and he seemed to have gained much more self confidence than usual ('till Rose Strate's arrive), but not enough self confidence to kiss her the same way he did at the lake the day she asked him to marry her. They were somehow dating officially but they acted more like close friends than like boyfriend and girlfriend. She couldn't deny to herself she missed that kiss, and she couldn't deny to herself she thought of Enos in a new way, a more physical way, and yeah, Mrs. Appleby was right, it was… lust.

* * *

Enos silently buttoned his shirt sitting at the office's table as Doc Appleby wrote something on a white sheet of paper.

"An anti-acid, it's what you need, Enos. At least, it's what your stomach needs", Doc Appleby looked from the sheet up to Enos, his eyes lingering on him before to look down again, "How's your mother?"

Enos kept his eyes on his shirt's buttons, intent on his getting dressed, but Doc Appleby caught his mild trembling and his slowing in getting dressed, his fingers now fighting with his shirt's buttons and a shy smile on his face hiding his discomfort.

"She's like usual. Nut". No rage, no pain, no amusement, nothing in his tone but a cold and indifferent statement.

Doc Appleby rested his head against his armchair, having a deep sigh and pinching the upper part of his nose between his right thumb and forefinger, his eyes closed, "Enos…", then he shook his head, taking again his pen in his right hand and starting to tapping it on the wooden table, gently, looking at Enos, "Enos, you shouldn't talk like that", he looked down at the table, "She did leave the Institute five years ago, didn't she?"

"Yeah, she usually stays there for a while, then, when she feels better, she leaves. She left five years ago, goin' I don't know where, and now she's here. Then, probably, she'll go again to the Institute for a while, and then she'll leave again, coming back I don't know when, again. Again, again, and again. In and out". Now his hands were fighting with his tie, in his mind the various times along his life he went to visit her at the Ridge Institute, a not-for-profit provider of psychiatric and addiction treatment lost in the Georgia's Blue Ridge Mountains, two hours by car far away from Hazzard.

"I gotta go, now, Doc Appleby. Thank you for this anti-acid, it'll be useful". Enos stood up, he took the sheet from the table and he headed to the door, Doc Appleby's disappointed eyes on him.

* * *

Hearing the office's door opening, Daisy stood up without even finishing to drink her tea and she ran to Enos.

"Enos, sugar, are you OK? What did Doc Appleby tell you?"

"Gastritis. And he gave me an anti-acid. As I told you, nothing to worry about", he put on his hat without looking at her and he walked to the door, "and now, I have to go to the Bank, or Rosco and Boss will kill me", he chuckled.

Finally outside Doc Appleby's house, Daisy grabbed his hand, squeezing it strongly, "Enos, please. I want only you to know… I'm worried for you, sugar. If you need any… If you want to talk to someone, I'm here. Don't forget 'bout it".

He looked silently at her, and Daisy couldn't say exactly what his look meant, it was like he was analyzing her. Finally he smiled sweetly and he leant over her, whispering in her ear, "I know Daisy, you've always been so kind to me. Thank you for everything", then he kissed gently her cheek.

Daisy, shocked, let his hand slip out hers, and she looked at him walking away, not at all satisfied by his words and of his gentle kiss: it was a way to talk to a friend, not to a fiancé, and in his tone there was a sort of quiet surprise and somehow embarrassment in knowing someone was really worried for him. Was it so difficult for him to believe someone could love him, really love him? Why did he always seem to take people's affection as a gesture of pity? And her gestures too? Disappointed, she folded her arms and she bit her lower lip, her eyes still on him walking to the Bank.

And her eyes were still on him when Rosco walked to him, his fist raised as he shouted at him something Daisy couldn't hear from where she was, but she perfectly saw Enos cower and raise his arms in defense.

* * *

Entering his apartment in the evening, Enos found his mother sitting on his bed, her eyes lost outside the window, no light in the room despite the darkness outside; did she stay like that all day long? A ashtray (where did she find that ashtray?) full of butts and a lighter on the night table near the bed seemed a proof of this hypothesis, the same way as the smoke's smell filling the room, and he hated that smell.

That same lighter on a night table near the bed, a dark room filled of cigarettes' smoke, only the moonlight entering the window, and a man burying his face against his mother's chest; he was a little child (three? Four years old?), walking to his parents' room (his father, a moonshiner, was out, but his mother was there) after a nightmare and stopping on the threshold after slowly opening the door, and then running back to his bedroom, the door closing behind him. It was the same smoke's smell, the same cigarettes' brand.

He felt sick, he switched the light on and he walked to the window, opening it wide, "I don't want you to smoke here, mom".

"And I don't want you to be a such gentleman, acting like a saint 'cause you need to be accepted by people, whereas you know perfectly well you're a loser".

Enos stiffened, clenching briefly his fists and blushing (because of rage? Or 'cause he thought she was right? He didn't know it), but controlling his voice and even managing to have a smile, "How's your headache? When I left, this morning, you were still sleeping, but I suppose you had a bad headache after… yesterday evening. Did you eat something? Cigarettes are not good to sober up"

"Oh, Enos. I'm so sorry. I'm so nasty… and you're so sweet to me. It's that… yeah, maybe it's because of the headache, and…", she started to talk randomly 'bout alcohol, smoke, weather, food, music, her life before to come back to Hazzard, and a lot of useless things 'till she burst out crying, her face buried against Enos's chest, her hands grabbing his arms.

And Enos wasn't surprise by it, he knew pretty well her way to shift from bein' nasty to that desperate crying. It was a prelude to something he knew very well.

"I think… I need to stay at the Ridge Institute, for a while", she sniffed against his chest.

For a while.

"Ok, mom, tomorrow I'm goin' to call Doc Martin, then I'm goin' to give you a lift".

For a while. He wondered what "for a while" meant, this time: three months as the last time? How long was she goin' to stay (and was he goin' to visit her, knowing the best side of her, the side he loved but the side that lasted for a such a short time?) before leaving again? And, at the Institute, was he goin' to meet her again?… Miss Kate?


	5. Last chance

"_Nobody likes being alone. I just hate the disappointment"_

_Haruki Murakami_

* * *

**LAST CHANCE**

Driving his "new" second-hand car (the one he bought after Scalnon blew up his old station wagon), Enos looked carefully at the street trying to avoid any pesky thought. He and his mother in the car, and he had to stay with her, in that car, for two hours, 'till they reached Ridge Institute. The day before he had to beg Boss Hogg to give him a day off, and he knew perfectly well that, from then, he'd have to work nearly 18 hours per day in order to have only one day off per week to go to visit his mother at Ridge Institute: the same way as he did 5 years ago, working hard during all the week to have only one day off to spend at the Institute with his mother, and with Miss Kate (was she still there?).

Fortunately his mother was in one of her good days, so she sat silently by his side, looking outside the car's window and sometimes talking 'bout innocuous things, and he hoped she was goin' to keep that mood until they arrived at the Institute.

"Hey, darling, stop, please"

Enos stopped the car, confused, and he had a chill when he realized they were in front of Dukes' farm and his mother was coming out the car walking to uncle Jesse.

"Hi, Jesse. It's a been a long time since I last seen you. How are you?".

Uncle Jesse looked at her in surprise, and then he looked at Enos coming out the car behind her. He was in his civilian clothes and he was driving his personal car, and, since Enos was usually always at work, it meant only one thing: he was taking his mother to Ridge Institute, the same way as 5 years ago.

"Hi, Rose. Please, come in and have a good coffee. You need it before to go… before your trip"

Enos felt uncle Jesse's embarrassment and he was goin' to politely refuse his invitation, but his mother was already happily pattering behind uncle Jesse, thanking him for his kindness. At that point, Enos couldn't do anything else but follow his mother inside Dukes farm, praying it was really one of her best days.

Sitting at the kitchen table, Enos centered on the cup of steaming coffee in front of him while uncle Jesse and his mother chatted as good old friends, remembering the time Thomas Strate ran moonshine with Jesse Duke, a time lost in a deep fog for Enos, a fog alike the smoke in his parents room that night, the night he saw his mother and that man. His hands' palm started to become sweaty, and it wasn't good; he grabbed the cup in front of him, pressing his palms against it and nearly shouting when he felt it burned, but fortunately he managed to hide his pain with a soft whisper, moving slowly away his hands from the steaming cup.

Uncle Jesse's eyes moved from Rose to Enos, lingering more on Enos than on Rose, but Enos never raised his eyes from the cup of coffee in front of him, and it wasn't good.

"Good morning…. Mrs Strate"

On the kitchen's threshold Luke looked at Rose Strate in surprise, but not too surprised not to greet, whereas Bo and Daisy stood behind him like waxworks.

"Hey Enos", uncle Jesse talked to Enos, "our sow had her piglets last night", then he looked at Luke, a meaningful look, "Luke, what do you think of checking how's the sow and her piglets?", then he turned again to Enos, "if you want to go with Luke…"

A pitiful attempt, but Enos thanked from the bottom of his heart uncle Jesse for that idea; he didn't want to have his friends, especially Daisy, in the same room with his mother, he didn't want his mother to remind them what they had to see at the Boar's Nest some days before. He stood up, smiling and walking to Bo, Luke and Daisy, "Piglets?! I want to see the piglets".

While Bo, Luke and Enos headed to the door, Daisy was doubtful if she had to follow them or to stay there, her arms folded as she looked alternatively at her cousins goin' away with Enos and at Rose Strate sitting at the table with uncle Jesse, but a clear look of her uncle pushed her out the door: uncle Jesse wanted to talk with Rose Strate, face to face, and Daisy hoped he was goin' to read her the riot act.

And Daisy was right.

After a brief silence, in the kitchen only he and Rose Strate, uncle Jesse looked into Rose Strate's eyes, "Rose, what are you planning to do, this time? Are you goin' to stay at the Institute for the necessary time, or are you goin' to run away, again, hurting Enos? You know perfectly well how badly that boy wants to see you finally …", he had a pause, "… getting well and coming back to Hazzard finally… bein' yourself"

Rose Strate slowly sipped her coffee, her empty eyes looking somewhere behind uncle Jesse, then uncle Jesse saw a spark in the deep of her pupils and she stared at him, "Bein'… myself? Who's myself, Jesse? I'm already myself. Getting well from… what, exactly? Getting well from… myself? Enos knows exactly who I am, even if he wants to keep on hoping I'm someone else, but I know myself enough to understand I can't take care of him, and it's why I left when he was five years old. A lot better for him… and for me… and for Thomas too"

"Better for him? Rose, do you know anything 'bout Enos' childhood? Better for him to stay with Opie and Minnie Strate?", uncle Jesse tried to smooth out his rage, "Why did you give up bein' his mother?".

"I gave up 'cause I was NOT able to be his mother, and I'm not able even now. I'd like to be… something different, but I'm totally… darkness, even if I try and I try to be something else, and Enos doesn't want to understand I can't be anything else".

Uncle Jesse had a deep sigh; how many times had he that conversation with that woman?

"If you're so sure you can't be anything else, so, WHY, for God's sake, do you keep on descending on his life like that, hurting him every time you come here? If you know you're only able to hurt him, stay away from him, let him live his own life without forcing him to… take care of you"

Rose Strate stood up, looking down at uncle Jesse, "'cause… if I hurt him, and I hurt him again and again, he's finally goin' to hate me, living without waiting for me and worrying for me. I prefer breaking things with my own hands than to see things crumbling anyway even if I try to save something, vainly. Compared to the loneliness of losing everything, I prefer the pain of cracking up", then she headed out the kitchen, sniggering, "And now, I want to see the piglets, I want to see how a sow can be a better mother than me"

Frustrated by that vain talk, uncle Jesse followed Rose Strate outside the house; Enos, Daisy, Bo and Luke were talking in a relaxed way near the fence, their talk centered on piglets they just saw in the pigsty (but, obviously, they preferred to keep on talking 'bout it outside the pigsty), but they stopped as they saw Rose Strate's approaching.

"Come on, Enos, it's late, and nuts have to be brought to the Institute", Rose Strate walked past Enos, heading to the car; uncle Jesse couldn't help but gritting his teeth as he saw Enos turning pale and Bo, Luke and Daisy looking down.

"I'm sorry. I gotta go, now", his look down, Enos whispered these few words before to reach his mother and driving away.

Looking at Enos' car, Daisy felt a ravaging rage overwhelming her, and she stormed inside the house, the door slamming behind her. _"If that woman hurts Enos, again, I… I…", _she sank into her bed, her face buried in her pillow, 'till uncle Jesse entered her room after a gentle knocking.

"Daisy"

Her face still buried in her pillow, Daisy felt her uncle sitting near her, "How can I not to hate her, uncle Jesse? She's so… unpleasant. I hope you read her the riot act, telling her she better not try to hurt Enos, 'cause if she hurts him, I…"

"Daisy", uncle Jesse's hand touched Daisy's shoulder, "You can't prevent her from hurting him, even if I hope this time it'll be different and she won't hurt him. Give her another chance", what a pitiful lie, and uncle Jesse knew it, "Anyway, you can be by his side in case he ends up bein' hurt".

Daisy sat up and she looked at her uncle, "You remember last time she came here, don't you? Enos' appendix burst, oh, yeah, I know it wasn't her fault", Daisy blushed a bit realizing her words were pretty weird, and, in effect, uncle Jesse raised his eyebrows in surprise, "I remember how many times he went to the Institute to visit her, working hard during the week only to have one day off, and I remember how much pain he … suffered … when she left the Institute, without telling him goodbye. He tried to act as normal, but… Ever since he started talking 'bout bein' a cop in a big city and applied for LAPD I've honestly thought it was his way to look for his mother".

Uncle Jesse had a deep sigh, "Daisy, it's 5 years ago, maybe this time it'll be different"

Daisy buried again her face in her pillow.

What a pitiful lie, both Daisy and uncle Jesse knew it was a lie.

* * *

Finally Enos saw Ridge Institute, he was finally there, after driving for two hours, his palms covered in cold sweat, waiting for his mother to snap at him, but fortunately Rose Strate remained quiet during their trip.

He came out the car, looking, five years after the last time, at the small green building surrounded by mountain's pines and oaks; it was the central building of the Institute and behind it, he knew, sparse in the nearby wood, there were several little cabins used by patients who were able to take care of themselves, a way to occupy them with a sort of "real" life with kind of a "home" and kind of a "work" (cooking, sewing, taking care of chickens, goats, pigs and various animals, working in small kitchen gardens).

He walked on the pebbly lane from the parking to the building door, in his hand his mother bag as she walked by his side, still silent. Inside the building, he found the same hall he knew so well, a wide wooden hall with scattered small tables and gray and comfortable couches around the tables; nothing had changed since the last time he was there, even the smell (a mix of smoke, coffee, food and disinfectant) was the same. He walked to the reception desk where two nurses were looking at him and at his mother, and a nurse smiled at them, knowing the "new" patient even before Enos talked.

"Welcome back, Rose. Doc Martin is waiting for you"

As Enos looked at his mother walking away down the long corridor and entering Doc Martin's office (he knew pretty well it was Doc Martin's office) with the nurse, the second nurse took the bag from his hand and she smiled at him.

"Wait here, Enos"

They knew him as they knew his mother.

Alone in that hall, Enos walked to a couch and he sank into it, looking at everything around him, and finding everything at the same place. It wasn't time for visiting, and patients, at that hour, were occupied in their "activities", so he felt totally lost.

"Hey, Enos. Your mother is back, isn't she?"

Her voice behind him made him start; he stood up and he turned to her, "Hi Miss Kate".

Standing in front of him there was Miss Kate, a forty-year-old woman he knew since the first time he visited her mother there (at that time, obviously, she wasn't forty-year-old, but since she was 7 years older than him, she had to be forty-year-old at the present time whereas the first time he saw her she was 22 years old), a smiling little woman with straight and long brown hair and green eyes, a woman who entered Ridge Institute when she was 20 years old and never went away, turning from patient into a sort of employed there, healthy enough to help other patients but not enough to leave that safe (for her) place for the dangerous world outside, a woman who usually shared her little cabin with his mother (in every cabin there were two patients, the older one, older not for age but for time spent at the Institute, helping the younger one), a woman Enos remembered singing and playing the guitar pretty well (he remembered every time spent in the little cabin with his mother and that woman, singing as the snow fell outside the window), a woman who knew everything 'bout Enos' pain and darkness, maybe the only woman who had seen him crying and shouting out his pain, a woman Enos loved as SHE was his mother, even if, when his mother was away from the Institute, he avoided meeting or calling her, trying to keep a distance between his world and the Institute's (and Miss Kate's) world, a sad, dark and dangerous world for him.

"Yeah, she's back", he smiled blushing, "and I hope this time she's goin' to stay… and to get well. Her new chance", he looked down at the tidy floor; a pitiful lie, but he couldn't help but keeping on hoping it.

Miss Kate came closer him and she hugged him, "Welcome back, Enos".


	6. Choices

_"People aren't overcome by situations or outside forces. Defeat comes from within"_

_Banana Yoshimoto_

* * *

**CHOICES**

"How are you, Enos?"

Miss Kate hugged him tight, and Enos felt ashamed of his absence along the last five years; sometimes he phoned to Ridge Institute, even during the time his mother wasn't there, especially at Christmas, to have a little talk with Miss Kate, and sometimes he sent her a letter and she wrote him back, but he knew perfectly well he somehow avoided that strange relationship and that bond with that place, and, moreover, he hid that bond to anyone (Daisy too) in Hazzard, and his hiding it made him feel even more guilty towards Miss Kate.

"Come on, your mother is goin' to have a very long talk with Doc Martin, and she knows where to find us", Miss Kate walked away from Enos, heading to the door, and Enos followed her, as many times before, his shoes cracking on the little pebbly lane leading to a wide area behind the central building. He walked slowly, looking at everything around him; nothing had changed: the little cabins were scattered in a wide space, between high pines and oaks, a sort of little village lost into the woods, a dreamy and enchanted view, a world outside the world.

And even Miss Kate's cabin wasn't changed at all, neither that scent.

"Apple pie?", he inhaled the sweet scent and he smiled. Was it a dream?

"Yeah, apple pie. Yesterday Doc Martin told me your mother was coming back, and, since I knew you would be here with her, I prepared my famous apple pie… for you", she laughed as Enos blushed, both because of happiness and because of his sense of guilty.

Sitting at the table of the little living room while Miss Kate stood in front of the cooking corner's stove, only the sound of water's boiling, Enos thought of how many times that woman prepared apple pie and tea for him, like a mother (even if she was only 7 years older than him). Was it possible the only place where he felt at ease was a psychiatric clinic? For sure it meant a lot, it meant his life's never been a normal and quiet life, except for Dukes (the only spark in it), and this awareness was what usually pushed him as much as possible away from that place, despite his affection for Miss Kate, away from that place to the real world.

As usual, Miss Kate seemed to read into his mind, "And how's 'bout life out of here, Enos? How's Daisy?", she winked, "and uncle Jesse… Bo… Luke?"

And as usual Enos started talking to her 'bout everything of his life, 'bout his last five years, 'bout his staying in L.A., 'bout his relationship with Daisy and 'bout their nearly wedding too. Sometimes he stopped and he answered to Miss Kate's questions, then his memories' flux kept on flowing and he talked and talked, a shy smile on his face as Miss Kate listened to him, his fingers playing with the cup in front of him, with his plate and fork and with everything they touched, but it wasn't his usual fidgeting, it was something more confident and relaxed.

She not only had a special gift to make him talk 'bout everything, but she had also a precious way to make his relationship with his mother easier and more relaxed, or, maybe, her mother simply changed in someone better when she was in that place (due to Miss Kate? To Doc Martin? To medicines? Or due to everything?).

Enos realized it was late afternoon when her mother finally entered the little cabin and he looked at the watch: 4 hours, he talked to Miss Kate for 4 hours, nonstop. Why did he talk to her so openly? Maybe 'cause she lived there, out of the world, and she wanted to stay there, so she couldn't have any contact with his world. He could totally open up to her but she couldn't talk 'bout him with anyone who knew him, so his inner soul was safe in that enchanted world. Was it the reason why he liked to talk to her so much? Somehow he felt like he was "using" her when he wanted to, and this pesky thought made feel him guilty.

"Rose…How are you?"

Miss Kate stood up and she walked to Rose Strate, hugging her.

Enos looked at his mother: she seemed already someone else, only after a long talk with Doc Martin. Did she feel at ease in that place the same way he did?

Now, they were still there: he, his mother and Miss Kate, like several times in the past, moving inside the little living room as they cooked dinner, talking of different things in a calm and friendly way, like a family. Miss Kate's presence turned Enos and his mother into a family; when he was there, like that, he'd have stopped time, whereas when he was away from there, he wanted to forget everything about that place, to forget also 'bout Miss Kate, and his sense of guilty was tearing him apart.

The sweet kiss of his mother on his cheek when she sat near him for dinner stirred his heart: why wasn't she always like that? Why couldn't they stay like that, all three of them, forever? But it was impossible, he knew it pretty well, that world wasn't the real world; anyway, he liked that world, a world where his mother was like he wanted her to be and where there was Miss Kate.

Sitting at that table with his mother and Miss Kate, he felt better, even better than when he stayed at Dukes's farm, and a lot better that when he stayed at uncle Opie and aunt Minnie's home, obviously. Even when he was at Dukes', despite his affection for them, despite that he thought of them as a family, he wasn't totally at ease: he felt "lower" than them, and he felt their kindness as a sort of pity for him and for his past ("the poor ol' and sweet Enos"), whereas his mother and Miss Kate were on his same level. His mother was right: he was a loser, like her and, somehow, like Miss Kate, who lost her fight toward the world outside in that place, choosing to stay forever out of the real world. On the contrary, Dukes were more at ease and strong in a world he felt instead somehow foreign and rejecting people like him, his mother and Miss Kate; Dukes were much above him. It was what he started to think any time he came to this place, and he was both scared and relieved by it, which was a really confusing feeling.

He wanted to stay there, but at the same time he wanted to run away, coming back to the real world and to … Daisy.

"I gotta go, now. I have to work tomorrow. Thank your for dinner"

He stood up and walked to the door, but stopped when Miss Kate started to tune up her guitar.

"Enos, if you want, you may stay here for the night and leave tomorrow. You know you're welcome, here"

Staying for the night, huddled on the couch, the scent of apple pie still in the living room, his mother and Miss Kate sleeping in their bedroom. He looked at his mother, a relaxed and sweet smile on her face, so rare but so beautiful, and then he looked at Miss Kate, the guitar on her lap. He had to choose between it and a night spent at the Boarding House, having loneliness as his only companion, and he chose.

* * *

"He didn't come back", Daisy stormed into the kitchen and she sat at the table, her arms folded, "I waited for him at the Boarding House, but he didn't come back, and if he's not there, yet, it means he's goin' to stay at the Institute for the night", she looked at uncle Jesse, "Why does he stay there? I don't understand why he wants to stay by his mother side when she treats him like… you know… He's starting to spend his time at the Institute like he did five years ago: the day he went to visit his mother he ended up staying there all day and all night long, coming back to Hazzard after driving for two hours early in the next morning in order to go to work. It's not… good"

Uncle Jesse let her rant, "Daisy, the point is that… Rose Strate is his mother, no matter how she treats him or how much she's hurt him. Enos loves her, and he really wants her to get well. I think Rose Strate is a pretty different woman when she stays at the Institute, or, at least, it's what Enos usually says", he sighed, _"it's the ONLY thing he says 'bout the Institute"._

"And then he'll start to be always absent-minded, more and more absent-minded after every visit with his mother, and more and more lacking in self confidence and shy. I really don't know what's worse for him, keeping on visit his mother, hoping for her staying there in order to get well, or bein' hurt by her leaving", without even listening to her uncle, she kept on talking.

"For him both things are bad, Daisy. We can only stay by his side, but we can't interfere with his choice to visit his mother nor with his hoping"

"But we all know Rose Strate's goin' to hurt him, again, and I can't stand it, I can't stand to see him suffer", she stood up and she headed to her bedroom, its door slamming behind her.

Uncle Jesse had a deep sigh and he shook his head.

"She's very upset, maybe too upset", Bo looked at her bedroom door slamming and then he turned to his uncle, "Don't you think, uncle Jesse, that we ALL worry about Enos, but she acts as if she's the only one who really worries about him, and that she's the only one who has the right to worry about him?"

Luke remained silent, his blue eyes thoughtful.

Uncle Jesse stood up, "Help me to clear the dishes", he took Daisy's plate (she didn't even eat dinner) and, after covering it with another plate, he put it into the oven in case she wanted to eat something later, but he knew she'd eat nothing 'till the next morning.

Moving inside the little kitchen with his nephews, his family, uncle Jesse started to think of Rose Strate and her words: _"If I hurt him, and I hurt him again and again, he's finally goin' to hate me, living without waiting for me and worrying for me. Compared to the loneliness of losing everything, I prefer the pain of cracking up"._ Daisy wasn't the only one to be upset, really upset.

* * *

Huddled on the couch, between sleeping and wake, Enos slowly opened his eyes, enjoying the scent of apple pie and the moonlight entering the window, an old and good feeling. How long was it goin' to last? His heartbeat started to quicken and he erased that pesky question from his mind. THIS time it's goin' to last, it HAD to last, he wanted his mother always like that, like the woman she usually used to be when she stayed at the Institute. He wanted it with all his strenght.

He closed again his eyes and he tried to relax and to sleep, thinking of Miss Kate, his mother and him all together in that little room, their chatting and Miss Kate's guitar. How many times did he feel that calm and that happiness? And how many times did he end up hurt and torn apart?

He clenched his fists and he buried his face against the pillow: this time it's goin' to be different. He's goin' to save his mother from herself.


	7. Fallen

"_Pick me up", is the message of a person who keeps falling._

_Milan Kundera_

* * *

**FALLEN**

In his patrol car, his folded arms leaning on the wheel and his forehead resting on his arms, Enos focused on the rain's drumming against the windscreen, any other thought pushed out of his head in a continuous and strenuous fight.

"_I can't think always 'bout it, I can't think always 'bout it",_ it was his mantra, _"This is the REAL world and I have to live in THIS world"_, but, no matter how much he tried, his mind kept on falling into that enchanted world, where his mother was sweet and… normal (but what's the sense of bein' normal in a world where normality was oddity? What's normality?), and where there was Miss Kate, the guardian of his inner soul.

He took a deep breath, the fight in his mind becoming more and more ravaging, his last and desperate move bein' to erase EVERYTHING in his mind, real and unreal, everything.

It was evening, a fall's rainy evening, and the sky was so cloudy it seemed already night. The drops on the windscreen and on the car's windows reflected inside the car as transparent worms moving everywhere.

"_This is the REAL world and I have to live in THIS world"_. This world, Dukes' world, and they were waiting for him at the farm; he switched on the ignition.

* * *

Daisy looked outside the kitchen's window, the dinner's scent filling the room.

One month. One month spent barely seeing Enos, every day of the his week spent working hard to have only one day off during the weekend, and using it to visit his mother at the Institute (he usually left Hazzard in the morning to come back the morning after). In that month summer turned into fall, and, that evening, it was the first time Enos accepted to come for dinner to the farm.

Where was the man she knew after their nearly wedding? A sweet and always smiling man, a man asking her out, a man having long walks with her, hand in hand, a man moving 'round her without his famous shyness (but, anyway, bein' always a gentleman and never touching her besides their walking hand in hand), still a bit shy, but no more shy to the point of running away from her. He was gone, totally gone after Rose Strate's arrival in Hazzard, turning into a totally shy and offish man, always scared to say or to do something wrong; his nervous fidgeting, his easy blushing and his looking down at his feet as he talked were again his marks, like so many times in the past.

"Is he not here, yet? I'm hungry"

Daisy looked at Luke entering the kitchen.

"He's coming, don't worry. And please", Daisy turned to her older cousin, "Luke, please, during the dinner, don't talk 'bout his mother nor 'bout the Institute. Don't ask him anything, I know pretty well he doesn't want to talk 'bout it"

"I too know it, Daisy, I'm not so insensitive. And, besides, I care for Enos… as you, and as uncle Jesse and Bo".

Daisy caught his offended tone, "You're right, I'm sorry, Luke, I didn't mean you're insensitive. It's that… I'm only worried", she turned again to the window, her eyes fixed on the street, _"and, anyway, I guess I care for him MORE than any of you"; _in her mind a thought she preferred not sharing with him, nor with anyone else. It'd have been a long talk, and it wasn't the case to go back to their talking the day she decided to marry Enos, something that surprised everyone (HER too). But it wasn't the time to talk 'bout her feelings for Enos nor to force her mind into her psychology. She knew pretty well what she felt, but she didn't know exactly when it started and how or why, but her feelings were stronger and stronger since that day, not a new feeling but something inside her for a long time, now finally waking up.

She were looking outside the window without seeing anything, her eyes lost in something else, when the sound of a car stopping in front of the farm woke her up from her thoughts.

She watched him coming out the patrol car and running to the kitchen door, under the lashing rain. When he entered the kitchen, despite his staying only few seconds under the rain, his clothes were damp, a strong but sweet scent emanating from his body, a mix of soap, aftershave, shampoo and… his skin. The image of his skin as he was taking off his shirt in Doc Appleby's office exploded into Daisy's mind and she had to avert her gaze from him, her cheeks burning as she blushed, Mrs. Appleby's words resounding in her ears _("Daisy Duke, you're really lusting for Enos Strate, aren't you?")._ Lusting, another thing she wondered 'bout so many times along the last month, something it wasn't the case to linger over, in that moment, bein' Enos by her side with his shirt adhering to his body as a second skin, his scent surrounding her like a steamy drug.

Bo, even if involuntary, came to help her cousin, "Hey Enos, how are you, buddy?", he walked to his older friend and he gently patted him on the cheek, "Did you come here by swimming?"

"Shucks, Bo, it's raining", Enos smiled and he took off his hat.

"If you don't want to catch a cold in a evening like that, boy, you'd take off that shirt", uncle Jesse entered the kitchen, another involuntary but useful help for Daisy, "Bo, give Enos one of your shirts, please"

"Yes sir. Enos, come on, buddy"

While Bo and Enos walked away, uncle Jesse came closer Daisy.

"Daisy, are you OK? You seem … shocked. Is something wrong?"

His scent bein' gone with him, Daisy calmed, "I'm OK, uncle Jesse, don't worry".

No, shocked wasn't the right definition of her feeling, not at all, but, obviously, it wasn't a feeling she could talk 'bout to her uncle.

* * *

They talked, sitting around the table, 'bout everything (except THAT thing).

He was at the same table with Dukes, as so many times in the past, so many happy times; he couldn't help but thank them, from the bottom of his heart, of bein' so friendly with him, avoiding THAT thing, even if he knew perfectly well they asked him to come for dinner because of it: "poor ol' sweet Enos", did they call him that way?

Was he so pitiful? Was it the reason why Daisy averted her eyes from him when he entered the farm? He noticed her looking away, on her face a mix of embarrassment and worrisome: was it pity? The same pity that brought her to ask him to marry her that day, to protect him from false charges, probably.

He put gently down his fork in the plate, his appetite totally gone.

"Enos, sugar, is something wrong? Don't you like it? You should eat something more, you're becoming thinner, is it because of your… stomach?"

Daisy immediately regretted her words 'bout his stomach (talking 'bout it meant remembering their visiting Doc Appleby, and talking 'bout their visiting Doc Appleby meant remembering his gastritis and, obviously, the reason of his gastritis): she just broke, awkwardly, her family's underlying agreement to avoid any hint to Rose Strate. She'd have slapped herself because of that stupid question.

"Maybe he's only tired because of his hard working lately, Daisy, don't force him"

Daisy casted an angry look in Bo's direction, _"Oh, really perfect, Bo. And now, what's our next move? Asking him 'bout his mother and the Institute?". _But, despite her angry thoughts towards Bo, she couldn't blame her younger cousin 'bout his words, she was the one to blame for that slipping into that unwilling conversation.

She noticed Enos' stiffening and his forced smile as he stood up, murmuring an excuse, and then heading to the door, coming out under that lashing rain.

When she stood up to reach him, uncle Jesse grabbed her arm, stopping her.

"It's better you stay here, Daisy. I'm goin' to talk to him. He's too embarrassed to talk to you or to Bo and Luke, especially to you, whereas, talking to me, he could put his pride aside". He stood up and he walked out, reaching Enos and stopping near him, careless of the rain soaking them.

Daisy looked at them from the kitchen's window, her uncle talking to Enos and Enos answering him, motionless under the rain, his head down. She looked at uncle Jesse slowly raising an arm and reaching Enos' nape, gently moving the deputy's head to his shoulder 'till Enos's forehead rested on it.

Daisy, Bo and Luke, all three of them now looking outside the window, stared at Enos' back trembling as he cried (was he crying?) on their uncle's shoulder.

* * *

In the farm's little guestroom, Enos looked at the ceiling.

Did he really burst out crying on uncle Jesse's shoulder? He barely remembered it; he recalled his crying like a dream, the rain hitting him and mixing with his tears, his whispering between sobs his desire to have finally his mother back, his coming back inside the farm as Daisy, Bo and Luke looked at him with sad eyes (whereas he tried to avoid their eyes), his taking off his drenched clothes in the little bathroom and his accepting to sleep at the farm, bein' too tired and confused to refuse, even if the only thing he wanted at that moment was running away.

Looking at the ceiling, he felt ashamed, totally ashamed. He buried his face against the pillow. In that world, he was a loser.

He glanced at the watch: 5 a.m.

It was his day off, the day he could fall into that enchanted world, the world of Miss Kate and of his mother's (the best version of her). He slowly stood up and he reached his now dry uniform; he dressed up and he silently came out the farm, like a thief, heading to the Boarding House to undress his uniform, wearing his civilian clothes, and to take his personal car.

How could he look again into Daisy, Bo and Luke's eyes (especially Daisy's eyes) after that embarrassing manifestation of his weakness and inferiority?


	8. Snow

"_No truth can cure the sorrow we feel from losing a loved one. No truth, no sincerity, no strength, no kindness can cure that sorrow. All we can do is see it through to the end and learn something from it, but what we learn will be no help in facing the next sorrow that comes to us without warning"_

_Haruki Murakami_

* * *

**SNOW**

In the little cabin, his head resting on Miss Kate's lap, Enos slowly opened his eyes after a long sleep; he needed several minutes to realize where he was, and, after he realized he was with Miss Kate, he relaxed.

Three months spent torn between the Institute and Hazzard: he looked at the snow outside the window in that late fall, a snow transforming that world in something even more muffle and dreaming.

"Enos, I think you shouldn't stay here so much. I'm starting to … worry for you"

He knew it, he perfectly knew it but hearing it from Miss Kate saddened him, as she was rejecting him, "I'm fine. There's nothing to worry for, really"

Miss Kate gave a deep breath and she caressed his hair, "Nothing to worry for, Enos? When did you talk to Dukes last time? You're avoiding them since that evening, you're avoiding your best friends, and you can't endure all this loneliness"

"I'm not alone. I'm talking to you, now", he huddled on the couch, his head still on Miss Kate's lap, and he closed his eyes, a useless attempt to avoid that talk. She was right, and he knew it: since that evening, the evening he showed himself as a crying loser to Dukes, he avoided them, he avoided any invite for dinner, he avoided even to talk to them when he met them, always using his duty as excuse, burying himself in his work.

"Enos, they're your friends, and I really think they're worrying for you, so stop run away from them, please. I've seen you crying a lot of times along these years, but I've never thought of you as a loser. So, WHY do you think they see you this way?"

Enos felt his cheeks burning. _"'Cause Dukes are above me… and above you too. You're a loser like me since you're not able to leave this place and to face the real world",_ but obviously it wasn't a thought he could confess to her_._

"I'd have never run away from the world if I had had some friends like Dukes, and I don't want to see you running away when you have a reason to stay. I'm not saying I'm not happy to see you here and to have a talk with you, but THIS isn't your world, the world you belong to is Daisy's world"

He swallowed against the lump in his throat, "Are you sure?"

"I'm TOTALLY sure 'bout it, Enos. You deserve the best, and this place is NOT the best for you. You're not a loser. How many times have I to say it to you, Enos? There are a lot of people caring for you in the real world, Daisy really cares for you, I somehow feel it, I feel it because of what you've told me 'bout her and 'bout her way to act"

Was she right? He wanted to believe it with all this strength, but every time he tried to stand up he fell back into those pesky thoughts 'bout everyone having only pity of him.

When the door opened, an icy blast hit him like a lash… and not only the blast.

"What a day. I HATE all this snow", Rose Strate entered the room, the door slamming behind her, "and Doc Martin is sometimes really annoying". She sat at the table, she pulled her lighter and her cigarettes out her jacket's pocket and the room filled with the smell Enos hated so much.

Overwhelmed by a sense of nausea, he sat up; it wasn't only because of that smell, but because of her mother's snapping, something happening too often, lately. And it was probably the reason why Miss Kate was trying to push him back to the real world; she was seeing it coming, and, even if he wanted to believe something different, he too was seeing it coming: Rose Strate's snapping was a prelude of her leaving the Institute. Miss Kate was trying to protect him against a new disappointment, he knew it, and he loved her even more because of her knowing him and his mother so well, and he felt even more ashamed of his thinking of her as a loser because of her running away from the world.

"Enos, I think it's better to come back to Hazzard now, without waiting 'till tomorrow. It's snowing hard, and tomorrow you could have problems to reach Hazzard".

Miss Kate's voice reached him through a dark fog surrounding him.

"You're right. I gotta go, now. See you next week, Miss Kate", he slowly stood up, fighting against a pressing nausea. A sort of alarm in his head told him to run away, run away from that place before it was too late, before it swallowed him then spitting him out, totally crashed. A new disappointment was coming, and he felt like a little mouse looking at a cat pouncing on him; he knew he couldn't do anything, now he knew it, despite all his previous hopes; he tried to comfort himself reminding it wasn't the first time, he'd have carried this weight like many times before, enduring it and learning from it… 'till the next time, and, in order to be ready for the next time, he had to come back to the real world.

He took his jacket and he walked to the door, "Bye, mom, see you next week"; he closed the door behind him before she answered him, an answer that, anyway, he knew not coming.

The only loser was HE, running away alternatively from BOTH words: it was what he was wondering as he walked away, the snow crunching under his shoes.

* * *

Daisy didn't want to give up, not at all. Since that morning, the morning she woke up to find he left the farm without even say goodbye, the day he started to avoid her, to avoid all of them (Bo, Luke and even uncle Jesse, no, not even but … especially uncle Jesse).

"It's the day he goes to the Institute, so I think he won't come back 'till tomorrow"

Uncle Jesse's voice stopped her as she was opening the door.

"I know it, but… maybe… maybe this time…", her hand on the door's handle she sighed.

"Another raid to the town to meet Enos? It's the day he goes to visit his mother, isn't it? So, no way to meet him, this evening", Luke entered the living room and he sank into the couch, a cars' magazine in his hands, "we've barely talked to him in the last two months. He's running away as a mouse chased by a cat", he pretended to read but it was pretty clear it was disappointed and worried.

"He's too much prideful and too much stubborn", Bo joined his older cousin on the couch.

"He's too much confused and distraught, but he doesn't want we see him that way", uncle Jesse shook his head, his mind back to that raining evening, Enos' crying on his shoulder, something that really surprised him; it shocked him, in effect.

"He can't keep on avoiding us, hiding in his loneliness, so I'm goin' to bring him back to us. He lives in Hazzard, not at the Institute", before anyone could answer her, Daisy closed the door behind her.

Another attempt to meet him and to talk to him, even if she knew it was pretty impossible to meet him his day off, but Daisy couldn't give up, she was obsessed by him, more and more obsessed since that evening, his pain so clear to the point to scare her.

His car parked in front of the Boarding House surprised her, the snow still on it stating he was back from the Institute; she couldn't help but thinking that it was already winter, there, and maybe it was the reason why he was back.

She parked her jeep behind his car and she walked to the Boarding House, reaching the stairs and then his apartment. Standing in front of his closed door she wondered what to say to him; she took a deep breath, she'd have thought of what to say later, but now she had to see him, and for sure he couldn't run away from her so easily in his apartment.

She knocked, and it seemed like hours before he opened the door.

"Daisy?!, What…?", he looked at her in surprise, then he managed to smile, "Hi Dais".

She slipped into the little apartment, the door half open as he was standing there, totally shocked by her coming, "Hi Enos", she smiled, "I noticed your car, and… I understood you were here, and since it's a long time since…", she took a deep breath, what a pitiful conversation, she had to stop it, "OK, now, Enos, I'm really worried for you. I don't want you to avoid me, to avoid ... us, 'cause we care for you. You have to stop to… run away".

He was looking at her, even more shocked than before, "And… did you come here for… it?"

Daisy opened her eyes wide, "Are you surprised I'm so worried for you to come here to say it to you? Yeah, I'm worried to the point I can barely sleep, cause I keep on thinking of you, and I have nightmares because of you"

"_Daisy really cares for you, I somehow feel it, I feel it because of what you've told me 'bout her and 'bout her way to act"_, maybe Miss Kate was right, it wasn't only pity. He looked down at the floor, "Thanks, Dais. I appreciate it, really"

She smiled sweetly and she came closer him, "Enos, sugar, please, stop running away from people caring for you".

"_The world you belong to is Daisy's world". _He had to come back to that world before it was too late, "You're… right. I think I should… I should come to the farm… for dinner, one of these evenings", he blushed, "if… if you want to, obviously"

Daisy's heart stirred, "Of course I want you to come for dinner. You're welcome to the farm, Enos, always", she gently kissed his lips but she stopped when she felt him stiffening: step by step, she had to be content of his apparent stopping to run away, now.

"OK, one of these evenings. Maybe… on Thursday?", he held his breath waiting for her answer, enjoying the feeling of bein' again in her world and trying to grab that feeling.

"Thursday evening would be perfect".

Mission accomplished: on her way home, Daisy felt relieved, and, that night, she was able to sleep, a long night without nightmares.

* * *

Thursday, 4. A.M.

The phone rang in Enos' apartment, waking him up.

He looked confused at the clock, wondering who's calling him so early in the morning.

4 A.M.: it meant only troubles. And troubles meant…

He reached the phone, his hands sweaty and his heart beating fast, "This is Enos Strate speakin'"

Miss Kate's voice, broken with sobs, froze him; he pressed the receiver against his ear, wondering if it was only a nightmare, a terrible nightmare. Without even realizing it, he fell on his knees, crying and sobbing hopelessly, the receiver on the floor near him.

His world, BOTH his worlds were crashing, forever: his mother died.


	9. Love rhymes with death

"_This tremendous world I have inside of me. How to free myself, and this world, without tearing myself to pieces? And rather tear myself to a thousand pieces than be buried with this world within me"_

_Franz Kafka_

* * *

**LOVE RHYMES WITH DEATH**

Enos walked toward the patrol cars' flashings, his mind wrapped in a confusing fog as in a dream (better to say a nightmare) in that early morning, the sun sparkling on the snow all around him, nearly blinding him. When his hand reached the yellow and black tape, a cop stopped him.

"Where are you goin'? You can't pass that tape"

Waking up from that strange state of vigil unconsciousness, Enos stopped, his hand still clenching the tape, his eyes on the cop who's coming closer him.

"I'm… I'm… the son of Rose Strate. And… I'm a cop, I'm deputy Strate, Enos Strate", only few words, but costing him a great effort since his throat was totally dry and he was fighting against a pressing nausea.

The cop stared at him, his look and his voice changing from roughness to pity, "Uh, I'm sorry deputy Strate. But… you can't pass that tape, anyway. Come on, you can talk to Sheriff McGregor; he can explain you everything", he smiled friendly, "I'm deputy Elliott"

Enos walked behind the cop… deputy Elliott, focusing on the snow under his shoes in order not to slip and in order to focus his mind on anything different from what was behind the tape: a black car surrounded by other cops. He walked his eyes down, avoiding any other sight of what's around him, 'cause he knew pretty well everything (trees, snow, tape and cars) would have visited him in his nightmares along his life.

"Enos…"

It was Doc Martin's voice. When he looked up, he saw Miss Kate by Doc Martin's side.

Enos forced his voice through needles piercing his throat, "What…?"

A uniformed man, Sheriff McGregor, as Enos supposed, walked toward him, "I'm sorry to meet you this way, deputy Strate. It's a case of… apparent double suicide"

_Apparent… double… suicide_

_Double… suicide_

_Suicide…_

"Your mother… and this man. Do you know this man? He's probably your mother's lover, since they're… ehm… hugging"

_Lover?_ Only in movies or books love rhymes with death, only in movies or books lovers commit suicide that way; it was what he's always thought.

Enos saw Sheriff McGregor walking to him, in his hands a picture, his figure wrapped in a gray fog. As he approached Enos, Sheriff McGregor kept on talking, "they used this man's car and a tube… ehm… it's a case of carbon monoxide poisoning"

_Carbon monoxide poisoning: _when he was in L.A. he saw a young man dead because of carbon monoxide poisoning, a suicide; he remembered the body of that man in his car. There's no need Sheriff McGregor explained him how it worked.

"It seems a case of double suicide, but… we have to wait for autopsies and scientific analysis to confirm it, or… it could be a case of homicide-suicide instead, … less probably a double homicide".

Enos stood in front of Sheriff McGregor, the voice of the sheriff becoming more and more distant and the fog around him more and more thick.

"Ehm… sheriff McGregor, I think it's better… to stop, now", Doc Martin approached Enos and he squeezed gently his arm, "Come on to the Institute, you need… you need to sit down and to calm".

"Enos, please, come on", Miss Kate's voice added to Doc Martin's.

Walking between Doc Martin and Miss Kate, Enos reached the Institute like in a dream, finally sinking into a bed in one of the little rooms of the central building, closing his eyes and falling into something more similar to coma than to sleep.

* * *

"_He's shocked, poor Enos"_

"_Somehow, I felt things would have gone this way, at the end, with Rose, but I hoped that… it could be different"_

"_I'm feeling guilty, Doc Martin, 'cause I didn't hear Rose goin' out last night. If I had heard her, maybe…"_

"_It's not your fault, Kate. If there's someone to blame, I'm the culprit. I'm a psychiatrist, and I should have prevented it"_

Miss Kate's and Doc Martin's voices reached Enos's mind through a sort of thick wall made of smoke and jelly, or it was what it seemed to him. He opened his eyes and he looked at the little room around him: yellow walls, a wooden wardrobe and near the bed a small table with a yellow night lamp on it. A quiet room, but his heart was too much in turmoil to enjoy anything 'round him.

Miss Kate's and Doc Martin's voices came muffled from the other side of the wall, probably from Doc Martin's office. He came out the bed and he walked to the door. When he entered Doc Martin's office, Miss Kate and the psychiatrist looked at him; Miss Kate stood up from the couch and she came closer him, hugging him tight, "I'm so sorry, Enos".

He numbly accepted her hug, feeling nothing, nothing at all, no comfort, no warmth, nothing; a scaring feeling. His eyes were lost outside the window, the sunlight turning into the reddish shade of the sunset.

Sunset? Did he sleep all day long?

"You slept a lot, and we didn't wake you up since you needed rest", Doc Martin noticed his look and his surprise, answering his unsaid question.

Sunset. Dinner. Daisy! She was waiting for him at the farm.

* * *

"Why isn't he here, yet?", Daisy walked in the living room as an animal in a cage, stopping only to check the clock on the wall, then having a sigh and starting again her wandering. "And he doesn't answer to the phone in his apartment. I'm really starting to worry, uncle Jesse", another brief stop, her eyes glancing at the clock, "maybe I should try to call him on C.B.".

She headed to the kitchen and she took the C.B.'s receiver, "This is Daisy Duke calling Enos Strate. Enos, sugar, where are you?"

A sort of buzzing came out the receiver then Rosco's voice erupted from it, "Daisy Duke. You're the one I thought knowing where that dipstick is. He hasn't come to work, this morning. I called him but he didn't answer, and his car is not parked at the Boarding House. So, I suppose he's at the Institute, even if it's not his day off. Boss is really angry. That dipstick, Boss is goin' to fire him if he doesn't show up with a darn GOOD reason for his not doin' his duty".

Daisy's mouth opened wide; she was speechless, she was shocked, and she was worried. NOW she had a REAL reason to worry for: Enos's NEVER acted like that, he's always been very scrupulous 'bout his work, no matter what (his work was above everything, his work was his life, his work meant so much to him she nearly was jealous because of it, but along her life she's learnt to accept it, not trying to push him against his duty nor to blame him for doin' his duty even when it meant to go "against" her family).

The phone ringing in the living room and uncle Jesse's voice wake her up from her shocked state.

"This is Jesse Duke speakin'"

She walked to the living room, standing near uncle Jesse the same way as Bo and Luke, all three cousins now around their uncle.

"Enos!", uncle Jesse's shoulders stiffened and his niece and nephews came even closer him, "Enos, where are you, boy? Everything's OK?"

A deep silence filled the room as uncle Jesse's opened his eyes wide, "What does it mean you don't know where you are? In the middle of nowhere? Enos… please", uncle Jesse frowned, "What… uh… Miss Kate?"

Miss Kate? Who's Miss Kate? Daisy and her cousins looked each other, and Daisy realized that something was wrong, really wrong with Enos. Her heart raced.

* * *

He felt as in the middle of nowhere, in that Institute's hall, so empty to seem unreal since patients were having dinner. Standing in front of the phone, its receiver firmly in his hands and pressed against his ear, Enos tried to understand what's uncle Jesse was asking him, but he couldn't answer him, he simply couldn't, 'till Miss Kate took the receiver from his hands and he slowly crumpled on the floor as that receiver was what allowed him to stand.

Kneeling on the floor, his chest bent forward, his forehead against the wooden wall and his arms along his body, like an abandoned rag doll, he listened to Miss Kate's words.

"I'm Miss Kate. You don't know me, Mr Duke, I'm sorry to bother you. Enos's here at Ridge Institute, 'cause…", Miss Kate looked down at Enos' motionless shoulders, "… 'cause Rose Strate died". Enos' shoulders had a gentle and brief shiver, and Miss Kate fought against the urgency to put the receiver down and to kneel by Enos's side, hugging him, but she knew perfectly well he needed an help from the real world, and it meant Dukes… and Daisy.

Her heart raced when Jesse Duke asked the obvious question and she had to answer him, "Suicide", her voice a whisper, her eyes fixed on Enos, her throat dried as Enos had another gentle shiver, his arms slowly moving to embrace himself.

"I think… I think it's better to wait 'till tomorrow, it's not safe to drive in a night like that, and I… and Enos couldn't stand if something happens to you on your way here", Miss Kate's worried eyes looked at the darkness outside, a strong wind shaking the Institute's windows; it was a night promising a violent blizzard, "Doc Martin and I are goin' to take care of him since your arrive".

Putting slowly down the receiver, Miss Kate had a deep sigh, Enos still crumpled on the floor near her, "Enos… please… I can't stand to see you this way, so…"

Steps coming closer and echoing in the empty hall interrupted her.

"I'm sorry, Miss Kate, but I need to talk to deputy Strate. I know it's not the best moment for it, but…"

The woman looked in surprise at Sheriff McGregor walking to her, again that picture in his hands.

"Only one question, only one, please", the sheriff knelt by Enos' side, "did you ever meet this man? Do you know if your mother… ehm… had an affair with this man?"

Enos slowly turned his head to the picture, and his heart skipped a beat as he fought against the urgency to shout: he perfectly knew that man, since that night, the man burying his face against his mother's chest and then turning to him when he opened the door of his parents' room, their eyes meeting for few seconds but enough to remember forever that face, and, even now, several years after, he could recognize him, a ghost coming out his nightmares. Did his mother still meet that man? When did they start to meet? When did they know each other? Maybe even before his birth...

... Maybe… was that man his real father? The doubt so well concealed in his heart woke up and became bigger and bigger, tearing his heart apart. He fought against the urgency to run away, and he whispered the obvious answer, "I never saw him, I'm sorry", then he turned away from that picture, his forehead still against the wall and his look down at the floor.


	10. A bad night

_"I sleep. I inhabit sleep firmly, willing it, wielding it, pushing away dreams, refusing, refusing. Sleep is my lover now, my forgetting, my opiate, my oblivion" _

_Audrey Niffenegger_

* * *

**A BAD NIGHT**

"Hurry up, uncle Jesse".

Daisy was waiting for her uncle near his truck, her impatience shown in every gesture: her nervous walking near the truck with her arms folded, her continuous sighing and shaking her head, despite her clear tiredness due to a sleepless night.

Uncle Jesse too had signs of a sleepless night on his face as he walked out the farm, and not only of a sleepless night but also of a hard fight to convince Daisy to wait 'till the morning to reach Ridge Institute as Miss Kate suggested him because of the blizzard.

Bo and Luke looked at their uncle and Daisy from the farm's threshold, still in their pajamas, their arms folded against the cold of that early morning.

"Uncle Jesse, tell Enos…", Bo stopped, what to say?, "… hug Enos in behalf of us", his voice cracking nearly imperceptibly, but not so imperceptibly to Luke who patted his younger cousin on his shoulder, nodding. After a long talk they decided to stay at the farm, well knowing their presence at the Institute could be embarrassing because of Enos' attitude to hide his deep emotions, especially pain, despite their long friendship, whereas uncle Jesse was someone who could soften Enos' pride (being a sort of father figure) and Daisy… was Daisy, the one who could come closer Enos more than anyone else, even when he showed all his introversion and pride, and, besides, it'd have been impossible to convince Daisy to stay at the farm waiting for uncle Jesse and Enos coming back from the Institute.

"It's two hours far away, and I'm afraid more than two hours because of the snow", Daisy closed the truck's door, sinking into the passenger's seat and closing her eyes, her anxiety radiating from her as a heavy fog.

"Enos is not alone, Daisy. Miss Kate said she and Doc Martin were taking care of him. She seemed very worried for Enos, and loving"

Daisy shrugged, "I don't know anything 'bout this Miss Kate", in her voice a touch of irritation, "Enos never talked of her. He needs US", then she looked outside the window, _"he needs ME"_, in her mind Enos crying on uncle Jesse's shoulder, under the rain, and then leaving the farm early in the morning without a word, _"and this time I won't let him go"._

Uncle Jesse drove silently, his mind still shocked because of Rose Strate's death, something really unexpected to him, in his ear Enos' sobs and his whispering his desire to have finally his mother back; by his side Daisy kept on looking outside the window, their time on the way to the Institute marked by her sighing every time they had to slow down because of the snow, her impatience so exasperated and exasperating uncle Jesse was afraid she could jump out the truck and run to the Institute by foot.

When he finally parked the truck in front of Ridge Institute, four hours after they left the farm, it was 10 a.m. Coming out the car, he looked at the scenery around him, the Ridge Mountains covered by snow and high pines and oaks surrounding a small green building; a peaceful scenery if that Institute hadn't been a psychiatric institute and if they hadn't been there because of Rose Strate's suicide.

Uncle Jesse walked to the Institute's door, Daisy by his side, still silent but clearly nervous, her impatience now tied by worrisome and fear; the snow's crunching under their shoes was the only sound around them.

* * *

Miss Kate looked at the young woman and at the white bearded man entering the hall: Daisy Duke and Jesse Duke ("uncle Jesse", using Enos' words) for sure; even if it was the first time she met them she had no doubt 'bout it, they were exactly as Enos told her.

Daisy Duke was a beautiful woman, so it wasn't surprising if Enos loved her so much, a beautiful but fierce and stubborn woman; a simple look and Miss Kate perfectly understood Daisy's temper: the way she was looking at the hall around her showed a mix of impatience, curiosity, worrisome, stubbornness and, at the same time, sweetness.

"Daisy and Jesse Duke?", her heart beating fast she walked to them, "I'm Miss Kate, Kate Wilson".

Jesse Duke took his black hat off and he held out his hand, "Nice to meet you, Miss Kate, and thanks for … everything you did for Enos".

Miss Kate shook hands with the middle-aged man, realizing, because of his sweaty hand, how much he was shocked 'bout Rose Strate's death; she felt a sudden sense of compassion for that man, so out of place in that Institute, and so strange in his Sunday best whereas Enos described him always wearing overalls and a baseball red cup. He seemed dressed for a funeral, and, somehow, it was a funeral.

Daisy stood by her uncle side, her arms folded and her look down at the floor; she wore boots, blue jeans, a pink shirt and a heavy black jacket: a simple outfit, for sure more simple and innocent than a lot of outfits (perfectly described by Enos) she used when she worked at the Boar's Nest.

"Where's Enos? How's…?"

Miss Kate wasn't surprise of Daisy's sudden question and of her direct manners.

"He's sleeping", she glanced at Daisy's surprised face and she prevented any further questions, "he's still sleeping because he had … a bad night. He needs rest", then she walked away, toward the long corridor heading to Doc Martin's office and Enos' room, letting Daisy and Jesse Duke follow her, "and… before you see Enos, you should talk with Doc Martin".

She didn't want to answer to any other question. Pretty difficult to explain how, during the night, Enos managed to come out the Institute (being she, Doc Martin and nurses busy because of a patient's bad crisis), nearly getting lost in the blizzard and nearly freezing to death in the glade where his mother and that man killed themselves; the image of Enos huddled in the snow, in the spot where only few hours before there was the black car containing Rose's and her man's bodies, made Miss Kate shiver. If they hadn't found him he'd have died; Miss Kate felt all her responsibilities: she didn't hear Rose coming out the cabin, and she didn't take care of Enos enough to avoid his running away from the Institute during a blizzard.

* * *

Huddled under the blankets, Enos' naked body trembled during sleep; he trembled then he calmed down, in a continuous and ravaging cycle, on his skin still the feeling of the snow, in his ears still the sound of the violent wind, in his eyes still the shadows of pines and oaks around him, in his hand still the feeling of the black and yellow tape.

His mind floated between a deep sleep (a total darkness without any dream), nightmares (making him tremble) and a state of half conscience. In his half conscience mixed with his nightmares he remembered Miss Kate's calling him at the Boarding House, his driving to the Institute in a sort of hypnosis, his arrival, Sheriff McGregor, the picture of that man, Miss Kate's voice as she talked to uncle Jesse by phone, the feeling of the wooden wall against his forehead, the yellow and black tape in his hand, a black car, trees, snow, wind, all mixed together, everything twirling 'round him and giving him dizziness.

He wanted only to fall in that total darkness, a sleep without dreams, a long and deep sleep alike death.

* * *

"He's sleeping", Doc Martin slowly opened the door, "He needs rest, … and warmth. So it's better to let him stay under the blankets"

Daisy looked carefully at the bed, a figure completely huddled under the blankets, his head too, so, if Doc Martin hadn't said that figure was Enos, she'd have thought he could be anyone else; she was shocked 'bout Doc Martin talking of Enos' escape from the Institute and of its possible consequences if they hadn't found him. Doc Martin was honest, he sincerely apologized for his oversight and he told them 'bout Rose Strate's departure; Daisy remembered (and she'd have remembered it forever), any words of Doc Martin, sitting in his office before to enter Enos' room and listening to any detail 'bout Rose Strate's death, details ravaging to Daisy despite Doc Martin was really careful, avoiding anything useless and too much painful; details ravaging to uncle Jesse too since Daisy didn't remember the last time uncle Jesse was so silent and thoughtful.

Miss Kate, sitting on a chair near Enos' bed, stood up as Doc Martin opened the door, and, again, Daisy wondered who that woman was and what's her relationship with Enos: she wasn't a nurse since she didn't dress nurses' uniform, and, from Doc Martin's words, Daisy knew Rose Strate lived, before her death, in a cabin with Miss Kate, and it meant Miss Kate was a patient. So, why was she taking care of Enos? Why did SHE call the farm instead of a nurse or Doc Martin? Why did Enos never talk 'bout that woman?

Daisy slowly walked to Enos' bed, looking down at that sort of sad bundle, his only sign of life being a slow breathing and sometimes a shiver. She sat on the bed near that figure and she gently rested her hand where presumably there was his head, but she didn't draw away the blankets, fearing to wake him up… and fearing to see his pain through his features. Along the last years (a couple of years), and in particular along the last months, she was realizing how much she cared for Enos, how much she was hurt by his pain, how strong was her affection for him: she changed her way to relate to him (becoming more sweet and less teasing), she stopped to flirt with any stranger coming to Hazzard and to date the kind of men she used to date (good-looking and self-confident men, but somehow vapid, or "fake", or selfish), she changed her outfit when she wasn't working at the Boar's Nest as she wanted to be more innocent and simple to anyone's eyes, to HIS eyes, she started to act as she was trying to deserve his gentle and innocent love. After their nearly wedding she started to think seriously of her relationship with Enos, wondering why she decided to marry him all in a sudden that day and why she decided to pursue that idea even when there was no more apparent reason for it (being Enos cleared from false charges); she started to try to understand that strange sense of disappointment overwhelming her after Enos decided to postpone wedding, as she was losing something she was longing for; she started to imagine her life as Enos' wife, and… thinking 'bout it, she started to lust for him. And, finally, she realized what's that mix of affection, lust, worrisome, sense of loss: it was love. But, since Rose Strate's arrival, she had no chance to talk to him 'bout it (she thought that, talking to him 'bout it at that time, being his self-confidence totally gone because of his mother, he'd have thought it was her attempt to cheer him up, he'd have doubted of her sincerity); nor she had the chance, and the willing, to talk 'bout it to anyone else.

Whereas Daisy sat on Enos' bed, uncle Jesse sat on the chair where Miss Kate was sitting before they entered the room, and now the woman was standing near the wall, looking at Daisy, a mysterious and deep look; "While you wait he wakes up, would you like something warm to drink, or something to eat? A cup of coffee, a tea, sandwiches? There's a café in the basement, and I could bring you something", her voice broke the silence in the room.

Daisy realized she didn't eat anything for breakfast, she didn't even eat anything for dinner, and her stomach's grumbling was her answer to Miss Kate's offer; she blushed because of that physical onset of her weakness, especially in front of that woman, a woman she felt somehow as an intruder into her relationship with Enos, a relationship she's always thought like something exclusive and closed.

"I suppose you didn't eat anything before to leave the farm, this morning", Miss Kate smiled sweetly, "and I think it wouldn't be fair to faint when Enos wakes up, 'cause he needs you in your… plain mind".

Daisy nodded, her head down and her cheeks burning because of her embarrassment, "Yeah, in effect… I'm a bit hungry"

"Go to the café with Miss Kate, Daisy, eat something, relax, and bring me some sandwiches and a cup of coffee when you come back, please. I'll wait for you here, it's pointless to stay here both of us since Enos seems sleeping really deeply, now".

Daisy looked in surprise at her uncle, but, from his features, she realized how much he was tired and distressed, so she decided to avoid any further fight (the fight they had the previous evening was enough); besides, he was right, Enos seemed to sleep deeply and it was pointless to stay there looking at him, both of them, and, moreover, uncle Jesse was the best one to be by Enos' side as he woke up, the most wise and the most mature, whereas, … how was she thinking to face Enos? SHE had hoped Rose Strate disappeared leaving finally Enos alone, SHE had hated Rose Strate; Enos cried on her uncle's shoulder, not on HER shoulder; her heart heavy because of her sense of guilty and inadequacy, Daisy stood up and she walked outside the room, following Miss Kate and trying to wash away that pesky feeling focusing on a new thought: she had now the chance to know who that woman was and 'bout her relationship with Enos.

Who's Miss Kate? Daisy was determined to know everything 'bout that sphinx, and, through Miss Kate, 'bout Enos and his staying at the Institute (something he's always hidden to anyone).


	11. Reflections and revelations

_"Two people in love, alone, isolated from the world, that's beautiful."_

_Milan Kundera_

* * *

**REFLECTIONS AND REVELATIONS**

Sitting at a solitary table in the little café sited in the Institute's basement, Daisy ate silently her sandwiches, her eyes down after her starting boldness eclipsed in front of that sphinx. After she ate her sandwiches, she sipped her hot tea whereas Miss Kate was looking at her, only a cup of coffee in front of her. She wanted to give up, walking away, buying a cup of coffee and some sandwiches for her uncle and go back to him… and Enos (was he still sleeping?). Her starting boldness was changing into a strange feeling: anxiety? Fear? Fear… to know? To know… what?

"I know Enos since he came here for the first time", Miss Kate's words stopped Daisy's imaginative escape before she could put it into practice, so she remained sitting, freezing; the older woman looked up at the ceiling as she was trying to visualize the scene, keeping on talking, "He was 15 years old. Since then, he was very shy and offish, with no self-confidence but with a gold heart". The image of Enos coming to the Institute for the first time disappeared from the ceiling and Miss Kate looked at Daisy, directly in her eyes, "He came here with his mother and his uncle Opie. He's never had a good relationship with his uncle… and aunt".

Miss Kate's words were a sort of slap to Daisy, as that woman was trying to let her know she knew Enos pretty well, both 'bout his character and 'bout his family. Daisy's cheeks burnt because of rage and jealousy, but that woman surprised her, again, as she was able to read into her mind.

"Daisy, I don't want to be your enemy, I don't want you see me as an enemy, but as an ally. Enos loves you in a deep and indestructible way, and maybe you don't even understand its complexity and strength. Now that his mother died, this place is… forbidden to him, and I belong to this place, so I can't help him any more, but…", Miss Kate took a deep breath, "before to let him go, I HAVE to know you love him enough to save him and to take care of him… out there. So, do you love him?"

Daisy started, in shock: it was the first time someone asked her, so directly, if she loved Enos. The last time she talked 'bout it, it wasn't a question but a statement. _"But… you don't love him"_;Bo's words and his surprised and worried eyes came to her mind, as everything she and her family said that day. But that day… she didn't know, yet, exactly her feelings, and her doubts and confusion brought confusion in her family too.

Now, instead, "Yeah, I love him, I have no doubt 'bout it. I needed a lot of time to understand it, but now I'm sure 'bout my feelings, and I won't leave him alone", she relaxed after her words, it was the first time she was saying it publicly (even if to a stranger).

Miss Kate smiled, "I knew it. Enos talks a lot 'bout you, I think I know everything of you, your stubbornness, your sweetness, your… flirts and crushes", she sniggered innocently as she saw Daisy's blushing, no malice in her laugh, "and, along the years and thanks to Enos' talking, I've had the feeling you really care for him, and, after your nearly wedding, I started to think that you love him. If you hadn't loved him, you wouldn't have asked him to marry you, nor you would've kept on this idea after he was cleared from any charge".

Daisy blushed, both for embarrassment and, somehow, for rage: did Miss Kate really know everything 'bout her and Enos? Did Enos really tell her everything, really everything? Why? Why did Enos, usually so discrete 'bout his inner feelings, talk to her so openly, more openly than to anyone else? She was surprised, and stunned; she decided to come to the café with Miss Kate in order to find out as more as possible 'bout that woman and, through that woman, 'bout Enos's staying at the Institute, and she was finding out that woman knew everything 'bout HER. Enos talked to Miss Kate 'bout everything of her, but he's never talked to her 'bout Miss Kate, so Daisy felt like rejected, left out from the exclusive relationship between Enos and that woman: was it really possible Enos had an exclusive relationship with someone else than HER, keeping this relationship secret to anyone?

Her shocked was clearly written over her face, since Miss Kate shook her head and she kept on talking.

"Daisy, Enos has nobody besides you and your family, he's… lonely. So, I've been a sort of safety valve for him, 'cause I've been the only one he could talk to 'bout you. Do you think he could talk 'bout you… to you… or to your family? Besides, I live in this sort of world outside the world, so I've been the best pix where Enos hid his inner thoughts and feelings, without the risk of bein' betrayed, a way to let off steam... without bein' embarrassed of it, due to my condition, to my living here, and to my knowing his mother. There's no need I explain to you Enos' personality: you know perfectly well how much reserved he could be, always hiding things under his sweetness and shyness, feeling ashamed of showing his weakness and pain".

Daisy was speechless, something pretty unbelievable for anyone knowing her. And another amount of shock hit her as Miss Kate kept on speaking.

"I think it's time you say Enos you love him… 'cause… he doesn't know it, yet, and he has the right to know it. He deserves it. He can't keep on thinking you care of him as a friend, a close friend but a friend, a friend… you somehow have pity of"

Daisy swallowed against the lump in her throat, in Miss Kate's words she could know a bitter truth: she never told Enos she loved him, he openly confessed his love to her, that day on the canoe (after her direct question), but she didn't say the words he was waiting for. A sudden awareness and a ravaging doubt grasped Daisy's heart.

"Miss Kate, did Enos tell you… everything 'bout the day we nearly got married? Everything? I mean… did he tell you 'bout his decision to postpone the wedding because of… the hives?". The doubt she had since that day: what's the sense to stop something so important because of the hives? No matter what the reason of the hives was. Besides, did hives can really be caused by something like "too much happiness"? After that day, she wanted to talk to Doc Appleby 'bout it, find a way to cure Enos' hives, bein' in a sort of psychological arousal that prevented her to forget that idea of marrying him, wanting to find a way to come to an end, as soon as possible, hating the idea of waiting even a day more; but Enos told her he was his problem, HE and Doc Appleby had to find a way to stop the hives, he asked her to be patient, so he cold her impatience and temper, and they simply stopped talking 'bout it, both hiding their doubts but keeping on dating as a sort of boyfriend and girlfriend, 'till Rose Strate's arrival.

Miss Kate smiled, a knowing smile, "Yeah. Did you finally realize it? I bet that day he ate a rhubarb cake before the wedding. He has some problems with rhubarb… hives, for example", she winked, and Daisy, definitively, knew the truth, the bitter truth: Enos stopped the wedding on purpose because he thought she didn't love him, so, her attempt to show him she loved him (an unconscious attempt, since that day she wasn't still aware of her love) was vain, 'cause he needed her plain confession, nothing else.

It was time for her plain confession.

* * *

Cooter entered the farm, looking at Bo and Luke and scratching his head, in confusion, "Did it really happen? I mean… everyone's talking 'bout it, in town".

Bo sighed glancing at Luke, "Yeah. Uncle Jesse and Daisy are at Ridge Institute, right now". The blonde cousin looked outside the window; it was 3 p.m. and nor Daisy nor uncle Jesse called the farm, probably too much busy to calm Enos down. Bo's heart stirred, in his mind the image of Enos crying on uncle Jesse's shoulder. At that time, Rose Strate was still alive. And now? How's Enos?

"It seems…", Cooter looked down, a bit embarrassed, so strange for someone who seemed unable to be embarrassed of anything, "it seems… she committed suicide, a double suicide, with a man, her… ehm… lover"

"WHAT?", Bo's and Luke's surprise spurted in unison.

"Yeah. A sheriff came to the town with the picture of that man. He wanted to know if anyone knew him… and if anyone knew 'something 'bout his relationship with Rose Strate".

"And… did he find something 'bout that man?"

Cooter looked at Luke, even more embarrassed, "Uh… yeah. Rosco knew him, he knew him pretty well as soon as he saw the picture. He was… a ATF's agent; he stayed here in Hazzard nearly 30 years ago, for several years, fighting against… moonshiners… but Rosco didn't know anything 'bout a possible relationship between that man and Rose Strate"

Luke took a deep breath, now starting to understand Cooter's wariness, "Do you know his name?"

Cooter nodded, "Andrew Salinger"

That name resounded in the silent farm, a name already resounded in that farm as a sort of nightmare, so many years before. Luke knew that name pretty well; he was the ATF's agent chasing his parents, along with Bo's and Daisy's, the night they had the accident that killed them all. It meant that everyone, in Hazzard, was now talking 'bout Rose Strate death (and her way to die) and 'bout her relationship (since then?) with an ATF's agent, the one responsible of the worst tragedy ever in Duke' family, and not only in Duke's family; it meant that the "Hazzard Gazette" would've talked 'bout it for a long time; it meant… other pain for Enos due to his sensitiveness, his pride and his attitude to feel guilty for everything, and, for sure, he'd have felt guilty and ashamed because of his mother's (extramarital, since then?) relationship with the man killing, even if accidentally, his best friends' parents.

* * *

Daisy's entered Enos' room, she put a cup of coffee and a bag with some sandwiches on the little night table, for her uncle, and, without even saying a word, she took her boots off and, despite uncle Jesse's stunned look, she slid into Enos' bed, covering her head with the blankets, so entering his world, and she wrapped her arms around his naked and still asleep body.

"_I won't leave you alone, Enos. I'm goin' to show you, and to tell you, how much I love you. Your worst days are over, now, don't worry, 'cause I'm by your side"_

* * *

**Just a couple of things 'bout this chapter:**

**- the rhubarb cake and Enos' way to stop the wedding on purpose: I know, I've already used this idea in a previous fanfic, but I'm very fond of this idea, LOL**

**- 'Bout Bo's, Luke's and Daisy's parents: in the show it's said they died in a car wreck (I suppose in the same wreck, not in different ones), but it's not said exactly why. I think it's believable it happened in a chasing, being them moonshiners. So, I hope the "little" surprise at the end of the chapter may be... interesting and believable due to what's said in the show.**


	12. The cure

_"Nothing can cure the soul but the senses, just as nothing can cure the senses but the soul."_

_Oscar Wilde_

* * *

**THE CURE**

In the darkness under the blankets, Daisy heard uncle Jesse standing up, walking to the door and leaving the room, somehow understanding her niece's needing to stay alone with Enos, and supporting it. Did he already know her niece's real feelings? Or did he simply respect her need to intimacy with Enos in those circumstances? Daisy couldn't understand what was in her uncle's mind, but for sure she trusted his judging, and uncle Jesse's trusted hers.

Spooning him, her forehead pressed against his back between his shoulder blades, she slid her hand along the external side of his thigh, up to his hip and flank, to find out, with surprise, he was totally naked. Her sudden embarrassment was pushing her outside the bed when he gently shivered, so she instinctively wrapped her arms around his waist, adhering to him and holding him tight; she closed her eyes, adapting her breathe to his one and trying to sleep, making up for the previous sleepless night.

Even through her clothes she could feel his skin's coldness, despite the blankets; she prayed to warm him up (both his body and his soul), to cure him, and, before to realize it, she fell asleep.

* * *

In the hall, uncle Jesse was silently listening to Luke's words, the phone's receiver pressed against his ear.

Andrew Salinger. The man committing suicide with Rose Strate was … that man, the agent responsible for his brothers' and sisters-in-law's death, Bo's, Luke's and Daisy's parents. Rose Strate's lover was an ATF's agent, THAT agent.

After a long talk with Luke, he put down the receiver and he walked to a couch, sinking into it, caressing his beard thoughtfully. For sure everybody in Hazzard was talking 'bout it: Rose Strate's suicide was a pretty shock, it was enough without this tricky addition.

"Everything's OK, Mr Duke?"

Miss Kate sat near uncle Jesse, waking him up from his thoughts.

He slowly turned to Miss Kate, "What does Enos know 'bout that man? The man who …"

The woman by his side immediately caught his serious tone, looking at him with worrisome, "He doesn't know who is; sheriff McGregor showed him a picture of that man, but Enos said he's never seen him".

Uncle Jesse nodded, caressing his beard, again, before to talk, "Does he know that man's name?"

Miss Kate understood something was wrong, something really wrong, and she shivered, "No. Sheriff McGregor didn't say anything 'bout that man", she paused, taking a deep breath, "What's the problem? There's a problem… am I right?"

"A big problem, Miss Kate", uncle Jesse averted his eyes from her, "that man… was an ATF's agent, the one who killed Bo's, Luke's and Daisy's parents; it was an accident, yeah, a car's wreck… but… it happened because of him. It happened nearly 30 years ago. It was his duty… I know, he was a cop and we were moonshiners, so, I shouldn't be strict against him but… I've lost my family because of him. And, for sure, I'm not happy knowing 'bout him and Rose Strate 'cause…", he stopped, shaking his head, "… at that time there were rumors 'bout them two, only rumors, I've never seen anything suspicious 'bout them, but… now… this is somehow a proof those rumors were… not only rumors"

"Oh my God", Miss Kate's voice was a whisper, "what will Enos do when he'll know 'bout it?"

Uncle Jesse had another big sigh, "It'll be very difficult for Enos to accept it, but… I promise you we're going to find a way to make him understand he's not responsible of his mother's mistakes; he's nothing to do with that man"

* * *

She didn't know how much she's slept when his soft sobs woke her up. His shoulders were trembling as that evening, when he cried on uncle Jesse's shoulder; Daisy held him tighter, his trembling transmitting to her body.

"Enos…"

She whispered his name against his back, again and again, her tone changing from a simple call to a prayer, but he kept on trembling and sobbing, 'till Daisy realized he wasn't hearing her, he didn't even know she was there: he was still sleeping, he was crying in his sleep.

After a time that seemed eternity to Daisy, he calmed down, his sobs changing into a deep and regular breathe, and, few after, he moaned, coming out his nightmares. His stiffening and his holding his breathe made Daisy realized he was awake and now aware of her presence.

"Enos…", she called him, in her voice a tone both of worrisome and discomfort realizing his surprise to find her in his bed, hugging him tight from behind.

"Daisy… what are you doin'… here?", his breathe became heavier and heavier, as usual when he was nervous.

"Uncle Jesse and I came here as soon as possible after we knew 'bout… We are so sorry, Enos", she didn't leave him, her forehead pressed against his back and her arms wrapped around his waist.

"I… I didn't mean… here at the Institute. I mean… here in my bed, Dais, and… possum on a gum bush, Dais, I'm… NAKED", he squeaked nervously, huddling up as a hedgehog.

His clear discomfort made Daisy blush, so she slipped out the bed, sitting down near him and covering her face with her hands, "I'm so… embarrassed, Enos. I'm sorry… you were sleeping, and Doc Martin told us everything 'bout last night, and Miss Kate told me… I only wanted to be by your side"

The bundle near her moved gently and finally Enos' head came out the blankets.

"Did you talk to Miss Kate?"

Daisy didn't understand if in his voice there was surprise, worrisome or sadness. She slowly lowered her hands and she looked at him, a knife piercing her heart when she saw his red and tired eyes, his ruffled hair, his dry lips and a faint beard (grown in the last couple of days).

"Uh… sorry, it's not my best… look", catching the surprise on her face, he lowered his eyes trying to smile, a sad and tired smile.

"_He can't keep on thinking you care of him as a friend, a close friend but a friend, a friend… you somehow have pity of…_ _You know perfectly well how much reserved he could be, always hiding things under his sweetness and shyness, feeling ashamed of showing his weakness and pain"._

Another knife pierced Daisy's heart as she remembered Miss Kate's words, recognizing in his way to smile and to avert his eyes from her no more only his shyness and clumsiness (as she's thought for a long time), but his shame and pain of being "someone to have pity of", his pride dramatically crashed.

She forced herself to remain sitting, chocking back her desire to fling her arms around his neck and to kiss him: she wanted to show him her love, but, deep in her heart, she knew she had, first, to talk to him 'bout her feelings, in order he didn't misunderstand, again, her gestures, seeing not love but pity in those gestures.

She sighed deeply and she looked at the night table, "Hey, sugar, I think you need to drink some water", she stood up, she reached the table and she filled the glass on it with water, then she handed the glass to him. Looking at his trembling hand reaching the glass and at his thirst, for the umpteenth time Daisy's heart was pierced by a knife and her hand automatically reached his nape, "Enos, I want you to know…"

"You're finally awake, Enos"

Doc Martin entered the room with a smile, and Daisy had a step back, folding her arms and looking down at the floor, trying to hide her disappointment.

"Miss Daisy, I should talk to Enos, so… if you…"

"I'm goin' to wait in the hall", she nodded then she turned to Enos, smiling, "Bye sugar, see you".

When she closed the door, finally alone in the corridor, she burst out crying, silently: she cried for him, she cried for his tears.

* * *

"So, Enos is goin' to stay at the farm "till his mother's funeral", resting on his elbow, Bo turned to Luke who, lying down on his bed, was looking at the ceiling. Outside their room's window, a dark night hid everything, a winter and cold night, without moonlight.

"Yeah, uncle Jesse said that we have to", Luke sighed, "protect him from any rumors 'bout his mother and Andrew Salinger. He hasn't to know 'bout it from anybody but… us… after the funeral. Step by step, slowly. He's already enough shocked"

"Poor Enos. He doesn't deserve all this pain", Bo rolled on his back, looking at ceiling as his older cousin.

Silence filled the room, both cousins being lost in their thoughts, 'till Luke switched the light off, "It's better to sleep, Bo. Tomorrow Enos, Daisy and uncle Jesse will be back"

* * *

Lying down in Rose Strate's bed (in the bed where that woman slept when she was still alive), Daisy listened to uncle Jesse's gently snoring as he slept on the couch in the little living room of the cabin (where Enos slept so many times), whereas Miss Kate, in the bed near her one, slept silently. It gave her a strange feeling, a mix of nausea, confusion and disbelief.

Her mind was hopped up (as under a powerful drug's effect) 'cause of uncle Jesse's revelation 'bout the relationship between Rose Strate and Andrew Salinger, a thought that caused her rage (that woman could bring nothing but problems, even after her death) and worrisome (how could Enos react to that news? How tell him it without hurting him?). Besides, after Doc Martin entered Enos' room, she had no other chance to stay alone with him.

She couldn't sleep, no matter how much she tried, so she slowly got up; she knew what she needed and what she wanted to do.

When she was already outside the little cabin, Miss Kate's voice reached her; it was only a whisper, but perfectly audible in that silent night, the snow all around increasing that strange atmosphere: it was like walking in a sort of an enchanted world.

"Daisy, hug him and hold him tight. He needs it, and he'll need it, again and again".

Daisy turned to the woman, smiling and blushing at the same time, "Thanks, Miss Kate".

She walked to the Institute and then to Enos' room as in a dream, and fortunately the nurse at the hall's desk didn't even try to stop her, but she looked at her with an understanding smile.

Finally in Enos' room, she stopped, resting her back against the door and looking at the moonlight entering the window and drawing a lit square on the floor; little shadows were dancing in the square, and Daisy realized that, outside the window, it snowed.

She sat on the bed, caressing his ruffled hair.

When he opened his eyes, looking at her in confusion, she smiled, she gently put a finger on his lips, preventing him to talk, and then she replaced her finger with her lips for a brief but sweet kiss.

"I love you, Enos"

His eyes opened wide in shock, and even wider as she started to get undressed, the moonlight caressing her milky skin; with only her panties and her bra on, she crawled into his bed, completing her undressing and hugging him.

"Now, we are BOTH naked, Enos. I love you, I won't leave you and I'll always be by your side. Let me stay by your side and stop running away from me. Stop to be so scared and stop to underestimate yourself"

When he looked into her eyes, she saw his surprise slowing changing into doubt, then into a sad happiness (an happiness he was longing for but now contained by his pain) and finally into lust.

When he hugged her, kissing her deeply, Daisy felt all his excitement and all his desperation, all mixed together, an explosive mix, something pushing them in a new and undiscovered world, a world only for them, an enchanted world.


	13. Love fever

"_What happens when people open their hearts?"_

_"They get better"_

_Haruki Murakami_

* * *

**LOVE FEVER**

A thud outside the window, the sound of the snow falling from a tree's branch, woke Daisy up from her dreamy dulling; wrapped in a bathrobe, she looked at the landscape outside the little cabin, coming back to reality.

Everything seemed like a dream: only few hours before she was walking out there, in that enchanted world, the artificial light mixed with a faint moonlight showing her path to the Institute; only few hours before she was looking at the snow's shadows dancing in the moonlight on the floor of Enos' room, a moonlight strangely intense in a night like that, when outside it started snowing (was that light real?); only few hours before she was undressing in that enchanted moonlight before crawling into Enos' bed; only few hours before…

Her skin burned, and it wasn't because of the hot water splashing on her when, few minutes before, she was taking her time having a shower in the little bathroom of the cabin, just come back from the Institute, the sunset's light now showing her path, her uncle and Miss Kate still sleeping… and Enos too; she couldn't stay with him, in that bed, 'till Doc Martin's (or someone else's) arrival: she wanted to, but she couldn't to. A brief note written on a sheet before to leave his room was the only proof showing him everything was real, it wasn't a dream.

His passion stunned her, as his desperation did: the way he touched and kissed her, his hands and his lips frantically looking for her skin, every inch of her skin, his way to "hang on" her as a castaway on a lifeboat… everything stirred her heart, and at the same time it pleased her. He was passionate but sweet, ravenous of human touch and affection but gentle, joyful in satisfying his lust but desperate; he was, simply, febrile.

After their bodies' and souls' union he didn't say a word, but he simply fell asleep, probably exhausted of all those opposing emotions, love and death… pain and joy… desperation and salvation… moon and sun…

… fire and ice… and that fire, that fever, was still burning her skin.

"Daisy, are you OK?"

Uncle Jesse's voice, still sleepy, made her start; she looked at her uncle getting up from the couch, his eyes on her, his face worried as he stared at her.

"I'm still a bit… confused and stunned 'bout what's happened, uncle Jesse; it's like waking up after what you think a… strange dream… and realizing it wasn't a dream but reality". Not a lie, in effect, since it was her real feeling, but obviously she couldn't reveal exactly the nature of that strange dream/reality, letting uncle Jesse think of what was most obvious and innocent.

"It's normal, after… everything's happened, don't worry", Miss Kate entered the living room, a knowing but discreet smile on her face as she looked at Daisy, who looked down at her hands on the table, her cheeks burning, hoping uncle Jesse read only a sort of sadness mixed with rage in her blushing.

Fortunately, Miss Kate started talking to uncle Jesse 'bout pragmatic matters (availability of Rose Strate's body after the autopsy, funeral, way back home, and so on), and Daisy, feeling that uncle Jesse's eyes were no more on her, relaxed… just a bit, before her mind was driven into that talking, a talking dramatically remembering her what was going to happen, after that dreamy and pink (not, not pink but red) break.

She prayed that night was not only a dreamy and pink break; she prayed Enos's way to hang on her, to look frantically for her, was a sign of his new opening to her, a new path away from his previous pride and his being offish. Now he knew she loved him (erasing from his mind that pesky idea she had only pity for him), he wouldn't have run away from her any more.

But… she perfectly knew there's still an obstacle: Andrew Salinger and Enos' possible reaction when he'd have known 'bout that man and his mother.

* * *

She spent the morning wandering in the Institute as uncle Jesse and Miss Kate were still organizing pragmatic and unavoidable matters (fortunately, uncle Jesse, realizing her discomfort 'bout it, let her off it), and Enos… where was Enos?

Sitting on a couch in the Institute's hall, trying to focus her mind on a pointless article in a pointless magazine, her eyes continuously peeking in the direction of Doc Martin's office and of Enos's room, she finally saw Enos and Doc Martin coming out the doctor's office.

Enos had for sure a better look than the previous day: now combed and fresh-faced, but his eyes were still red and tired. When he saw her standing up and walking to him, he smiled sweetly: he didn't seem embarrassed or regretful for the previous night, but at ease; he was tired and sad because of what was obvious (nobody could forget the reason why they were in that Institute), but at same time somehow cheered.

Daisy walked to him, stopping in front of him and smiling, preventing herself to hug him in order not to embarrass him due to Doc Martin's presence, but, before even to realize it, she found herself wrapped in his arms, a tight and spontaneous hug from him, so surprising especially because so spontaneous and because of Doc Martin's presence: Enos wasn't usually the one looking for someone's else touch (especially her touch but anybody's else touch too), nor the one showing his affection so openly and, especially, in public.

He hugged her silently, for several minutes, and Doc Martin, silently, walked away, leaving them alone in that corridor.

When they finally walked to the hall, hand in hand, Miss Kate and uncle Jesse were looking at them, a totally different look on their face: moon and sun, awareness and surprise, happiness and worrisome.

A knowing (ally) woman and a stunned (over-protective) man.

A new possible obstacle beside Andrew Salinger, but no obstacle could scare Daisy, aware of how her hand perfectly fitted into Enos' warm hand.

* * *

Sitting in the truck, waiting for Enos coming out the Institute (after saying good-bye to Miss Kate, something that needed intimacy and respect), Daisy looked patiently outside the window, no more jealousy nor suspect toward that woman, but a bit of uneasiness toward her uncle, whose words were hanging into the little truck.

And those words finally fell down, but it was a soft falling, surprising her as those little shadows dancing in the moonlight.

"Daisy, I don't know what's happened between you and Enos yesterday, when I left you're sleeping into his bed, but… whatever happened, I want you to know I trust your choices: if you love that boy, stay by his side as more as possible; he needs it, now, only God knows how much he needs you… and any of us… and how much he'll need us. But… if you're not sure of your feelings, please, don't bite off more you can chew, 'cause it wouldn't be fair for any of you. Don't confuse affection and caring with… love… I mean… that kind of love between a man and a woman".

Daisy sighed; a lot better to face that discussion there, away from the farm, facing only uncle Jesse and then let him face Bo and Luke. Besides, it seemed her uncle didn't understand, yet, she's ALREADY bitten off more he could even imagine.

"I love him, uncle Jesse. NOW, finally, I know it. I've understood it, step by step, along the last months. Nobody can't change my mind 'bout it".

Uncle Jesse remained silent, and Daisy, her cheeks burning red, glanced at him to find out a satisfied smile on his face, a really satisfied and caring smile.

* * *

On the way back to Hazzard, nobody spoke.

Enos, sitting by Daisy's side, as soon as they left the Institute rested his head on Daisy's shoulder, turning his head and his torso to Daisy in order to bury his closed eyes against her neck and to wrap his arms around her waist, whereas Daisy gently caressed his nape.

Uncle Jesse kept on driving the truck, centering on the icy road and relaxing when all the snow around them finally disappeared. Sometimes he glanced at Enos and Daisy, unable to hide his surprise (a pleasant surprise, anyway) to Enos' way to look for physical touch, to look for Daisy so openly and without his previous shyness and clumsiness: it was a good sign. He couldn't help but wondering what EXACTLY happened the previous day between them, but deciding to trust his niece's words 'bout her love for Enos: if she loved him, what happened between them (even, maybe, THAT thing) wasn't his business, even if the idea of THAT thing awoke his natural over-protection and jealousy (like a father for his daughter, a daughter always too much young in his mind). He remembered all previous Daisy's crushes (unbelievable and sometimes stunning crushes), well knowing he couldn't hide to himself probably THAT thing had already happened (and his stomach, at this though, burned), so, the idea of Daisy finally finding a man to love, and that man being Enos (a man who'd have never hurt Daisy, a man who'd have done anything for Daisy) was a pleasant and soothing idea. If there was a man uncle Jesse could desire as Daisy's husband (being Daisy in love with him, and not driven by strange and confusing feelings), that man was Enos.

Hazzard. When they finally arrived to the town uncle Jesse held his breath: Enos couldn't know 'bout his mother and Andrew Salinger, not yet, not before the funeral. Step by step. He couldn't permit Enos found out 'bout it; he had to protect him from Hazzard's rumors, in the most obvious way.

"Enos, boy, I think it'd be better for you to stay at the farm for a while. I don't want you to stay at the Boarding House, alone, chewing over what's happened".

Not moving his head away from Daisy's shoulder, Enos gently nodded, and uncle Jesse sighed in relief, his eyes meeting Daisy's ones, a knowing and caring look.

When the truck parked in front of the farm, Bo and Luke immediately came out, as they were waiting for them; and, in effect, they were waiting for them, with a mix of impatience, worrisome and pain.

There was no need of words: as soon as Enos came out the truck, they hugged him, and, surprisingly, Enos didn't freeze nor he seemed embarrassed, but he returned their hug.

Bo and Luke, after that hug, looked at each other and then at their uncle, in their eyes the same surprise, and their surprise grew even more when, few after they entered the farm, Enos sat on the couch, Daisy by his side, their position the same they had inside the truck.

With a gentle clearing his throat, a meaningful look and a brief nod uncle Jesse let Bo and Luke understand he had to talk to them, so they silently walked outside the farm: it was better they knew there was a new balance inside the farm, a new relationship, since, if uncle Jesse was over-protective on Daisy, Bo and Luke were even more over-protective than their uncle. But, since Enos was their best friend, they'd have enjoyed this new relationship the same way their uncle did, or even more.

If Daisy loved Enos (and now they knew she did), and if Enos related to Daisy in that sweet and natural way, it was a good sign, especially in that moment.

But... his silence (no word from him during their way back from the Institute nor at the farm) and a strange fire in his eyes, a febrile look, weren't so soothing signs, and they knew it too.


	14. A very bad day

_"Again and again I will suffer; again and again I will get back on my feet. I will not be defeated. I won't let my spirit be destroyed"_

_Banana Yoshimoto_

* * *

**A VERY BAD DAY **

A pale sun entered the building as the Pastor talked 'bout beloved Rose Strate to a crowded church, crowded not because of people's love for the decedent but more because of people's affection for the decedent's son, their beloved deputy; crowded for simple curiosity, too.

Enos stood still in his black clothes (everything black… shoes, trousers, tie, jacket… except for a white shirt), his head down, the feeling of people's eyes piercing his body as thousands of little icy needles, his right hand, firmly squeezed into Daisy's hand, the only part of his body spared from that cold; a shy warmth radiated from his hand along his forearm, but that warmth was not enough to fight against the cold gripping his flesh and his heart.

"_When we are troubled by life, we need to turn to others (friends, family, church) and to God". _

The Pastor's words echoed inside the building, or, at least, they seemed echoing to Enos, who couldn't distinguish every single word but only confused sounds.

"_We can't make it on our own; we need support…and support is available"._

Daisy squeezed even more Enos' hand, and the warmth rose to his shoulder. He closed his eyes and he remembered Miss Kate's words when they parted: "Daisy loves you, Enos. You're not alone. Hang on her. Don't give up and everything will be OK. Relate to Daisy and Dukes… and to me, if you'll want to call me, some day".

"_We try to bear our burdens alone, to carry that weight, which can lead to confusion and panic"._

Confusion. Everything happened in the last two days, since his coming back from the Institute, was confused in his mind. He's stayed at Dukes' farm, and he barely remembered what happened: he slept (a lot), he ate (not so much) and he talked (just "yeah", "no", thanks"; he didn't remember anything else 'bout his conversations, anyway). He barely noticed Bo and Luke temporary absence when they went to the Institute to get his car back (the day he came back with uncle Jesse and Daisy he wasn't for sure in condition to drive for several hours on an icy road, and, in effect, he didn't even try to ask to drive his car back to Hazzard… in effect, he simply forgot 'bout his car, totally forgot). He was barely aware of the time spent at the funeral home, staring at his mother's casket.

The only thing he was totally aware of was Daisy's presence by his side, always: her scent, her touch, her hand squeezing his one, her neck where he liked to bury his face, her shoulder where he liked to rest his head, her tiny waist as he wrapped his arms around it.

He was aware of Bo's, Luke's and uncle Jesse's presence too, a quite and not intrusive, but sweet, presence, as they've decided, somehow, to let Daisy play a "major role" as his support. He wondered if they knew what happened between him and Daisy at the Institute, if they knew how much their relationship was different from the past, if they knew he and Daisy were now a couple, psychologically… and physically.

He didn't talk to Daisy 'bout what happened (he didn't talk 'bout anything, in effect), nor she did, but there was no need of words. A gentle touch from her was enough to remember him their new relationship, her gentle touch was his lifeboat (his dream) in that cold and agitated sea (his nightmare).

When Daisy moved, he opened his eyes and he realized the function was ending, and it was time to go to the cemetery, finally, to end that… thing. He only wanted to go back to the farm and to sleep… after the luncheon, another step to face before to sleep.

Words, words and words, the Pastor kept on talking.

The pale sun gone, a tiny and icy rain was now hitting him, adding to those little needles already piercing him, and now only his right hand was warm thanks Daisy, but that warmth wasn't radiating anymore along his forearm as he looked at his mother's casket descending in the grave.

When Daisy moved, again, he realized he was finally time to go back to the farm.

His mind lingered on a sort of fog, and his body was like a rag doll moved by invisible threads, and those threads, somehow, brought him to the farm, where he sank into the couch in the living room. Staring at the fireplace in front of him, his right hand still in Daisy's one, he answered politely to people offering their condolences, able to say only "yeah, thanks" and unable to hear anything.

Uncle Jesse, Bo and Luke were always around him, as they were guarding him: they let people come in, approach him and say what they had to say before to go away; they answered people instead of him, they let people talk and they prevented people to talk when they thought it was too much (Enos perfectly knew Dukes were trying to protect him from possible painful talks, but they didn't know that, in that moment, he could barely hear what people told him).

In his fog, at some point, he noticed, confusingly, a journalist of the "Hazzard's gazette" entering the farm, but uncle Jesse didn't let the journalist approach him; obviously "Hazzard's gazette" published something 'bout his mother's death, 'bout HOW she died: a pulpy new, a dark romance, something to write a lot of. As he tried to understand what's uncle Jesse was saying to that journalist, a sudden and brief attention to what's going 'round him, Bo gently patted on his back and Luke asked him if he wanted something to eat or to drink; he turned to Luke, averting his eyes from uncle Jesse and the journalist, "yeah, only a cup of tea, thanks", the only words he could say before to look at the fireplace, again abstracting from everything 'round him.

Finally, silence. Everyone gone, he could relax, he could go sleep.

He closed his eyes and he had a deep breath, when that image slapped him: that man burying his face against his mother chest. Who's that man? Did "Hazzard's gazette" write something 'bout him, or was he simply "Rose Strate's last lover"? Were Hazzard's people talking 'bout that man? Did someone know that man was his mother's lover since… then, since he was a child and maybe even before? Did someone think that man could be his father?

Despite the fireplace, despite there were no eyes on him, despite there was no more an icy rain hitting him, he started to shiver and thousand of icy needles pierced his flesh; a cold hand grabbed his throat and he felt as he was drowning. He fell on his knees in front of the fireplace, his left hand grasping the carpet and his right hand trying to untie his tie, frantically, as his breathe became quicker and quicker.

Then, everything became dark.

* * *

"So, now, uncle Jesse, how can we…?", Bo walked into the little kitchen, unable to stay sitting, "we managed to avoid he knew 'bout Andrew Salinger, today. But we can't avoid it forever; we should say it to him before someone else does, but … HOW? Did you see him? He was kinda… shocked, so how could we say to him something's goin' to shock him even more? Doc Appleby had to give him a sedative to calm him down!"

"We should wait… for a little while yet. Today was a very bad day for him, his mother's funeral, but things will go better and better. He needs some time to face...this thing", uncle Jesse caressed his white beard, thoughtfully.

"Yeah, but we'd say it to him before he goes back to his work. He won't stay at the farm forever, under our watch", Luke stood up, scratching his hair in frustration, "Enos is too much… sensitive… and frail; we've just had the proof of it, and it's what that woman, Miss Kate, told us when we went to the Institute for his car: take care of him. She seemed knowing him pretty well, especially his weakness", he rested his back against the cupboard, his arms folded.

"I trust Enos' ability to stand up, again. He's always stood up, after a bad fall", uncle Jesse sighed, _"'till now"._

"Besides, there's… that other thing", Bo finally, after his wandering into the kitchen, sat down, looking into his uncle's eyes, "people start to talk 'bout the possibility that… Andrew Salinger could be Enos' father. It seems he arrived to Hazzard the year before Enos was born, and people are wondering if his relationship with Rose Strate…", he hit the table with his hand, angry, "I can't stand this idea. Enos… the son of Andrew Salinger, the man who killed our parents?"

"Beauregard Duke, remember that Enos is Enos. We know him since he was a child, he grew up with you, Luke and Daisy. Even if…", uncle Jesse sighed, "even if he's Andrew Salinger's son, it doesn't change anything. He's an honest cop, he's our friend, he's Daisy's boyfriend now. He's someone of us, no matter what blood flows inside his veins".

"Uncle Jesse's right", Luke, still standing against the cupboard, nodded, "and we have to convince Enos 'bout it. Nothing's changed, for us, no matter who his father is. Knowing Enos, it won't be so simple, 'cause ol' Enos has the peculiar gift to blame himself for everything. Enos has NOTHING to do with our parents' death".

"Yeah, you're right. I'm sorry for my… reaction 'bout it", Bo looked down at his hands, "we'll have a hard work to do; especially Daisy".

The three men sighed, looking at the door of the guest's room, thoughtfully.

* * *

Under the blankets, Enos slowly opened his eyes. Was he at the Institute? Or at the farm?

He slowly remembered the funeral… and his sudden panic in front of the fireplace; it was like he was drowning, a painful way to die, then everything became confused. He barely recalled Doc Appleby coming to the farm; he didn't remember how he arrived to the bed.

He was still wearing his black trousers and his white shirt. Did he take off his tie, jacket and shoes all by himself? Or, more probably, did Doc Appleby and Dukes undress him? He didn't remember it.

Daisy.

He felt her body behind him, spooning him, like that day at the Institute.

He closed his eyes, recollecting in his minds everything 'bout that nigh: Daisy's skin so milky into the moonlight he thought he was a dream, Daisy under the blankets with him, both naked. He focused his mind on everything 'bout that night, but it didn't work to forget everything 'bout the present day.

He gently turned to her and he hugged her, murmuring her name, again and again, 'till that murmur changed into sobs. When she wrapped her arms around him, he buried his face against her chest keeping on crying, his hands frantically grasping her shirt, as he wanted to tear it up. After a long time spent crying (he couldn't say how much time, maybe only few minutes, but that cry dried all his energy out, or he simply had no much energy left), he suddenly fell asleep.

Nearly nothing of that night lasted in his mind, only a confused mix of tears and kisses, voracious kisses and burning tears. He dreamt of a tempestuous sea, of his fight against that sea and of his exhausting attempts to hang on to a lifeboat, to a lifeboat that had Daisy's scent.


	15. New revelations

_"The best way is not to fight it, just go. Don't be trying all the time to fix things. What you run from only stays with you longer. When you fight something, you only make it stronger."_

_Chuck Palahniuk_

* * *

**NEW REVELATIONS**

Standing in front of the kitchen's window, Daisy stared at Enos as he talked with Bo and Luke, three men chatting 'bout engines, their eyes focused on the General Lee, as so many times in the past. She sighed and she faintly smiled.

"Enos's out there?", uncle Jesse, standing in front of the sink, turned to his niece wiping his hands after doing the dishes.

"Yeah, he's talking with Bo and Luke. They seem busy with the General's engine"

"A good sign"

Daisy nodded. Three days passed since Rose Strate's funeral, and she couldn't forget Enos' reaction that evening, his panic and his pain; she couldn't forget his tears and his distress that night, his passing from an agitated sleep to a confused desperation, his looking for her body in those confused moments, between awake and sleep, between tears and desperate kisses. He spent the day after sleeping (or pretending to sleep, she couldn't say it for sure), and then, finally, he got up and he started to act in a nearly normal way: he started to eat something more, to talk and, surprisingly, to smile, faint smiles but smiles.

Looking at him with Bo and Luke, a scene so similar to many other scenes along the past years, her heart stirred, both with relief but with worrisome too: he didn't know 'bout Andrew Salinger, yet, and, now he seemed recovering from his terrific grief, he had to face something that could shock him, again.

They couldn't wait: they knew he had to come back to his work (Boss granted him only one week off after the funeral), and they had to talk to him BEFORE he left the farm, BEFORE someone else talked to him. A hard and ravaging task, but they couldn't avoid it.

Uncle Jesse came closer Daisy and he looked outside the window, in his mind her same thoughts.

"Daisy, I think it's time to talk to Enos 'bout… that thing", they referred to their task as "that thing", "I know the funeral was only three days ago, but he's goin' to come back to the boarding house and to his work… so we can't wait any more. He won't stay here at the farm forever, as a pea in a pod".

Daisy swallowed against the lump in her throat, "I know, uncle Jesse, I know".

Outside the window, Luke rested his arm on Enos' shoulders and he patted gently on Enos' belly, in a confidential and friendly way, men's way, telling something Daisy couldn't hear, and Enos, surprisingly, laughed briefly, blushing, as Bo and Luke looked at each other with a knowing smile: engines and women, men's usual chatting, a common scene of friendship between good old friends. Daisy wondered if she was the woman they were talking 'bout, the woman why Enos blushed, and, reflecting Enos' blushing, she blushed too; were her cousins teasing Enos 'bout his virginity (now lost, but they couldn't know it, could they?) like many times in the past? Pretty improbable, or she hoped so.

When she felt her uncle's hand resting on her shoulder and gently squeezing it, the fire on her cheeks disappeared as every speculation 'bout Bo, Luke, and Enos talking, and she looked at uncle Jesse coming out the kitchen.

"Enos, boy, we should… have a talk".

Uncle Jesse's voice was hoarse, and Daisy saw Bo and Luke freezing, looking at each other, their features tight; Enos too stiffened, looking at uncle Jesse and then at her, a silent question… or a calm resignation. She couldn't help but folding her arms around her waist, a sudden blast entering the kitchen's opened door and hitting her like a icy slap: it was still winter, a long and cold winter, after all, and spring seemed so distant.

She forced herself to smile at Enos, probably a pitiful smile, since Enos' eyes became more and more sad, then she headed to the living room, before her family's men (yeah, Enos was definitively a man of her family, now) came in, and she rekindled the fireplace: they needed warmth.

When Enos sat on the couch she sat by his side, catching his right hand and squeezing it; he answered to her touch, squeezing her hand and having a deep sigh. He knew, somehow, a pesky and painful talk was going to start: Daisy's by his side squeezing his hand, uncle Jesse sitting on the near armchair, and Bo and Luke standing near the fireplace, their eyes lost in the fire… everything was a sign of an upcoming painful talk, and Enos could guess 'bout what.

Uncle Jesse cleared his throat, "Enos… I think you should know 'bout… some rumors here in Hazzard".

A long silence filled the living room, uncle Jesse's words somehow resounding in the room as in cave, or it was Daisy's feeling as she held her breath, Enos' hand squeezing more and more her one.

"I supposed everyone is talking 'bout… how my mother… did it… and 'bout the fact she wasn't alone", Enos' voice was like a whisper, his eyes lost in the fireplace, or in something beyond the fireplace.

Uncle Jesse sighed, "Yeah. Before to go on, just a question: Enos, do you know something 'bout that man? Anything 'bout him?". Uncle Jesse remembered Miss Kate telling him Enos didn't know anything 'bout that man, but, despite he trusted that woman, he somehow felt Enos knew something: intuition, age, wisdom were his help, and they rarely failed.

And they didn't fail, not even this time.

Daisy felt Enos' body stiffening near her, in an inner fight, a long and exhausting fight before he decided to answer to uncle Jesse's direct question, "I saw him… only one time, when I was a child. He… was with my mother… and they were kissing. I don't know when they started to… meet, maybe even before my birth, maybe… he's my real father". After his words he relaxed, as he's just relieved himself of a heavy weight, a weight carried for a long time, a too long time.

Everyone in the living room looked at him in shock: did he know 'bout her mother and that man since he was a child? Did he see his mother kissing… a man different from his … reputed… father? Did he think Thomas Strate wasn't his real father? And did he hide it to everyone? It was surprising how shy and transparent Enos could sometimes totally stun them with his way to conceal things (facts and emotions) inside him so hermetically.

After the shock, uncle Jesse asked what everyone was wondering 'bout: "Did you know who he was? Did you know his name?... DO you know his name?"

Enos shook his head, "No. I remember his face since then, but… no, I didn't know his name, I don't know his name. It doesn't matter, anyway. He's… dead, and my mother too"

Dukes looked frantically at each other: he didn't know the man's identity, but he already thought that man could be his real father. Telling him who that man was like slapping him, now, but if they hadn't "slap" him, someone else would've did it, in a rougher way and with worse consequences.

Uncle Jesse threw the bomb; there was no choice, no other way to tell it.

"His name was Andrew Salinger"

And he waited the bomb's explosion.

Before the explosion, a silent implosion sucked all the air inside the farm; Enos' look, lost in the fireplace, changed from that sort of emptiness into a forced recalling (recalling where and when he heard that name), then into revelation (a terrific revelation: that name was an infamous name in Hazzard, and especially at Dukes' farm) and then into shock.

And finally, the explosion: Enos suddenly stood up, freeing his hand from Daisy's grasp, and he ran out the farm, Bo and Luke, after a brief moment of confusion, running after him.

So strange, Dukes running after a lawman instead of the usual contrary.

Fortunately he didn't run to his car, but he ran away the farm, along the dusky road and then into the wood, heading to nowhere, only running away, away from reality, Bo and Luke after him.

He ran as fast as possible, his lung in fire, his heart trying to jump outside his chest, every muscle of his body aching as if someone beat him with a baseball's bat. He could hear only the sound of the wind in his ears, and it prevented him to hear his name shouted by his friends behind him.

A problem with his right knee (an old injury from high-school) and his innate clumsiness made him stumble so Bo and Luke reached him, their hands grabbed his shirt and they pushed him to the ground: a ruinous fall of all of three of them.

Panting, Enos tried to stand up again, but Bo and Luke didn't allow him to run away again. Luke pushed him again to the ground, and he sat astride him, his knees firmly pressed against Enos' ribs, "Enos, STOP!, please".

Luke's tone, imperative but sweet at the same time, calmed Enos down; he closed his eyes and he stayed still under Luke's pressure, his breathing heavy.

"Luke, leave him". Daisy walked toward his cousins and Enos, and Luke, standing up, noticed she wore her tennis shoes instead of her boots, and she was panting after the long running; he remembered how may times they ran into those woods when they were children, trying to catch each other, Enos usually the one stumbling, and Daisy a tomboy who could run after them: at that time three boys and a tomboy having fun, now three old boys and a beautiful woman facing life.

Daisy knelt by Enos' side, caressing his cheek, "Enos, sugar, please, open your eyes and look at me".

Since they were children Daisy had a great power on Enos, being able to convince him to do whatever she wanted to, and sometimes abusing of her power. Old times.

She looked into Enos' eyes, "Enos, I love you, no matter who's your real father, no matter who's your mother's lover. You are YOU, and I know you since we were children. I love YOU. NOTHING can change it". She bent down and she kissed him, as Bo and Luke, exchanging a smile and a knowing look, looked away, a bit embarrassed of that plain manifestation of love between their friend and their cousin.

When Enos slowly stood up they approached him, patting on his back.

"It's the same for us, Enos. I mean… nearly the same, change the word love with affection and don't wait for a kiss from me", Bo patted gently on Enos' cheek, smiling, "Nothing's changed, for us. You are YOU".

"Thank you", a faint smile appeared on Enos' face and his eyes filled with tears, "thank you".

"Hey, don't try to run away from us. Never again", Luke sweetly patted on Enos' nape, "never again, OK? Besides, YOU are the one who usually has to catch us… and by car".

The three old boys and the beautiful woman burst out laughing, a laugh of relief, and then their laugh turned into a long and tight hug: Daisy hugged Enos, and Bo and Luke hugged the couple.

When they finally arrived at the farm, uncle Jesse was waiting for them on the porch, clearly worried, but his worrisome changed in relief as he saw their calm faces, the way Daisy's arms were wrapped around Enos' arm and the way Bo's and Luke's hands rested on Enos' shoulders. That image turned, in his mind, into a older image: three boys and a tomboy covered with dust (or mud) coming back to the farm after an afternoon spent running everywhere and getting into troubles.

Uncle Jesse smiled and he came into the farm: Bo and Luke wouldn't have abandoned their best friend, never, Daisy would have stayed by her man's side, always, and he, the Dukes' patriarch, would have protected them (any of them) 'till his death.

* * *

The man tapped his pen on his desk, looking at the woman, "You should forget 'bout it. It's happened, and nothing can change it".

"This woman killed my father, I CAN'T forget 'bout it". The newspaper trembled into the woman's hands, "I've talked with the coroner: my father was under sedatives when he... died; in his car there was a thermos with coffee, a coffee full of sedatives. That woman drugged him, and when he was sleeping she killed him… and her too; it was a homicide-suicide, not a double suicide. My father didn't want to die!"

"That woman is DEAD. She can't pay for having killed your father. Forget 'bout it", the man rested his pen on the desk and he stirred.

"I want to know everything 'bout that woman. When she started to have an affair with my father, why, and how long it lasted. She can't talk anymore. She can't pay for what she's done. But she has a son, and HE'll carry the weight of what his mother did to MY family"


	16. Carrying that weight

_"Each one of us continues to carry the heart of each self we've ever been, at every stage along the way, and a chaos of everything good and rotten. And we have to carry this weight all alone, through each day that we live. We try to be as nice as we can to the people we love, but we alone support the weight of ourselves"_

_Banana Yoshimoto_

* * *

**CARRYING THAT WEIGHT**

Rosco looked carefully at Enos who sat at his desk, reading, again, Sheriff McGregor's reports (especially the coroner's report) about Rose Strate's and Andrew Salinger's death. Since he came back to work, two weeks before, he spent a lot of time looking for something in the Police Department's dusty archives (Rosco didn't know what but he could guess it: any information about Andrew Salinger and his staying in Hazzard), and reading that report since he received it, the previous week.

As usual, Enos was at the same time thoughtful and distant as he read that report, as he was fighting between the will of reading it, swallowing and digesting anything in it, and the will of forgetting it, vomiting all that venom.

Andrew Salinger: Rosco had worked with that man, as he was a young deputy, and now, thinking that man could be Enos' real father, he felt confused; he looked at Enos in a different way, he couldn't deny it. He observed Enos, trying to remember Andrew Salinger, but he could barely remember officer Salinger's look (if sheriff McGregor hadn't showed him that man's picture, he wouldn't have remembered him): but, even thinking at that picture, he couldn't find any physical likeness between Enos and that officer.

Pesky rumors: at that time Rosco didn't know 'bout a possible affair between Rose Strate and officer Salinger; at that time he was only a young and naïve deputy, but, few days before, talking with Boss 'bout it (being Boss for sure less naïve and innocent than him) he understood it wasn't a so absurd rumor, since several people, at that time, had doubts 'bout that tricky affair, and 'bout Enos' birth, too. Thomas Strate loved too much Rose to have doubts 'bout it (or, if he had some doubts, he kept them for himself, not sharing these pesky thoughts with his family), and after Rose's leaving (suspiciously few after Andrew Salinger's leaving, a forced leaving due to the terrific wreck that destroyed Dukes… and nearly killed Andrew Salinger too) he kept on taking care of his presumed son (no matter if he was his real son or not). After all, Thomas Strate was an honest and good man, even if a moonshiner, even if sometimes apparently not so caring and loving to that son. And Andrew Salinger too, he was a good man, for sure a good cop, as far as Rosco could remember, love affairs or not.

An old small rumor everybody seemed to have forgotten… 'till the present time, when everybody in Hazzard seemed to talk 'bout it: a rumor suddenly changed into truth, a truth spreading in town as fire during summer.

* * *

"How's Enos?", uncle Jesse looked at Bo and Luke entering the kitchen, still yawning, "you met him yesterday evening, didn't you?"

"Yeah, we talked a bit at the Boar's Nest, and he seemed OK. Still a bit confused… and sad… but he's goin' better and better. We even made him laugh".

Uncle Jesse sighed after Bo's words, "Perfect, I'm glad 'bout it… and… are people still talking 'bout … that thing? Did someone… annoy him because of it?"

Luke shrugged, "Obviously, uncle Jesse, people are talking 'bout it. People like to talk 'bout such a tricky thing, even if they can hurt someone, unfortunately. But… 'till now it seems nobody's so insensitive to talk 'bout it in front of Enos. Some looks are a bit… questioning and curious, but, fortunately, there are only looks, no words, and Enos, even if he notices it, doesn't seem so much concerned".

Uncle Jesse shook his head, "Bad times. I miss old times, sometimes". He looked up at the ceiling, thoughtfully.

After Rose Strate's and Andrew Salinger's leaving, people (several but few people, fortunately) who had doubts 'bout a possible affair between them two stopped talking 'bout it, respecting Thomas Strate's pain for his wife's leaving, and respecting the genuine friendship between Thomas Strate and Jesse Duke; Jesse Duke too respected his friend Thomas enough to avoid any possible comment 'bout the affair between Thomas' wife and the man who destroyed his family; somehow that tragedy drew Thomas Strate and Jesse Duke nearer and nearer: they shared that tragedy, even if from different points of view.

So, that intriguing but fortunately small rumor simply disappeared, thanks to Thomas Strate's and Jesse Duke's willing, and thanks to the great respect people had for Thomas and Jesse. Besides, it was only a rumor, and it seemed nobody wanted to find out if it was true or not, for everybody's sake, especially after Thomas Strate's death; and, even if Rose Strate came to Hazzard, from time to time, nobody tried to ask her 'bout that rumor: it was painful… and pointless due to her insanity (nobody could really trust her words). Even Jesse Duke seemed to avoid any reference to that rumor, respecting his old and beloved friend, and respecting (and protecting) his friend's son: no matter what, Thomas Strate had taken care of Enos as if he was his son, SO he was his son, and Jesse Duke didn't want to know anything else, from Rose Strate nor from anyone else, becoming, from time to time, a sort of putative father for his best friend's son.

No matter how much the news 'bout Rose Strate and Andrew Salinger shocked him, few weeks before: Thomas was dead, and fortunately he couldn't suffer any more because of it, but there was Enos, Thomas' ACTUAL son, the boy who grew up with his niece and nephews, the man his niece loved. It was uncle Jesse's and Dukes' way to think, and fortunately Enos understood it, not distancing himself from his old friends and love, the same way they didn't repel him (and, in effect, there's no need to reject him, but it was time to stay closer him).

"Don't worry, uncle Jesse, we're goin' to protect Enos from this thing; we're already keeping an eye on him", Luke blinked and he patted gently on his uncle's back, "besides, there's Daisy by Enos' side, and she can become a tiger if someone dares to hurt him".

* * *

Daisy walked like a tiger in cage as she waited for Enos at the Boarding House: his lunch time (a lunch time longer than past times thanks to Rosco, a strangely gentle and caring Rosco… or, maybe, not so much strangely since Daisy knew Rosco cared for Enos, in the deep of his heart), and lately they've decided to spend his lunch time at his place, away from anyone, away from people's curious, pitiful and sometimes judging eyes, away from rumors.

When he opened the door, she ran in his arms and she kissed him.

Enos looked at her, smiling, "WOW, Daisy Duke, you're really eager to see me"

"Obviously I'm eager to see you, sugar".

Sitting at the table and eating silently their lunch, they looked at each other, enjoying their staying together with no need to talk, 'till Daisy's usual question, "Everything's OK? Did someone annoy you?"

And Enos' usual answer, "Everything's OK, thanks".

And then their usual way to show their mutual affection: spooning each other on the bed, talking… talking… and talking… about whatever they wanted to, usual funny things to forget anything else; or not talking at all, buried under the blankets, in another kind of communication, more intimate.

A kind of communication Daisy started to understand better and better: the more he was febrile and desperate, the more something was wrong with him. And there was really something wrong during the last week, she felt it.

Under the blankets, spooning him as the first time, at the Institute, she had a big sigh before to ask him what's wrong, then she waited patiently for his answer.

"My mother killed Andrew Salinger".

Daisy was shocked by his answer, but she didn't say anything, waiting for more.

"I've read again and again Sheriff McGregor's reports, and there's no other conclusion: my mother and that man met in that glade near the Institute, and she offered him a coffee, a coffee full of sedatives, then, when he was sleeping, she killed him, and herself… you know how"

He remained silent, and Daisy felt his body gently trembling.

"But, Enos, are you sure 'bout it?"

"I've analyzed everything, and there's no other conclusion. In Andrew Salinger's blood there was a large amount of sedatives, the same sedatives found in a thermos inside the car (my mother's thermos… there was a picture of that thermos in the report, and I remember it pretty well), whereas there was no sedative in my mother's blood. It means my mother brought that thermos with her, in order to drug him and to kill him… and herself… when he couldn't react. For sure he didn't arrive at the Institute under sedatives, since he couldn't drive that way. He drank the coffee my mother offered him, and then he fell asleep. My mother loved coffee, and for sure she'd have drunk it if she hadn't known 'bout the sedatives in it… She knew it 'cause she wanted to drug him before to kill him, and her with him. She wanted to die with him… whereas he didn't want to die. Homicide-suicide: it's sheriff McGregor's conclusion, and I agree with him, there's no other possibility. I've thought 'bout other possibilities, but any other possibility is absurd and non-sense. I don't know why they met or how many times they met before their last time, anyway. I don't know why my mother did what she did. There are so many unresolved questions, but I think I won't have any answer 'bout it".

Feeling his body trembling, Daisy understood it wasn't good for him to keep on analyzing and thinking of those kind of things; moreover, it wasn't good at all if he had started to blame himself for that man's death, and, knowing Enos, it was a realistic possibility.

"Enos, stop it. Forget 'bout everything. You can't turn back time. Whatever happened, it happened. No matter how much you try to understand everything… why… how… when. It happened"

His trembling became more and more intense, and he started to breathe heavily, as the day of his mother's funeral, and as other times after it (even if the attack he had the day of the funeral was the worst one). But Daisy now knew how to stop it: she rolled him on his back, she hugged him tight and she kissed him deeply, not letting him go 'till his breath became regular, in a sort of strange mouth to mouth resuscitation.

When he finally relaxed, she let him go.

She observed him as he got up, catching his loose clothes inside the room and heading to the bathroom, no more ashamed of his nudity in front of her, or simply so confused and lost in his thoughts he didn't mind it; thinking 'bout it, Daisy couldn't help but being stunned of their relationship's change, a so sudden and fundamental change, happened only less than three weeks before. Thinking of Enos' previous usual shyness and lacking in self-confidence, and of his actual way to relate to her, Daisy wondered if his previous shyness was only a dream, a façade, or if the dream was that new relationship: was his acting natural, or was it the consequence of the shock he was facing?

When he came out the bathroom after a brief shower, his uniform on, ready to go back to work, he didn't forget to kiss her before to leave his apartment: he kissed gently her lips and then her right shoulder, making her shiver as his tongue gently touched her skin, despite her worrisome because of this new complication, his obsessive thoughts 'but it and his possible reaction to it.

* * *

In the evening, his mind lost in his thoughts, walking to the Police Department, Enos didn't even realize someone was following him. He realized it when the man called him, a rough call.

"Hey, Strate, you, bastard"

When Enos turned to that voice, surprised, the man's fist hit him with all his strength, so he fell down to the ground, his ears buzzing, a burning pain radiating from his cheek to his head. He tried to stand up but a violent kick against his chest, and the clear sound of a "crack" (or, at least, it was what he heard), pushed him down again, gasping for air. A second kick directed against his stomach made him vomit few gastric juices. He managed to block a third kick directed to his face raising his left arm, another "crack" resounding in his mind with a rush of unbearable pain.

"John Fitzroy, what the heck are you doing?"

He was waiting for a fourth and final kick, unable to protect himself (he could barely breathe), when he heard Luke's voice, whereas Bo was kneeling by his side, calling him frantically.

He heard the sound of a fight near him (only few punches) and someone running away before Luke came closer him, calling his name as Bo. He felt that same difficulty to breathe he knew so well since his mother's death, but it was now totally different because of the pain in his chest, stomach and left arm; he grabbed Bo's shirt with his right hand (his left arm motionless along his body) and he buried his face against his friend chest, gasping for air, Bo's arms holding him up, his friends' voices keeping on calling his name.

As he fought to breathe, his name became more and more distant, and everything turned black, as he was under-water. He gave up and he fainted into his friends' arms.

* * *

Erika Salinger was looking at the scene from the other side of the street.

She saw everything: that man, a cop, walking in the street and suddenly being attacked by another man who called him "bastard", those boys (the blonde one with a yellow shirt and the brown one with a blue shirt) running to help the cop, the boy with the blue shirt punching the bad boy and letting him running away before to kneel down by the cop's side with the other boy, the woman running to the three men after a while and, knelt by the cop's side, starting to hug him and to call his name as a woman in love usually does, and finally the ambulance.

She heard everything: the cop's name was Enos Strate, that woman's son, the man she was looking for.

She understood everything: his way to walk, his way to look down at the ground, his hands firmly on his belt as he stopped to talk to a man, his gentle nodding and smiling as he walked away from the man. Only few minutes observing him as he walked in that street before he was attacked to see, without any doubt, her father into that cop: he wasn't alike Andrew Salinger, physically, since he had brown straight hair and he was really tall and muscular (whereas Andrew Salinger was less muscular and blonde with blue eyes), but his gestures were totally alike to Andrew Salinger's ones. It was like to see a taller and brown version of Andrew Salinger.

She was shocked, voices of people who were looking, and commenting upon, the scene floating around her and telling her what she's already understood:

"John Fizroy's dad was arrested by Andrew Salinger, 30 years ago"

"What a shame. That woman, a moonshiner's wife, having an affair with that ATF's officer"

"Do you think deputy Strate is really Salinger's son? At that time, someone thought that…"

Erika walked away from those voices, stunned: she came to that little town to hate that man, to vomit against him all her hate, and now she was simply realizing she COULDN'T hate him, the same way she couldn't hate her father or herself. He was both Rose Strate's son and Andrew Salinger's son, and he was carrying the weight of being their son, the son of both of them.

Her brother. And she had to carry the same weight.


	17. Salinger and Salinger

_"One day a long time from now you'll cease to care anymore whom you please or what anybody has to say about you. That's when you'll finally produce the work you're capable of"_

_J.D. Salinger_

* * *

**SALINGER… AND SALINGER**

When Enos opened his eyes he realized he was in Hospital, and he suddenly remembered what happened: he felt ashamed of his weakness, a cop so easily attacked and knocked out.

As soon as he opened his eyes someone gently brushed his hair: he could recognize that touch between thousand of touches.

"Enos, sugar, are you OK?", Daisy bent down to him, smiling.

He turned to Daisy and he tried to smile, "I'm fine, thanks"

He raised his left arm to caress her hair but he realized how much heavy his arm was: plaster, a plaster cast covering half of his hand (sparing only his fingers), his wrist and his forearm 'till his elbow. So, that "crack" wasn't a product of his imagination, but it was really his wrist breaking. He let his arm falling along his body and he had a big sigh, something that made him moan because of a sharp pain on the right side of his chest: obviously that other crack wasn't because of his imagination, and he wondered how many ribs were broken.

"Your wrist and three ribs are broken, no more severe consequences, fortunately".

Enos turned to uncle Jesse who just answered his silent question. What other more severe consequences? A broken wrist and three broken ribs weren't enough?

"John Fitzroy is really a jackass. Luke'd have smashed every tooth in John's head instead of letting him go after a couple of punches". Near the door Bo rested his back against the wall, folding his arms.

"Beauregard Duke. I don't want to hear this kind of words from you. It's not what I've taught you", uncle Jesse reproached his nephew, and Bo lowered his head, respecting his uncle's authority.

"I'm sorry, uncle Jesse. But …", Bo looked up again at his uncle, trying to justify his previous harshness, "you listened to what Doc told us. The violence of those kicks could…"

Luke's hand squeezed gently Bo's shoulder, so the young Duke stopped.

"Enos is fine, now, Bo. It's pointless to wonder what could have happened if those kicks had reached the left side of Enos' chest (and his spleen, as Doc said) instead of the right one, or his head. It didn't happen, fortunately".

Through Luke's words, Enos understood what uncle Jesse meant talking about more severe consequences: if he hadn't raised his arm to block John's kick, it'd have hit his head instead that break his wrist; if Bo and Luke hadn't helped him, for sure he'd have had worse consequences. John hit him with all his strength and hate: did he want to kill him? Enos wondered how many people out there hated him because of his mother's affair with Andrew Salinger, or because of his possible relation to that man. Everybody in Hazzard respected him 'cause everybody knew he was an honest cop and a gentleman: was everything now over? Was it possible people stopped respecting him for something beyond him? All his efforts, along his life, to gain people's respect and acceptance, were useless?

"_I don't want you to be a so damn gentleman, acting like a saint 'cause you need to be accepted by people, whereas you know perfectly well you're a loser"_

He closed his eyes and he shivered, overwhelmed by nausea: why did his mother's words come to his mind in that moment?

Uncle Jesse caught Enos' reaction.

"Boys, stop, please"

Daisy reached Enos' right hand, squeezing it, "Oh Enos".

She couldn't find any other word: what to say? It seemed everything was going worse and worse. Her family tried to protect Enos from rumors and to help him through his grief, for…what? The worst thing that could happen, at the end, happened: someone attacked him in the most cowardly, hateful and unfair way. Thinking of Enos' way to do always the right thing, his honesty and his kindness beside his lack in self-confidence (his way to show he was worth to be loved and respected?), it wasn't so much difficult for Dukes (especially Daisy) to understand how that kind of rumors and people's reaction could affect Enos' soul. His mother's way to act when she was in town (Daisy remembered pretty well her flirting with a married man at the Boar's Nest when she was drunk, and Enos rescuing her), her way to die and rumors 'bout her love affair… everything was humiliating for Enos.

He opened his eyes, "How long have I to stay here?"

"'till tomorrow. You're goin' to stay here, tonight, and tomorrow we'll bring you home, sugar"

"Only one night. It means I'm not so badly injured, after all", he smiled.

A nurse entered the room, a clear sign that visiting time was over.

Daisy kissed his lips but he didn't answer her kiss, and it shocked her: only few hours before they were hugging, naked, in his bed, and now he didn't even answer her kiss. She prayed he wasn't going to show again his being offish and totally lacking in self-confidence as before his mother's death, as before that night at the Institute. Or, maybe, it was only 'cause they weren't alone in that room: Daisy hoped it was only his usual shyness.

* * *

In the General, on the way to the farm, Daisy was still thinking of that missed kiss; by her side, uncle Jesse rested his hand on her knee, "Daisy…", only that word, his tone showing a kaleidoscope of emotions: worrisome, sadness, tiredness.

"I don't think somebody is going to follow John's example. First, John Fitzroy is… ehm… you know, there are no many people like him", Bo tried to cheer her up, "second, now people know it's better not to hurt Enos if they don't want to mess with us, and, third, I think the most part of people respects and loves Enos, 'cause it's pretty impossible to hate someone like Enos, unless you are… ehm… unless…", Bo looked at Luke, searching for help, "I think that John attacked Enos for something else, and he used rumors as an excuse"

"Bo's right. John is a rare case. Maybe there's someone else like him, out there, but now he knows it's better to stay away from Enos if he doesn't want a couple of punch from us. How many times in the last year did John ask you out, Daisy? I think he's jealous of Enos, and it's why he attacked him: he wanted to hide his jealousy behind something else".

Thinking of that new reason to explain John Fitzroy's attack to Enos didn't please Daisy, "Oh thank you Luke. So, it's all my fault".

"Daisy, I didn't mean it's your fault. I think it's more probable someone is jealous of Enos 'cause of you than someone hates him 'cause of his mother… or his father (whoever is). Men's things".

A new perspective, somehow positive but at the same time negative for Daisy.

"So, Luke, does it mean that any man jealous of Enos because of me now can use those rumors as an excuse to attack Enos?"

Luke looked at Bo by his side, who kept on driving the car without a word, and then he turned to uncle Jesse who sat on the back-seat with Daisy, "Hey, uncle Jesse…", in a desperate search for help.

Uncle Jesse squeezed gently Daisy's knee, "No, Daisy, it doesn't mean Enos is going to be attacked because of you. Bo and Luke are trying to tell you that people respect and love Enos because they know him, besides rumors… but… obviously, we can't please anyone (Enos can't please anyone, even if he's a good guy, you can't please anyone, and Bo, and Luke, and I). So, if someone doesn't like Enos, for jealousy… for example… but for other reasons too (Enos is too much honest for some people), well, now he could decide to attack Enos using rumors as an excuse. An excuse to dislike him even more".

Luke sighed in relief, "It's exactly what I was trying to say. Do you remember when Scanlon came to Hazzard to kill Enos? Everybody helped us to save Enos, the town was ready to fight against Scanlon in order to help Enos. And do you remember when Boss hired that new deputy with the excuse to promote Enos to … Commissioner of Records? When Boss said publicly, at the Boar's Nest, that a new deputy was going to take Enos' place, people who heard 'bout it showed their disappointment. People like Enos… the most part of people, but, obviously, there's someone who dislikes him (the same way there's someone who dislikes you, or me, or Bo, or even uncle Jesse), and such a kind of rumors can push these people to act as John Fitzroy. Few people, fortunately, and I hope they're going to think of their actions if they don't want to mess with us. I sincerely don't think someone could start to hate Enos BECAUSE of this kind of rumors. Enos is Enos, as we told him, no matter his father's identity, no matter his mother's affairs"

"NOW, it's more clear. Anyway, I'm not relieved. The way John attacked Enos…", Daisy shook her head, "I can't stand to see Enos…injured, physically or psychologically. I REALLY can't stand it"

"It's the same for us, Daisy. In a different way, 'cause you… love him, but, anyway, any of us can't stand to see Enos injured", Bo took a deep breath, his eyes focused on the road whereas his mind was driven to those terrific moments of only few hours before, as Enos grabbed his shirt, burying his face against his chest and gasping for air.

"Because of his broken ribs and wrist, now, Enos can't come back to work for a while. So we'll better keep an eye on him, while people will slowly forget rumors".

Daisy nodded, "You're right, uncle Jesse. But… will Enos forget rumors? I'm really worried because of his obsession about it. He talked to me 'bout … the coroner's and Sheriff McGregor's reports. How his mother and that man died: homicide-suicide, not a double suicide, as he thought, and he's shocked 'bout it"

"WHAT?", the men in the car looked at her in shock, even Bo, who forgot for a while 'bout the road.

Daisy had a deep sigh before to explain them what Enos explained her only few hours before. Somehow it was like betraying Enos, revealing it, but she knew her family had to know it in order to help Enos: she had to relate on her family in order to help Enos in the best way.

After Daisy's explanation a deep silence filled the car, 'till uncle Jesse conclusion, "I really hope that guy won't start to feel responsible because of something his mother did. I hope he won't start to wonder 'bout that man's family (if he had a family) and how his mother's action affected that family. He's a cop, after all, and a caring and sensitive guy, and his mother killed a man, another cop. Enos should learn to love himself, first of all".

Nobody could deny the truth in uncle Jesse's words: if there was someone who could blame himself for everything happened 'round him, that man was Enos, and it wouldn't have been surprising if he had started to blame himself for that man's death.

* * *

At the Hazzard's Hotel, Erika Salinger laid down on the bed, the phone's receiver pressed against her ear.

"It's absurd, Josh. But… when I saw him… it was like looking at… dad".

She heard silently the voice at the other side of the receiver then she snapped, "Obviously I can't be sure. But… people here talked 'bout this possibility, 'cause… my father probably had an affair with that woman before that woman's son was born. Now, I asked exactly when that deputy (AH, what a funny thing, a cop… like my father… like us) was born, so I know my father had an affair with that woman BEFORE he met my mother… before I was born. What I don't know it's if that affair lasted along all those years", she swallowed against the lump in her throat, "Did he still love that woman when he married my mother? Did he keep on meeting that woman as he stayed with my mother? Or did he simply meet that woman, again, only recently, to be… killed in a sort of revenge 'cause he left her years ago?"

Listening to Josh, she sat up on the bed, angry; that man could really drive her crazy.

"I want an ANSWER. Now it's too late to come back home. How could I forget 'bout everything? That deputy is probably my brother, and he has to know it. I hate his mother, but… if he's really my brother, I can't hate him. It's an… absurd situation: I hate him because of his mother, but I can't hate him because of... his (and my) father. I want to know it, I want to observe him and to know everything 'bout him, and, through him, I want to know everything 'bout his mother and my father. And I bet he too wants to know the truth 'bout our parents' relationship, and 'bout his real dad".

* * *

Meanwhile, the woman at the Hotel's reception desk was talking by phone with one of her friends 'bout a young woman, Erika SALINGER, asking her, only few hours before, some brief information 'bout Enos Strate.


	18. New memories from the past?

_"So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past"_

_F. Scott Fitzgerald_

* * *

**NEW MEMORIES FROM THE PAST?**

_The man, a smiling blonde cop, looked at little Enos, "Hey boy, what are you doin' here. It's dangerous, and you shouldn't be here all alone"_

_Enos, four years old, stared at the man, stopping his solitary play: throwing little stones into the pond. The man seemed so tall, and his smile made him feel at ease; his voice was gentle and Enos let fall down the stone in his hand._

"_You should be at your farm", as he talked, he turned to Enos' farm, its roof visible in the distance, looking at it, thoughtful. After a long silence, he averted his eyes from Strates farm and he looked again at the little boy, "Enos Strate. It's your name, isn't it?"_

_Enos opened his eyes wide: how could that man know his name? In his uniform he looked like a super-hero with magic powers, as the super-heroes of the comics he liked to watch._

_The magic cop walked near the little child, kneeling down and looking carefully at him._

_Those blue eyes impressed Enos, sweet but at the same time sad. Magic eyes? Could that man read into his mind?_

"_Why are you here and not at your farm?"_

_Enos shrugged, "Mum and daddy are having a fight"_

_The man sighed, and, surprisingly, he took the child in his arms, "Anyway, it's not a reason to walk away. You're too little. What if you fall into the pond? I can't let a little child doin' something so dangerous"_

_In the cop's arms, Enos noticed any particular of his uniform, his little hand touched the metal badge (golden and blue) and it amazed him: it was a sort of magic symbol, for him, the symbol of the super-hero who could read into children's mind, reading their name and rescuing them form the bad ponds. It was the first time he could watch a uniform so clearly; his father didn't talk so well 'bout cops, and Enos now wondered why: that cop was so gentle, he had probably magic powers and that metal badge was so beautiful._

_Finally inside the farm's fence, the cop let Enos free and he walked away, as the little child looked at him dreaming of adventures, magic symbols and super-heroes._

* * *

The white ceiling and the characteristic smell of that place recalled Enos he was at the Hospital, his eyes wide open in the middle of the night, trying to catch any particular of that dream. Was it real? Did it really happen or was it because of painkillers? A vivid dream, as the dream of that man burying his face against his mother chest: but, 'till then, he was the first time he recalled that man beside his "meeting" with his mother. How many times did he meet that man? How many hidden memories 'bout that man?

He still felt that metal badge under his fingers, and he remembered how happy and proud was the day he wore for the first time his uniform, his finger caressing HIS badge. Was it because of that badge lost in his memory? He wondered what exactly brought him to become a cop; he had always thought it was because of his desperate attempt to leave his uncle's farm applying to a honest job: being the son of a moonshiner, in a little county like Hazzard, with no money (and not much interest) to go to College, he had no much choices between becoming a moonshiner or farming, both possibilities incompatible with his willing to be independent from his uncle and aunt. At that time he thought of becoming a cop as his only chance. But now a new reason behind his decision, a so apparent natural decision, was surfacing to his mind.

His mind started to analyze everything, again, and another thought slapped him: was it possible that man knew he could be his natural father? He closed his eyes recalling that man's eyes staring at him: was he trying to find signs of his paternity? Or was he simply curious to see his lover's son, trying to find signs of Rose Strate's in that child? Was it just curiosity or something else? And when he, and few after his lover, left Hazzard, did he wonder what that little child was doing? Did he know 'bout Thomas Strate's death? Did he abandon him like his mother, even if he knew (or simple he suspected) he was his father?

He wanted to hate him, his only way to get rid of him: he was the lover of a married woman; he killed Bo's, Luke's and Daisy's parents; he was responsible of his mother's death. And, IF he was his real father, and IF he knew it, he abandoned him.

But he couldn't hate him: his mother had the same responsibilities (or even more) in that relationship; he was doing his duty chasing Bo's, Luke's and Daisy's parents, and he nearly died in that same car wreck (how many times did HE chase Bo and Luke, and Daisy, because of Boss's and Rosco's orders? For sure he didn't want to kill them as he chased them); he wasn't the responsible of his mother's death, but it was the contrary. And, moreover, how could he know for sure IF he was his real father? He had no choice that leaving Hazzard, hoping Thomas Strate could be a good father (and, maybe, he didn't even know 'bout Thomas Strate's death).

He couldn't hate him especially after that dream: that man (his real father?) was probably the reason why he decided to become a cop, and he couldn't deny that becoming a cop was his best idea, something he was proud of.

The more he tried to erase everything 'bout that past (his past, his mother's past and Andrew Salinger's past), the more the past assaulted him.

The fight between the desire to hate him (and to get him out of his mind, so destroying the desire to know more 'bout him) and the incapability to do it knocked him out. Somewhere, an alarm started to buzz as he gasped and he shivered, burning with fever.

He barely realized a nurse entered he room, and then a doctor who auscultated his lungs; he barely realized they were bringing him to the department of Radiology, an oxygen mask on his face; he barely understood Doc talking 'bout "pulmonary contusion, fortunately he was here under observation" and a nurse answering 'bout "observation is 'cause of such of these possibilities, after all".

He closed his eyes and he dreamt of Andrew Salinger taking him in his arms.

* * *

"Hey Daisy, wait", Luke and Bo came out the farm, Bo still wearing his jacket, a sandwich in his mouth, "There's no need to hurry up to go shopping. You know, even if we hurry up to go shopping and then we go to the Hospital, nurses won't let us visit him before visiting time"

Daisy turned to him "I can convince a nurse to let me see him before visit time, if I want to"

Luke shook his head, "Stubborn woman. Besides, he's goin' to come back home, today. So, what's the sense to go to the Hospital before time?"

Daisy shot him a questioning and surprised look.

"Love, cousin", Bo patted on Luke's back, smiling, while Luke sighed, still shaking his head.

Finally in town, after the shopping, they were heading to the General Lee as Cooter stopped them. He approached them, his hat on, greasy stains on his jeans, "Hey buddies", he pointed at their bags, "Shopping, I suppose… How's Enos?"

Bo smiled, "We're going to the Hospital to bring him home"

Cooter scratched his hat, "Good… I hope he's goin' to be fine, after everything he had to face"

"Yeah, he'll be fine", Daisy nodded, "I won't let anybody hurt him again".

"So, what are you planning to do with that woman?"

Daisy stared at him, "What are you talking 'bout, Cooter?"

"Well, it seems yesterday a woman arrived at Hazzard's Hotel, and she asked 'bout Enos. Her name is Erika… SALINGER!", Cooter opened his eyes wide, surprised his friends didn't know anything 'bout it, but, in effect, the evening before they stayed at the Hospital with Enos.

"WHAT?", Daisy nearly shouted. No, it was impossible: why did things seem so complicated?

* * *

Erika took on the phone's receiver, "Hello"

On the other side of the receiver, Josh.

"A box? In my father's locker?". She heard silently at Josh explaining her 'bout that box found in her father's locker at the Department. Erika wondered why Josh called her to talk 'bout a box found at the Department, for sure something 'bout her father's work.

She held her breath when Josh explained her it wasn't a box containing something 'bout work, as he and his colleagues thought when they opened it.

Pictures: pictures of that woman, pictures of his father and that woman; pictures (not close up pictures but from the distance) of a young man the day of his Police Academy's graduation and swearing-in-ceremony (and Erika, from Josh's description of the young man, perfectly understood who was); newspaper's cuttings: _"Hazzard County Gazette: Local Deputy makes heroic capture"_ (a picture of a smiling deputy under the title, and the name of the Deputy under the picture: Enos Strate), _"Los Angeles Tribune: Rookie cop captures syndicate hit man"_ (a picture of a serious and more mature cop under the title, and the name of the cop under the picture: Enos Strate).

Did his father know that deputy was his real son? Was it his secret? And those pictures of that woman: was it a proof that his father kept on meeting that woman even after he married her mother, or old pictures? His father knew her mother after the accident he had in that small County (a County he didn't talk too much, a wreck he avoided to talk about), when he was a patient and she was her nurse at the Hospital, then they married and Erika was born. Was his life with her mother only a farce? Did he keep on thinking of that woman and of that son? WHY?

When Erika came out the Hotel, shocked, in order to have a walk and to try to calm her down, she noticed a man, a hat on his head, greasy stains on his jeans, pointing at her, and the men and the woman in front of him turning to her: the woman and the men helping the deputy the day before.

She stopped and she looked surprised at the woman striding to her.


	19. Protecting you

"_Each person feels pain in his own way, each has his own scars__"_

_Haruki Murakami_

* * *

**PROTECTING YOU**

Daisy stopped in front of Erika, her arms folded and her eyes sharp like knives, observing her: a young woman (in her late twenties?), with short straight hair and blue eyes (a deep and icy blue), not much tall and only a bit overweight. She noticed a ringer on her left hand, a wedding ring. That woman was the daughter of Andrew Salinger, and maybe Enos' sister: Daisy couldn't forget that particular, and she tried to find any possible likeness between Enos and Erika, but there was no physical likeness.

"Why are you here?"

A direct and short question: typical of a hot-tempered woman as Daisy.

Erika Salinger folded her arms, a different way of folding arms, defensive toward aggressive.

"You should present yourself, don't you think?"

Daisy had a deep sigh, taking her time to analyze the woman's voice: soft and a bit hoarse, so different from Enos' one, but, anyway, women' voices are different from men's voices, so their difference had no meaning.

"My name is Daisy Duke, and I'm…", a brief pause, "Enos' fiancée", in effect, she was Enos' fiancée in everything it meant, "and I know who YOU are, Erika Salinger, and I suppose you're here because of what happened to Enos' mother and your father".

Vague: it was better to stay on a vague path (no reference to suicide, homicide or possible brotherhood) before to understand exactly what Erika knew 'bout that thing and to know exactly why she arrived to Hazzard. Daisy was enough clever to control any possible leak of complicated and compromising news.

"I won't allow you to bother Enos. He's already enough problems, and grief, to face, without your unpleasant presence"

The riot act.

Erika had a brief grimace, a soft moving of her lips coupled with a knitting of her brows and a gentle bending of her head, in a mix of rage, thoughtfulness and worrisome, and Daisy held her breath: that woman wasn't physically alike to Enos, but that facial look was something Daisy knew pretty well (how many times did she see that kind of expression on Enos' face?).

"First of all, you CAN'T order me anything, Daisy Duke. Your fiancée's mother killed my father"

Daisy forced herself not to jump in surprise: that woman knew everything 'bout the way Enos' mother and her father died.

"And since it seems they were… lovers", in Erika's voice disgust and rage, "I want to know how and when it started, and how much it lasted".

Daisy recollected all her thoughts, trying to go back to that vague path, say and not to say, especially 'bout a possible brotherhood.

"Enos doesn't know anything 'bout it, so it's pointless to talk to him. His mother left when he was 5 years old, and he doesn't know what his mother did, or people she met, since then"

Erika shook her head, "His mother stayed several times at Ridge Institute, and your fiancée visited her. So, it's no true he doesn't know anything 'bout his mother"

Daisy held her breath: that woman seemed to know too much things, and Erika confirmed even more Daisy's suspicion.

"Now, I went to that Institute before to come here, to have some information from the last persons who saw Rose Strate, and I talked to Doc Martin and that strange Miss Kate, but it seems they can't help me. That woman never met my father when she was at the Institute, or, if she met him, she was really good to hide it to everyone"

This time Daisy couldn't hide her starting: did that woman go to the Institute? Did she really talk to Doc Martin and Miss Kate?

"They simply told me they don't know 'bout any affair of Rose Strate. They didn't ever see my father", Erika shook again her head, sighing, "just a beating the air. Your fiancée is the next step to know something 'bout my father".

That woman seemed really stubborn, and Daisy didn't like her obsession and her wandering looking for information, and that obsession risked to join Enos' one: they both wanted to know about their parents, and Daisy was sure it couldn't be an healthy meeting.

"… and to know if… he's really my brother"

Daisy's eyes opened wide: Erika Salinger knew EVERYTHING. There was no need any more to walk on a vague path, now.

"Well, I don't know if Enos is your brother, and Enos too doesn't know if you're his sister. He can't help you. It's already a really difficult situation, for him. So… please, go away", Daisy's voice turned unsure and somehow imploring, and she hated herself for it, so she tried to regain her previous boldness, "You won't hurt Enos. I'll stop you, in any possible way"

Erika too showed her boldness, "It's not something you can stop. It's something between me and your fiancée, and I bet he wants to know everything the same way I do".

For the first time Daisy noticed how that woman didn't call Enos with his name, but with "your fiancée", as she was trying to maintain a sort of distance, despite her willing to know him: Enos was the son of the woman who killed her father, and maybe his brother, and it seemed Erika Salinger didn't know if hate him or not.

Too much confusion and contrasting emotions, both from Erika and from Enos.

Daisy stiffened, and she turned to Bo, Luke and Cooter, enough distant not to hear her talking to Erika but enough near to intervene (maybe if Luke talked to that woman… her older cousin had a gift with words and a sharp mind: he could be for sure more quiet and more convincing than her).

Her cousins were looking at her and Erika, a serious look on their face and their body apparently relaxed, their back resting against the General Lee and their arms folded, but ready to run to her, just in case of a catfight, not so uncharacteristic being Daisy that sort of tiger they knew pretty well, a tiger ready to jump on her enemy if that enemy threatened her family.

Luke caught Daisy's silent ask for help, and he slowly unfolded his arms, ready to reach her, when the General's C.B. buzzed.

Daisy looked at her cousins talking through the C.B. and then Luke approaching her.

"Daisy, it's uncle Jesse. The Hospital called the farm. There's a problem with Enos"

Luke's words made Daisy freeze, her mind totally driven to the Hospital, totally forgetting of Erika Salinger.

"Come on", Luke walked to the General Lee, and Daisy followed him.

* * *

When Bo, Luke and Daisy entered Enos' room, after they talked to doctors, he was sleeping.

Daisy was relieved by doctors' words: Enos had a complication, but fortunately not a so dangerous complication; for sure he'd have stayed in Hospital for some more days than expected, nothing else.

"Hey, sugar", she touched gently his forehead, brushing back a lock of hair; he was burning with fever.

When he opened his eyes he gently smiled, removing the oxygen mask and trying to sit up, "Hi Dais. Please, hug me. I need you".

Daisy was surprised by his open request of affection and physical touch, but not so surprised as Bo and Luke, who looked at each other, the same way they looked at each other the day Enos came from the Institute: his open looking for physical touch with his gestures was surprising, and even more surprising was this blatant verbal request.

Was it because of the fever?

Bo and Luke looked at Daisy gently putting back the oxygen mask on Enos' face and hugging him tight, and they didn't miss the shadow of surprise and worrisome on Daisy's face.

She held him tight, realizing how much he was burning with fever and wondering if his way to act was because of fever: since that night at the Institute Enos suddenly changed his behaviour, forgetting his usual shyness and prudence, and Daisy, now, was starting to doubt if it was really a good thing or if it was due to a sort of shock, a shock even more deep Daisy thought of. His way to hang on her (and on uncle Jesse, Bo and Luke, in a different way) was for sure a positive thing (a lot better that take things for himself) but, on the other side, it showed his pain and discomfiture in a dramatic way.

Thinking of this new side of Enos, she held him 'till he fell asleep.

* * *

"Erika Salinger?", uncle Jesse sank into his arm-chair, his look lost outside the window, the same way of the day Rose Strate came to Hazzard for the last time.

Daisy nodded, "Yeah, I have to find a way to convince her to go away, no matter what"

"I don't think it's a good idea, Daisy".

Daisy looked at her uncle, her mouth wide open, "But… uncle Jesse…"

Uncle Jesse raised her hand, a gentle gesture to stop her, "Now, Daisy, let me explain. First of all, I think you can't stop her, she'll find a way to talk to Enos, some day or another. Second, I think Enos has the right to talk to her, if he wants to: it's HIS decision, not your one; it's something too much important 'bout his life and identity. Third, somehow Erika Salinger and Enos are facing something similar, and, somehow, I think she could be a… gift for him: she doesn't want to hurt him, it seems, but only to talk to him and to KNOW, the same way he does"

"A… GIFT?", Daisy was shocked by her uncle's words.

"I'm not sure 'bout it, but my instinct and my experience usually don't fail. Obviously, we should check on Enos and Erika meeting"

Luke cleared his throat, his sign of a possible unwelcome talk, "Well, but… do you think Enos'll be able to face this… thing? I mean, his way to…", he looked at Daisy and he averted his eyes when he saw her blushing, "his way to … hang on Daisy is a bit…", he thought of a fitting word, "… scaring?"

Uncle Jesse shook his head, "No, not scaring. Sad, 'cause it shows his pain, a pain so deep he can't hide it, but, on the other hand, it's a LOT better he opens up to us, and especially to Daisy. I'd be a lot more worried if he acted the same way he did after his mother's arrival, avoiding us and taking everything for himself: he can't take things for himself anymore, and he's understood it, it's sad but it's good. Do you know what I mean?"

A new perspective from wise uncle Jesse: Bo, Luke and Daisy remained silent, pondering on the implicit truth in his words.

"Anyway, it's better I have a talk with that woman before she meets Enos, just to know who she is and what she wants"

Uncle Jesse stood up and he walked to the door.

Daisy sighed in relief: if there was a man who could talk properly to Erika Salinger, that man was uncle Jesse.


	20. Hang on me

_"Let there be spaces in your togetherness"_

_Kahalil Gibran_

* * *

**HANG ON ME**

Erika inhaled the air's scent, a winter air with a pitch of spring, as she kept on throwing small stones into the pond: since she was a child she liked to throw stones into lakes, pond, sea, whatever made of water, trying to make stones hopping on water. Her father taught her that way of throwing stones: first, find flat and smooth stones; second, throw the stone with a particular movement of her arm in order that the stone hit the water tangential, starting to hop on. More hops, the more the throwing was good.

Satisfied by her last throwing, Erika sat under an oak, observing the landscape and thinking of how many times his father looked at that same landscape, so many years before. Did he improve that particular way of throwing stones into ponds and lakes when he stayed in that place, in that County full of ponds, lakes and rivers?

Thinking of her father, her heart stirred. She took from her bag an envelope, and from the envelope some pictures, pictures Josh sent to her after her insistence, pictures hidden into her father's locker for so many years.

She looked, again, at those pictures: his father with that woman (both young, really young: she supposed pictures from the time his father stayed in that County), that woman alone (in her younger years), a single picture of Enos Strate (the day of his swearing-in-ceremony) and two newspaper's cuttings about him. She focused on the second newspaper's cutting; she stared at the young cop, his look prideful and a faint smile on his face: a look she knew pretty well, her father look.

A week passed since her arrival to Hazzard, and she was waiting Enos came back home from the Hospital: she promised to wait for his coming back instead that go to the Hospital, as she wanted to, eager to talk to him.

She sighed: Dukes. After Daisy Duke's stopping her in the middle of the street, Jesse Duke's visiting her at the Hotel just to know what she wanted to from Enos, to ask her to wait his coming back before to talk to him, and to invite her to Dukes' farm in order to have her talk with Enos. That family was a sort of defensive barrage for Enos Strate, and, thinking back of her talk with that middle-aged man, she knew why.

Interesting but not satisfactory information from Jesse Duke: that man avoided to talk 'bout her father.

"_Your father was an ATF's agent, and I and my family were moonshiners."_

Jesse Duke's only words about Andrew Salinger; he also avoided to talk about the car wreck that almost killed her father, and now Erika remembered his sad look and tight features as she asked him about that wreck.

He talked to her about Enos: his honesty, his sweetness, his rough past and his grief; a passionate defense to convince her to be soft with him, to explain her Enos wasn't responsible of her father's death, and he was facing his grief the same way she was facing her one.

She let Jesse Duke's words settle into her heart, and she had to admit her attitude to the man she previously thought of as "the deputy", "the cop" or "that woman's son" changed, since now she thought of him simply as "Enos", thanks to Jesse Duke's talking 'bout him in a so human, passionate and sweet way.

If Daisy Duke's defense (angry and aggressive) failed, Jesse Duke's one won.

* * *

"You're really hungry, aren't you?"

Daisy smiled, looking at Enos eating vanilla's pudding.

"Uncle Jesse's pudding is fantastic, Dais. I can't stop eating it, I'd eat it every day"

"Sugar, are you telling me my pudding is not so good?", Daisy laughed, in her tone her usual sweet teasing.

"You know, Daisy, I love everything of you, but…. yeah, uncle Jesse's pudding is the best", he smiled, "Besides, it's the first time after… my mother's death", his smile faded, "I finally enjoy food's taste. Maybe it's thanks this pudding, or maybe thanks time's going by"

"Oh, Enos", she sat by his side, resting her hand on his shoulder, "Tomorrow you're goin' to come back to the farm, and I promise you a lot of pudding, and everything you'd like to eat". She kissed gently his lips, vanilla's lips, happy there was no more that oxygen's mask to block her, happy to feel his fresh skin under her touch, no more fever, and happy to have him back at the farm. But her happiness couldn't be complete, and it was time to tell him who was waiting for him.

"Enos", she took his right hand in her one, squeezing it gently, "I need to talk to you 'bout… an important thing". She sighed, averting her eyes from his inquisitive and surprise look, focusing on his hand in hers, "There's someone who wants to meet you, to talk to you. Her name is…", she sighed again, "Erika Salinger"

Enos' hand slipped off her one, "What? When? Andrew Salinger's daughter? Or wife? When did she arrive in Hazzard? Did you see her? Did you talk to her?"

"She's Andrew Salinger's daughter, and she arrived the day John Fitzroy hit you. I met her the day after, and I told her not to bother you. If you don't want to talk to her, I and uncle Jesse will find a way to convince her to go away".

Silence.

Daisy, her eyes still focused on her hand (now empty), looked up at him to find a disappointed and sad look: a soft moving of his lips, a knitting of his brows and a gentle bending of his head, the same of Erika (and, for sure, of Andrew Salinger). Daisy realized her mistake, her stupid mistake: she was hurting his pride.

He looked away from her, "Daisy, why are you treating me as a child? It's something I have to solve all by myself. I appreciate your and uncle Jesse's help, but… you can't hide such kind of things in order to protect me. You can't take decisions 'bout things so personal, so … MINE. You knew 'bout it since… then, and are you telling me it… now?", he finally glanced at her, briefly, and Daisy's noticed his tears, "I don't want your PITY! I'm stronger and more mature you, and everybody, think"

"_He can't keep on thinking you care of him as a friend, a close friend but a friend, a friend… you somehow have pity of". _Miss Kate's words. Again that point? Was Enos still at THAT point?

"Enos, it's not PITY, it's LOVE! I want to stay by your side and, yeah, to protect you, not 'cause I think you're weak but 'cause I love you. You were here, in Hospital, burning with fever, how to tell you 'bout Erika Salinger? I had to wait. I'm sorry"

"_It's HIS decision, not your one; it's something too much important 'bout his life and identity"._

She remembered uncle Jesse's words, and she regretted her attempt to convince Erika Salinger to go away, now realizing she couldn't avoid Enos faced HIS past and real identity, but she could only stay by his side, supporting him.

"I'm really sorry, Enos. I can't help but being worried 'cause of everything's happening to you. I hate to see you suffer, you don't deserve all this pain, and it's why I've tried to protect you… over-protect you, OK, against any possible other pain".

"Ok, I understand you, I'm sorry for my words", he took her hand in his one, restoring their previous touch, his voice soft and docile, as usual, "now, please, tell me everything you know 'bout Erika Salinger. What did she tell you? What did she know 'bout her father and my mother? Did she suspect I could be… her brother? Did she hate me because of my mother? Did she know my mother kill her father?"

Feverish questions showing his obsessions, and Erika's obsessions too: Daisy didn't agree with uncle Jesse's idea of "Erika as a gift for him".

She answered his questions, and she noticed he was somehow relieved to know Erika already knew he could be his brother and how, exactly, her father died. She told him Erika didn't seem to hate him but she wanted only to know everything about her father and his mother, the same way he did.

Sitting in his bed, his back against the pillows, he closed his eyes and he bent down to her, resting his head on her shoulder, and Daisy relaxed a bit: he was still hanging on her, a positive thing but also a clear sign of his pain and confusion.

She didn't know what he was thinking of, his eyes still closed and his head on her shoulder, in the room only silence.

* * *

"Did he like the pudding?", uncle Jesse glanced at Daisy, keeping on doing the dishes.

"He loves your pudding, you know", Daisy smiled, wiping plates by her uncle's side.

"Did you tell him 'bout Erika?"

The sound of water splashing into the sink filled for a while the silent kitchen.

"Yeah, he was surprised, obviously, but he seems eager to meet her and to talk to her. He asked me a lot of things 'bout her", Daisy shrugged, "I hope she isn't goin' to shock him or to confuse him even more. I'm really worried".

"Daisy, it's something we can't stop. We don't have to stop it. I convinced Erika to meet Enos here at the farm. We're goin' to be by his side, there's nothing else we can do".

Daisy sighed, "OK, but it doesn't mean that I'm goin' to stay quiet if that woman upsets him, or if she tries to attack him some way or another".

Uncle Jesse shook his head, smiling, "Not catfights at the farm, Daisy, please. First, I'm sure Erika doesn't want to hurt Enos, not on purpose, at least; second, I think Enos' pride wouldn't accept so easily your … ehm… acting like a tiger protecting his puppy. Even if he hangs on us and if he's finally showed us his pain, instead of running away as usual, it doesn't mean his pride is gone".

Uncle Jesse got it, as usual.

"You're right, BUT… I can't help but being so over-protective, and he'd get used to it, putting aside his pride, finally", she wiped her hands and she walked away, heading to her bedroom, an heavy drowsiness and a pesky nausea overwhelming her. She wondered if she needed the anti-acid Doc Appleby gave Enos some months ago: gastritis because of the stress, poor Enos, and poor her.

"Good night, uncle Jesse"

Finally in her room, she got undressed and she slipped under the blankets, falling asleep immediately.


	21. Rain

******"**_The emotion of love gives all of us a misleading illusion of knowing the other." _

_Milan Kundera_

* * *

******RAIN**

When Erika Salinger knocked at the farm's door, Daisy's stomach squirmed; the nausea of the night before was still there, annoying her.

"Enos isn't here, yet. My cousins are goin' to the Hospital to bring him back, and we're waiting for him", her only words to Erika after she opened the door.

Not a welcome from Daisy Duke, but Erika pretended not to hear her annoyed tone, she entered the farm and she walked to uncle Jesse, "I'm going to wait for him. Thank you for your invitation, Mr Duke".

Erika sat on the couch and she looked around, observing the living room, and Daisy, still standing near the door, her arms folded, looked at her, wondering what she was thinking of.

Daisy regretted her staying at the farm while her cousins were going to the Hospital to bring Enos back, but, at the same time, she preferred to be there to wait for that woman, a sort of marking her territory, a sort of telling Erika "this is MY farm, you're a guest, an unwelcome guest, so stay at your place and remember I'm watching you". She thought uncle Jesse was too much gentle with that woman, and, somehow, she wanted to balance that kindness. She would've preferred some days passed before that occasion, but Erika asked to meet Enos as soon as his coming back, unable to wait any more (she said she already waited too much when he was at the Hospital), and uncle Jesse granted her that possibility: so, Andrew Salinger's daughter was already there, even before Enos' arrival.

A brief glance from uncle Jesse and Daisy had a deep sigh, she walked to the couch and she sat near Erika, trying to keep calm, but she couldn't forget Enos' silence after she talked to him about Erika; he was thinking of something, but unfortunately he didn't share his thoughts with her, and it was the first time since his mother's death: was he going back to his previous prudence and of his previous being so offish? She tried to relax thinking of his way to rest his head on her shoulder: no, he wasn't running away, he couldn't run away after what happened between them. She remembered the time spent at the Boarding House after his mother's funeral, their time spent talking 'bout everything and hugging each other (and not only hugging) on his bed; she remembered his spontaneous talking 'bout the way his mother and Andrew Salinger died, expressing her all his doubts. But, no matter how much she tried, his silence, that sudden silence after his showing his pride _("I don't want your PITY! I'm stronger and more mature you, and everybody, think"_) scared her: was he simply offended because of her over-protecting him? Or was there something more deep and complicated in his mind? Daisy knew Enos enough to understand that nothing was so simple with him: for sure he was now pondering on something really wry and confusing, something concerning Erika and Andrew Salinger, something he was hiding to her, so she couldn't keep calm, not at all.

And his silence was, in effect, the real reason why she decided to stay at the farm. She wanted to show him she wasn't so over-protective: she knew pretty well that if she had gone to the Hospital she would've spent their way back to the farm to try to push him to open up 'bout that silence, whereas Bo and Luke would've had a different approach, maybe managing to push him to open up with their friendly nonchalance whereas she would've failed with her excessive worrisome (as the day before). She didn't want to make the same mistake, waking up his pride and, because of his pride, his being offish.

Was she doing the right thing? She sighed realizing how much difficult was to be by Enos' side, and how much difficult was to find the best way to show him her affection and love without let him think it was a sort of pity or a sort of lack of confidence in his strength. For sure their relationship's changed that night at the Institute, but if, at that time, she thought it was the natural finishing of their (HER) previous push and pull, their final (and beautiful) station, she was now realizing it was the beginning of something totally new and somehow mysterious: if she had always thought of Enos as someone she knew better than anybody else, a shy man she could, somehow, totally control, she was lately learning to understand how much complicated and unforeseeable he could be; but she didn't understand exactly how much the pain and the confusion he was going through worked together to make him what he was after his mother's death.

* * *

Bo turned to Enos and then to Luke, a brief glance between the blonde and the brown Duke, a glance full of meaning: worrisome, perplexity and curiosity.

Since they left the Hospital Enos remained silent, looking outside the window of the General's back seat; he wasn't surprised about their arrival to the Hospital instead of Daisy, since Daisy told him, the previous day, she was going to wait for him at the farm; he already knew about Erika Salinger's coming to the farm and he knew Erika was probably already at the farm waiting for him.

So, Bo and Luke were wondering what he was thinking of so deeply and so intensely: he was going to meet the young woman who could be his sister; and, if she wasn't his sister, she was the daughter of his mother's lover (a tricky and embarrassing love affair ended in a dramatic way, a love affair everybody in Hazzard was talking of, a love affair bringing John Fitzroy to attack Enos).

It wasn't surprising he was so silent and lost in his thoughts.

"Everything's OK, buddy? How's your wrist?"

Luke's words woke Enos up.

"Pain-killers work", he shrugged, turning again to the window after a brief smile to Luke.

"Are you worried?", a direct question, this time from Bo.

"No. But I'm eager to remove this cast. Possum on a gum bush, I can only use my right arm, and it's difficult", another brief smile.

"Enos, I'm talking 'bout Erika Salinger".

Enos' smile faded, "No. I'm not worried, I'm just curious to… know what she knows 'bout… well…. you know, Bo", another shrug.

Another glance between Bo and Luke: it was clear Enos didn't want to talk 'bout it, so it was pointless to go on. They had a try, as Daisy asked them, but they stopped in front of Enos' resistance, as Daisy warned them.

* * *

Daisy looked at Bo and Luke helping Enos coming out the General: a difficult thing for Enos because of his useless left arm and his broken ribs… a difficult thing for him even when his left arm worked, in effect.

She observed everything: his walking to the farm, his entering the living room, and his first look at Erika Salinger.

He stared at her, looking carefully for something, and she stared at him.

She looked at their shaking hands, seriously and shyly at the same time.

She couldn't understand what he was thinking of, and his words slapped her.

"I'd like to talk to Miss Salinger alone", he lowered his head, sighing, "please. I appreciate you invited her here, uncle Jesse, but… it's something really personal".

Daisy bit her lip to remain silent, remembering uncle Jesse's words and fighting against her instinct to protect him: _"I think Enos' pride wouldn't accept so easily your acting like a tiger protecting his puppy. It's something too much important 'bout HIS life and identity". _

"Bo, Luke and I have a lot of things to do at the barn", a clear look at his nephews, "and Daisy has to do the whashing", another clear look at his niece, "but… if you need us…. anything from us… just ask", and a final clear and meaningful look at Enos.

Enos nodded, "Thanks, uncle Jesse", and he turned to Daisy, smiling, a meaningful smile _("I'm OK, don't worry, Dais, we'll talk later")._

Not completely relieved by his smile, she nodded and she smiled, leaving Enos and Erika alone, her look lingering on them sitting at the kitchen's table.

* * *

Silence.

He moved the food here and there in his plate with his fork, without eating.

During the dinner, Erika Salinger already gone after her talking with Enos, Dukes looked at Enos without asking him anything: they didn't want to ask him what Erika told him, but they couldn't pretend nothing happened talking of useless or funny things.

Uncle Jesse's advice was stuck in their minds: "If Enos wants to talk 'bout it, he'll find a way to talk 'bout it. Don't force him and let him take his time to put up with this thing".

Daisy was still fighting against her instinct to protect him from his pain, and finally her instinct won: after dinner, looking at him walking to the guest's room, she couldn't help but following him.

Her hands reached his ones as he tried to unbutton his shirt, a difficult action because of his left hand half-covered by the cast.

"Sugar, let me help you"

He let her unbutton his shirt, and when she looked at him she noticed he was smiling.

"Daisy Duke. Having you unbuttoning my shirt has always been my dream. And not only my shirt"

She opened her eyes wide, surprised by his smile and his sly confidence, and at the same time relieved by his relaxing talk after his long silence, so she laughed, "Enos Strate, you're really something else", her hands on his bare chest.

"I want only to sleep, now, only to sleep, but, please, don't go away", his smile turned sad and Daisy's heart skipped a beat.

"_Let him put up with this thing. He can't take things for himself anymore, and he's understood it"._

"Ok, I'm going to stay here with you", she kissed gently his lips and he answered her kiss, calming her worrisome.

Uncle Jesse didn't protest against her decision to spend the night sleeping by Enos' side, as he didn't protest against the same decision the night of Rose Strate's funeral, whereas, since he didn't know anything about the night at the Institute, he couldn't protest against it; and if it was OK for uncle Jesse, it was OK for Bo and Luke too.

Drowsiness.

Again that drowsiness overwhelming her, despite her attempt to stay awake hoping for Enos opening up; she fell asleep when he was still awake, and in her sleeping she could feel him tossing and turning by her side.

In her deeper and deeper sleeping she heard the pelting rain outside the window confusing with Enos' soft calling her and hugging her, and she couldn't understand if it was real or a dream.

Uncle Jesse's voice woke her up, entering her dreams and mixing with the sound of the pelting rain outside the window.

"Daisy… please, wake you up, we have to go out and look for Enos"

Look for Enos… Look for Enos?

The meaning of uncle Jesse's words finally forced her drowsiness's barrier.

Enos wasn't by her side. He wasn't at the farm.

He was gone.


	22. Hidden

"_My destiny doomed me to be in this desert land. I will map it."_

_David Grossman_

* * *

**HIDDEN**

Luke's statement, "He took uncle Jesse's truck".

Bo's surprise, "But… he barely can use his left arm!"

Uncle Jesse's conclusion, "He managed to drive, obviously, some way or another"

And Daisy's impatience, "Don't waste our time here wondering how he managed to drive the truck, but go look for him!"

So, before the dawn, the General Lee and Dixie left the farm, heading to opposite directions in order to find uncle Jesse's truck… and Enos, hoping not to find him in a pond or in a ravine.

* * *

Erika looked at the ceiling after a night spent tossing and turning in her bed, in her mind her first talk with Enos Strate. His brother, no doubt about it.

* * *

THE DAY BEFORE

"Enos isn't here, yet. My cousins are goin' to the Hospital to bring him back, and we're waiting for him", Daisy Duke's only words when she opened the door. Not a welcome, obviously, but Erika decided to avoid any possible fight with Enos Strate's defender.

She walked past Daisy Duke, approaching Jesse Duke, "I'm going to wait for him. Thank you for your invitation, Mr Duke", shaking hands with him and sitting on the couch, observing everything around her in order to avoid to look at Daisy Duke who sat by her side, silently, lost in her thoughts.

Erika wasn't in the mood for talking with Daisy, and Daisy wasn't in the mood for talking with Erika, so both women remained silent 'till a car stopped in front of the farm.

Daisy ran to the door, and Erika followed her: she looked at Enos Strate coming out the orange car (from the window? Had that car NO doors?), helped by his friends, the blonde and the brown guy, the ones who helped him the previous week. Enos showed all his difficulty in coming out the car, and it was for sure because of his plastered left arm.

Erika observed him walking to the door and entering the living room.

His first look to her: a mix of curiosity, anxiety and something else Erika couldn't recognize.

Hazel eyes: totally different from Andrew Salinger's eyes, the same eyes of Rose Strate (eyes Erika knew because of the pictures now stuck in her mind, pictures she had in her hand-bag).

His hand: warm and gently trembling.

"I'd like to talk to Miss Salinger alone, please. I appreciate you invited her here, uncle Jesse, but… it's something really personal".

His voice. It was the first time Erika heard his voice, and it surprised her: she'd have expected a different voice from that tall and muscular man, a deeper and lower voice instead of that voice, that strange pitch, higher than expected.

Miss Salinger: his way to call her.

Uncle Jesse: did he call that man "uncle" even if he wasn't his uncle? In effect, it wasn't surprising: Jesse Duke showed his genuine affection for Enos the evening he talked to her, and obviously Enos had the same affection for the middle-aged man. It seemed Dukes were Enos' family, and remembering what Jesse Duke told her about Enos' family and past, Erika understood why.

"Bo, Luke and I have a lot of things to do at the barn", Jesse Duke looked at his nephews, "and Daisy has to do the whashing", then at his niece, "but… if you need us…. anything from us… just ask", and finally at Enos.

Erika noticed Daisy biting her lip: it was clear she didn't want to leave, but her uncle's look was that kind of look which didn't allow negative answers. Erika thought Jesse Duke knew how to bring up his nephews and niece: he was sweet and protective (she knew it thinking of his words about Enos), but at the same time strict.

Finally sitting at the kitchen's table, face to face, Erika focused on the man in front of her: older than her, hazel eyes, brown and straight hair, tall and muscular. A brief shy and sweet smile, somehow childish. Cute.

"So, you are Erika… Salinger", his first words to her in his strange pitch, a different way to pronounce her name (a mix of indifference and sweetness) and her surname (a mix of indifference and … disgust? … rage?... worry?).

"Yeah, and you are Enos… Strate", she answered him the same way, showing all her disgust for the surname Strate, the surname of the woman who killed her father.

Enos caught her tone and he lowered his head, a brief grimace of disappointment, and that grimace made her heart skip a beat: her father way to show his disappointment.

"OK, sorry, we're starting in the wrong way. I'm here to know… about my father and your mother. Do you know if… they kept on meeting after my father left Hazzard, nearly 30 years ago?", she held her breath, waiting for his answer.

"No, I know nothing about my mother's life after she left Hazzard, except her staying at…", a shadow of embarrassment in his eyes, "Ridge Institute, from time to time along these years. I never heard her talking 'bout your father", he shook his head, "I'm sorry, but I can't help you 'bout it".

Erika sighed, "At Ridge Institute nobody knows 'bout your mother's love affairs. Nobody, Doc Martin… Kate Wilson"

"Did you go to Ridge Institute? Did you talk to Doc Martin… and… Miss Kate?", his voice's pitch raised as he looked at Erika, his eyes open wide.

"Obviously! I wanted to see where… your mother killed my father", a sudden rush of rage, but soon after Erika regretted it, her voice turning soft, "Sorry, I know it's not your fault"; the man in front of her wasn't responsible of her father's death, but they were sharing a same grief, even if in a opposite situation.

"Do you hate me?", his voice a whisper, his eyes down on his hands, the right hand fidgeting with the cast covering his left forearm.

Erika had a deep sigh, "No, I don't hate you", her eyes on his nervous hands: a man so tall and muscular, so physically strong, but psychologically so fragile, "I'd like to hate you. I think it'd be more simple, but I can't hate you. Rationally, I know you have nothing to do with what happened to my father, and… moreover… you are too much alike my father. You know why, don't you?"

His right hand froze and he seemed holding his breath before to look again up at her, "Am I… alike… your father?", in his eyes surprise, a sad surprise.

"No doubt 'bout it. You're pretty different physically: you're brown and my father was blond, you have hazel eyes and my father had blue eyes, you're taller than him, but… some of your gestures, some of your facial looks… I see my father through you"

He averted his eyes from her, so she couldn't understand what's going on in his mind. Was he shocked? Surprised? Sad? Confused? Relieved? What?

She opened her hand-bag, gently resting the pictures in it on the table in front of him, his eyes now again driven to her, and then to the pictures: eyes opening wide as he looked at pictures of his mother and Andrew Salinger in their younger days.

"Where did you…?", his hands were trembling.

"In my father's locker at the Police Department, in a box. His secret".

And his hands started to shake even more when, after the pictures of his mother and Andrew Salinger, he realized he was now looking at HIS picture during his Police Academy's swearing-in-ceremony. He looked up at her, in his eyes a silent question.

Erika took the two newspaper's cuttings from her bag, "I think he knew you were his son… or, at least, he supposed it. I don't know if he was sure 'bout it, anyway"

A shocked glance to the newspaper's cuttings, "In his locker? THESE newspapers?", his voice cracked and he stood up, walking to the kitchen's window and looking outside, his breathe heavy as after a long run.

"I know you're shocked, the same way I was shocked the first time I knew 'bout these pictures, only one week ago. I confess I hated you because of these pictures. I hated you because you were a sort of … ghost… between my father and me, between my father and my mother. But, again, rationally, I've understood I can't hate you. It's not your fault. Besides, my father has always been very sweet and caring to me and to my mother… whereas, I suppose, you had a worse life than mine".

No answer from him, his eyes still lost outside the window, his arms along his body and his shoulders down.

Erika sighed, understanding their talking was over, "OK, I think you need some time to… put up with this thing. It's the same for me, so it's better to take a pause, now".

Only a brief nod from him.

When she walked out the farm, heading to her car, Dukes showed up, looking at her and trying to read her mind: Enos Strate's barrier, Enos Strate's defenders.

* * *

A frantic knocking at her door woke Erika up from her thoughts.

"What did you tell him yesterday?", Daisy Duke stormed in the room when Erika opened the door; she sighed: that woman hadn't the gift of good manners.

"What do you want from me, Daisy Duke? Ask him! He's your boyfriend, isn't he?"

"I'D ASK HIM IF I KNEW WHERE HE IS! WE'VE LOOKED FOR HIM EVERYWHERE!"

Erika blinked in surprise, realizing Daisy wasn't alone, but her uncle and her cousins were with her, standing on the threshold, all Dukes' eyes on her, waiting for her answer.

* * *

In his little shelter, Enos looked at the ceiling.

His left arm hurt because of his long driving (uncle Jesse's truck from the farm to the Boarding House, and his car from the Boarding House), a pulsing pain, but he thanked that pain 'cause it took his mind off his thoughts, or, at least, it'd have taken it off for a while. For a while, before to face his inner demons again, in his strenuous attempt to spare Daisy HIS weight.

He remembered Daisy sleeping by his side, her deep sleeping, so deep he wasn't able to wake her up when he wanted to talk to her. He remembered her paleness: she was exhausted, exhausted because of his hanging on her.

He had to solve things all by himself, to put up with that thing all by himself, carrying HIS weight instead of hang on someone else, especially on Daisy, pressing her.

* * *

**A brief note: it's impressing, and positive, to realize how many people are reading this story, day by day, step by step, slowly, new readers starting from the beginning (even now, months after I've started this story) and reading it chapter by chapter, and "old" readers keeping on reading it (reading any new chapter soon after posted). I'm surprised, really! THANKS! Ok, now, if you want to, just stop and REVIEW! **

**More about me and my... philosophy (?, especially 'bout the frequent quotes from Murakami and Yoshimoto... and it's not a case... especially the ones from Murakami, but I'll reveal it at the END of the story) on my profile page.**


	23. Waiting for cherry blossoms

_"Winter solitude-_

_in a world of one colour_

_the sound of the wind."_

_Matsuo Basho_

* * *

**WAITING FOR CHERRY BLOSSOMS**

Five days.

Days spent in a complete and deep silence except for Nature's sounds around him: the wind between trees' branches, the thud of the snow falling off the branches (the last snow of winter, its fight against the upcoming spring almost over), the water of a river. But, surprisingly, nights seemed more noisy than days; sleepless nights spent staring into the darkness, his ears sensing any scaring sound: owls and wolves showing him their presence in the nearby forest, wind (always that wind) and creaking around him (the wooden cabin's sort of snoring).

Sleepless nights alternated to drowsy days.

Another drowsy day lying down near the little stove.

When his stomach grumbled he sat up, then he slowly stood up, heading to the little kitchen stove and to the fridge: scrambled eggs, cheese, pickles and bread, his usual lunch.

Despite his plastered arm, he was getting used to that impairment: his left hand was half covered by the cast, and it allowed him to use at least his fingers; cooking wasn't impossible, after all.

He could reach the nearby little town by foot (30 minutes by foot) to buy things he needed to, so there's no need to drive his car, a painful act. He liked to walk in that enchanted white world, it helped him to refresh his mind and it distracted him: 30 minutes to reach the town and 30 minutes to come back to his shelter, usually after lunch, nearly after every lunch, the winter sun slowly changing in spring sun, caressing his hair and face and reflecting on snow; a pleasant break from his painful thoughts.

Salinger, Strate: what's his identity? He had to build up and accept his now confused new identity before to go back to Hazzard. It'd have been a lot better to find out he wasn't the son of Andrew Salinger, it'd have been a lot better to find out it was only a rumor, but his worst nightmare became true: Erika Salinger showed him he was Andrew Salinger's son, definitively, no doubt 'bout it.

His worst suspicion becoming reality, his last hope gone.

Sitting at the table of the unique, except for a little bathroom, room of the cabin (at the same time kitchen, living room and bedroom), he chewed his lunch forcing himself to enjoy its taste, trying to remember himself it had a good taste.

Taste of scrambled eggs, and his mind was suddenly driven to Dukes' farm, and to Daisy: he ran away from them, he ran away from HER. He wanted to spare her his weight and his pain, and he was trying his best to endure his loneliness, fighting back his burning desire to hang on her, to let her comfort him in her unique way (just her presence was enough for him). He fought against his desire to go back to her with the image of her sleeping by his side, totally exhausted, her face pale and her features tight. He crashed her.

Coming out the cabin, ready for his walk to town, he decided he'd have phoned to the farm: he didn't want to hang on Daisy, crashing her with his pain, but he was pretty conscious that everybody was worrying for him, and he couldn't let Daisy worry for him that way.

Walking on the path surrounded by trees, he sighed thinking of what he'd have said, his breathe condensing in the air: it was still winter, late winter, there, in the Georgia's Blue Ridge Mountains, after all.

* * *

When the phone rang at the farm, early in the afternoon, Daisy was sleeping on the couch, an heavy drowsiness overwhelming her, as usual, lately, after lunch, and not only after lunch, to be honest: she wanted only to sleep, despite her worrisome and her shock about Enos' leaving.

Nausea and drowsiness: it was probably the consequence of the last months, since Rose Strate's arrival in Hazzard, months spent worrying for Enos. The last month, after Rose Strate's death, was even heavier, trying to protect Enos in any possible way from crashing. And Erika Salinger, at the end, the straw that broke the camel's back: Enos crashed, running away from anyone, Daisy's worst fear despite he seemed to learn to hang on her and on her family.

Where did she fail? WHERE? That day at the Hospital, being too much overprotective and awakening his proud, so he started, again, to think of himself as pitiful? Or the day he left the Hospital, her decision to let Bo and Luke bring him back home having the opposite result she wanted to? And that night, why that night, when he was trying to wake her up, didn't she wake up? WHY?

She slowly opened her eyes, the phone ringing in her head, and she saw uncle Jesse grabbing the receiver.

"Hello, this is Jesse Duke speaking", expectation and fear in his voice.

Daisy sat up, brushing her eyes, her mind still in her dreamy world (nightmares more than dreams).

"Enos! Boy, where are you?"

Her mind jumped immediately into the real world, and she rushed near her uncle, taking the receiver from his hands and pressing it against her ear, "Enos, sugar, are you OK?", her first thought being his safety because of her terrific conjectures along the last days: he was alive (not dead somewhere, maybe in a ravine, or in a river, or… she erased any terrific image of that kind from her mind) and it was a good news.

His voice at the other side of the receiver, so near but so distant, "I'm… OK", not convincing, "I wanted only to…", confusion, "to let you know I'm… OK", less and less convincing, "I need some time to understand and to face what's happened, all by myself, 'cause I've already annoyed you… too much", Enos' style, his worrying for her more than for himself. No matter how much she came closer him, he kept on building up a wall, even if, in his wry way of thinking, a wall protecting her (so a wall of love) but a wall.

"Enos, what are you talking about, sugar?", she tried to keep her voice calm and caring, avoiding to slip into hysterics, "You've NOT annoyed me, you've NOT annoyed anybody. We're worrying for you, we don't know where you are… we want you back, please", her tone changing in a sort of painful prayer despite her attempt to remain quiet and calming.

"I have to carry my weight, I can't hang on you, crashing you, Dais", heroic sacrifice, his confession he was carrying a weight (so, he was NOT OK), a weight crashing him so he didn't want to let it crash someone else. He couldn't face it all by himself, Daisy knew it, uncle Jesse knew it, but… did Enos know it? Obviously, no.

"Enos", her voice a whisper, her uncle's eyes on her making her blush, "what's the sense of being in love, of being… fiancées, if we don't share the bad moments? Do you remember what I told you that day, at the lake, 'bout… sharing?", uncle Jesse's hand squeezing gently her trembling shoulder.

Silence, and Daisy held her breath, hoping that silence meant his doubt, his wondering about the truth in her words, his understanding his mistake in running away.

"I love you, Daisy. And you love me, I know it", at least he was aware of her love, that idea of her having pity of him finally erased from his mind, "BUT… I need some time to… think of… to THINK", again, confusion, "and I'm here, away from you, 'cause I love you", she let go her held breath, in an exasperated sigh, "I'm sorry, but I need time".

Entering the farm, Bo and Luke froze at the sight of uncle Jesse and Daisy near the phone, Daisy with the receiver pressed against her ear and uncle Jesse circling her shoulders with his arm. Bo looked at Luke, a shadow of fear in his eyes, a silent and scaring question: did someone find Enos'… body? Their worst fear since Enos' leaving, well knowing their friend wasn't fine (neither physically nor, mostly, psychologically).

"Enos… please", Daisy's whisper, and Bo and Luke understood whom she was talking to, coming closer her and their uncle, fear on their face changing into curiosity and worrisome.

When Daisy put the receiver down, her family's eyes were on her, serious and sad eyes.

"He wants to stay alone…. somewhere, I don't know where, to…. THINK of… I don't know what", disappointment, rage and sadness in her voice, before to rush to the bathroom and to vomit the lunch. It was time to go to Doc Appleby and ask for a good anti-acid.

* * *

Coming out the telephone-box, Enos fought against a rush of nausea: he wanted Daisy, he needed Daisy, he wanted to hug her, kiss her, cry on her shoulder, BUT he couldn't do it, for HER sake.

He started to run to his shelter (? Or trap?), run as fast as possible, despite the pulsing pain in the right side of his chest, a pain radiating from his broken ribs, more and more as his breath became heavier and heavier.

* * *

Doc Appleby's eyes looked down at Daisy's nervous hands, finding the best way to ask her the most obvious question.

The most obvious question in the most simple and soft way, "Daisy, is it possible you're… pregnant?"

The doctor observed the surprise on Daisy's face, then her pondering about his question and finally her shock, "My period is… late, but… it's not the first time, it's always late when I'm under stress".

Doc Appleby coughed softly, a brief pause to find a way to say the most obvious thing, "Well, yeah, but, you feel sick, and your drowsiness…. Stress could be a possibility, if there's no other possibility. If you're SURE you're not pregnant, if there's NO possibility about it, well, it's stress, otherwise, it's better…", he stopped, realizing Daisy's sudden awareness.

* * *

Enos collapsed on the couch of the cabin, burying his face against the pillow and hugging it, useless and lifeless surrogate of his lifeboat.

* * *

A new spring sun touched Daisy's skin as she came out Doc Appleby's house, a dreamy smile on her face, a smile fading into incredulity and worrisome, and then blooming again.

She wondered how she didn't realize it before Doc Appleby's questions. It was so obvious, but she was too much worried about what's happening to Enos to correctly explain her body's signals.

She remembered the night at the Institute, their first night, and then their meetings at Enos' place for lunch before he ended up in Hospital because of John Fitzroy.

Enos wasn't her first man, he wasn't the only man she's slept with; she's had only few men, a lot of crushes and flings but only few men she's slept with (men now she totally regretted and she was ashamed of), so she wasn't inexperienced about it, and she's always been careful. Except with Enos: that night at the Institute was a sort of dream, a magic, and their following meetings too were wrapped in that magic aura, to the point she's never thought of the physical side (and its consequences) of her new relationship with Enos, focusing more on its dreamy and emotional side.

Enos was running away 'cause he felt responsible of her tiredness, drowsiness and nausea, and, in effect, he was responsible of everything, but in a different way he thought of.

She was going to be a mother, and Enos a father.

He had to know it in order to stop to feel responsible of her state (in the wrong way); if he had known 'bout her pregnancy, he wouldn't have run away any more 'cause of his strong sense of duty and of his love for her.

She was carrying Enos' child in her womb, and that child was the best gift for him, the perfect way to ease his pain and his confusion about his past, identity and family: SHE and THE BABY were his family and his future.

No past, no Strate, no Salinger, nobody and nothing else, but she, Enos, and their baby.

* * *

**OK, now. It's the first time I come to this point in Enos/Daisy relationship (I wrote of it in some epilogue, to show their future as a family, or in some "memories?", LOL, but never along a story). As I've said in the note at the the end of the first chapter, this story is a bit different, and more mature (because of various hard topics in it), than any other story I wrote in the past. So, please, if you like it, REVIEW! (and if you don't like it, too, telling me what's wrong, strange, unbelievable, OOC and so on, in your opinion). Thanks for reading, anyway: if you're reading THIS note, and if you read all the story 'till this chapter, well, I suppose there's a good reason (unless the reason is "I want to know where this crap goes, at the end...OMG", LOL, I hope NOT this reason). **


	24. Interlude

_"Follow me, reader! Who told you that there is no true, faithful, eternal love in this world! May the liar's vile tongue be cut out! Follow me, my reader, and me alone, and I will show you such a love!"_

_Mikhail Bulgakof_

* * *

**INTERLUDE**

Two weeks.

Two weeks after his call, then silence.

Under the shower's jet, Daisy gently touched her belly, still flat: too early to see her new condition, but not too early to feel the new life inside her, Enos' and her baby.

Nobody except Doc Appleby knew 'bout it, and nobody would have known it before Enos: he had to know it before her family did, so she was trying to hide it behind the word "worrisome"; it could explain her lack of appetite and her daily drowsiness (easy to convince her uncle and cousins she couldn't sleep during the night so she was tired during the day).

But she couldn't hide it for months.

Besides, the real problem was: where was Enos?

* * *

Finally his left arm was free.

Enos looked at the doctor of the little town, "Thank you, Doc", grateful the doctor removed the cast: already a month since John Fitzroy broke his arm, and Hospital's doctors told him he had to stand that cast for one month, and he stood it, now managing to convince the doctor of the small Hospital of the town to remove it.

Doc Fay stared at the man in front of him: faint beard, tired eyes (as someone who couldn't sleep), ruffled hair and soft voice.

Enos noticed the inquiring eyes of the doctor.

"I'm not a fugitive, doctor, don't worry", he took his I.D. and his badge off his wallet, "I'm a deputy… in convalescence".

A brief look at that I.D. and at the badge: Enos Strate, Deputy, Hazzard County.

Doc Fay's mind started to analyze that name and that place: Hazzard County wasn't so far away, only two hours by car, and he knew Doc Appleby, there, an old friend; Strate, wasn't the name of the woman committing suicide at Ridge Institute, the Institute clearly visible from his little town?

"Thank you", the deputy in front of him stood up, and Doc Fay kept on looking at him. Probably he lived in one of the little cabins for rant scattered around the town, and, thinking about it, he remembered that man coming to town nearly every afternoon (early in the afternoon) in the last weeks. Why did he spend his convalescence so away from his town? Was he running away from something? Was he related to that woman, Rose Strate? He remembered someone telling the son of that woman was a cop, and her lover too was a cop: rumors of a quiet small town, where the echo of that rough news from the nearby Institute spread like fire on dry grass during summer.

"Are you… related to Rose Strate?", Doc Fay couldn't hide any more his curiosity.

Enos looked at him in shock, "How do you know…?", he stopped, stupid question; Ridge Institute was near the little town, and he knew pretty well how rumors worked in little towns. Besides, it was his choice to run away from Hazzard to hide himself in one of the town near Ridge Institute (and Miss Kate), his last shelter in case he couldn't stand his loneliness, so he couldn't be surprised if someone knew his mother and…

… Sudden awareness.

"Doc Fay, did you know my mother?", his heart started to race, waiting for the Doc's answer, not knowing what answer he feared the most.

Doc Fay had a deep sigh before to talk, "Yeah. I saw her several times along the years, before… her last staying at the Institute. Sometimes she came here, it's one of the towns nearest Ridge Institute, and patients there, patients who can spend some time away from the Institute, came here for a walk, for a coffee, and so on; a brief pause from their life inside the Institute. So, yeah, I saw her several times".

Enos swallowed against the lump in his throat, forcing himself to ask what he feared the most, "and… was she alone or…?"

Doc Fay understood what the pale man in front of him (paler and paler since they started talking about Rose Strate) was asking him: "I saw her several times with a man, a blonde man, blue eyes. They seemed a… happy couple".

Enos was shocked, a double shock: his mother and Andrew Salinger met each other "along the years" (using Doc's words), as a "happy couple". So, he had an answer to Erika Salinger's question, a bad answer for her.

* * *

"Erika, you can't stay any more in that town. Not in your condition. You knew what you wanted to know, or, at least, you tried to know what you wanted to know, and now it's time to come back home", Josh Baldini's imperative, but sweet, voice.

"My condition? Josh, being pregnant is not an illness", lying down on her bed, wrapped in her bathrobe, Erika sighed: overprotective man, but she loved her husband also because of it.

Being pregnant: she looked at her body, a body of a woman who seemed only a bit overweight, the signs of her pregnancy not totally manifest, yet.

"Besides, Enos is missing… I mean, he run away, and nobody knows where he is. And I feel a bit responsible of it. I've shocked him, even if I didn't want to. I can't go away, NOW. I'm… worried". She was worried: there was no other word to explain her feelings.

"WHAT?", she looked up at the ceiling, exasperated, "Ok, OK! If you want to…"

Josh was coming to Hazzard.

* * *

"Happy couple"…. "along the years"

He didn't want to believe in Doc Fay's words. He couldn't think of his mother and Andrew Salinger as a "happy couple", meeting "along the years", whereas he was living his hell with uncle Opie and aunt Minnie after his father's death (Thomas Strate was is father! Not Andrew Salinger! No matter what's the blood flowing into his veins).

In the middle of the night he came out the little cabin, only his underpants on, letting the rain lash his bare skin and hoping it could wash away his thoughts and his desperation.

* * *

In the morning, Bo and Luke entered the farm in a rush.

"We know where Enos is!"

Uncle Jesse and Daisy looked at them in shock.

"We met Doc Appleby, and he told us one of his friends, Doc Fay, called him to ask him 'bout Enos", Bo, excited, kept on talking 'bout what Doc Fay told Doc Appleby, about Enos' condition (not soothing), and, the most important thing, where he stayed.

That small town near Ridge Institute: why didn't they think he could stay near that Institute? It was so obvious, after all. Soon after he ran away, in effect, they called Miss Kate at the Institute, hoping he reached her, but unfortunately Miss Kate didn't see him, and they didn't think that, even if he didn't meet Miss Kate, he could be nearby: that place, that mountain and that wood, had been his shelter for so many years along his life, before his mother's death, it wasn't surprising he was driven to it.

"OK, I go", Daisy took her jacket and she walked to the door, turning to her uncle and her cousins before to go out, so preventing their questions and their protests, "and I'm going ALONE. I'll find a way to bring him back, trust me".

She knew what to tell him in order to bring him back home, and it was something that needed intimacy, a lot of intimacy.

"But… Daisy", Luke's vain attempt, stopped by Daisy's fierce eyes.

"Trust me, Luke, I'll bring him back"

* * *

**A shorter chapter, I'm sorry, but this is a sort of bridge to the next one, for sure more interesting :-))**

**Stay tuned. **


	25. Carrying this gift

_"Immature love says: 'I love you because I need you.' Mature love says 'I need you because I love you."_

_Erich Fromm_

* * *

**CARRYING THIS GIFT**

Two hours after leaving the farm, Daisy arrived to the little town, and it wasn't difficult to know from people where "the stranger with the plastered arm" stayed.

She saw his car, and her heart skipped a bit; she found him, nearly after three weeks from his leaving she found him, safe and sound (physically safe and sound, at least).

She parked the car near his one and she walked on a path heading to the little cabin, a little path surrounded by high pines and oaks. She inhaled the scent of the upcoming spring, enjoying it and realizing that scent had a good effect on her nausea (or, more probably, it wasn't the scent but her relief to win over her nausea).

After a brief walking, she arrived to a small glade, and, in that glade, she saw a little cabin with a porch.

Her heart skipped another beat: she reached him, she was going to meet him and to tell him about the baby she was carrying in her womb. A sudden doubt: what if her pregnancy would have shocked him even more instead of cheer him up? For sure he'd have been shocked, soon after knowing it, but Daisy hoped that, after the obvious shock (she too was shocked soon after she realized she was carrying a baby inside her body), he'd have thought of it as a gift, a new future, a new family (a way to ease his confusion about his past and identity).

She saw him.

He was lying on the porch swing, motionless.

Daisy hurried up to the porch, holding her breath, in her mind still those terrific images, images of Enos dead somewhere after committing suicide as his mother: that thought surfaced to her mind since his leaving, despite her attempt to remember herself Enos wasn't like his mother, he was upset and shocked because of everything happened (and it was pretty normal, anybody in Enos' shoes would have been so shocked and upset), but he wouldn't have ever done something like that. No way.

Coming closer him she relaxed: he was peacefully sleeping in that spring light.

She observed the sunlight turning the ebony brown of his ruffled hair in a brighter shade of brown; she smiled sadly looking at his trembling eyelids, at his half-open lips and at his faint beard; he observed his body on the porch swing, his black leather jacket, his checked red shirt, his blue jeans and his black shoes (the ones he wore when he worked, the big difference, now, being that those shoes weren't polished as usual: he usually managed to keep his shoes as polished as possible despite Hazzard's dust and mud, but it seemed now he wasn't interested of it): a creased and sad look, so different of his usual tidy look.

"Oh Enos", she whispered his name and she gently brushed his hair aside, uncovering his forehead and provoking his sudden awake in an explosion of rambling movements of arms and legs and in a squeaking of confused words.

She couldn't help but smiling, recognizing the ol' sweet and clumsy Enos, her Enos.

Enos' eyes finally focused on Daisy, the shade of sleep still on them, "Daisy?".

He rubbed his eyes and he shook briefly his head, trying to move away that invisible shade, as he was trying to understand if it was reality or a dream.

He sat up and he looked at her, surprised, "Daisy? How did you find me?", his voice hoarse.

"Doc Fay called Doc Appleby"

Enos shook his head, his right hand covering his face, "I showed him my I.D. and badge. It'd have been a lot better if I hadn't asked him to remove the plaster", he looked away, into the woods, "it'd have been a lot better if I hadn't talked to him at all". He shook again his head and he sighed, looking at her, "So, you've found me".

"Enos, did you realize how much you worried me? And uncle Jesse, Bo, Luke", she sat by his side, taking his right hand in hers, "what's the sense of running away like that? You CAN'T face this thing all by yourself, Enos".

"You're right. I'm sorry", defeat, a perfect show of his tiredness, and a shiver, "It's better to enter, Dais". He stood up and he entered the little cabin, and Daisy followed him.

She observed the room and the unmade sofabed, the environment around him reflecting his outward creased appearance, and probably his inner confusion too. She sighed.

"Uh, sorry for the… confusion", he realized her surprise and he started to tidy up, picking up various papers, comics and books here and there; he probably tried to distract himself reading things he usually liked to read, especially tales and comics. Everybody in Hazzard knew Enos Strate liked reading that kind of childish stuff, and Daisy wondered if his past (the lack of an happy childhood) was the reason of that attempt to prolong a sort of childhood into adulthood thanks of that kind of passions.

"Enos, it's OK. Please, sit down and have a talk. I need to talk to you".

He stopped and he looked at her, "Give me some time to… ", he rubbed his faint beard, "this isn't my best look, I'm sorry", without waiting for her answer he headed to bathroom.

Alone in the room, Daisy sat on the sofabed, the only sound the water splashing in the shower.

She looked at the fire in the little stove and she wondered how she was going to tell him about her pregnancy; why was he so offish? Was the time he seemed so natural and at ease around her lost? She remembered their last time at the Boarding House, the day he told her about how his mother killed Andrew Salinger, his kiss before to leave. Was everything lost?

She woke up from her thoughts when he sat by her side, covered with a bathrobe, perfectly shaven, his hair still damp. Seeing him only covered by the bathrobe relaxed her: no, his way to move around her without the previous shyness but with a new confidence wasn't lost.

"I needed some time to… ponder on things. I didn't want to worry you", he looked at the stove avoiding to meet her eyes, but at least he was talking spontaneously, and Daisy could bet he used the time under the shower's jet to find those words.

"I suppose you wanted to ponder on what Erika told you. About your likeness to her father and about those pictures"

A brief silence as he glanced at her, before to look again at the stove and to keep on speaking, "And I suppose you asked Erika about everything she told me".

He was right: after he left, she asked Erika what she told him, and she managed to convince Erika to tell her everything (or, it was better to say, uncle Jesse managed to convince Erika to tell them everything about her talk with Enos). It was after that talk with Erika those dramatic images started to surface into Daisy's mind, scaring her: it wasn't surprising Enos was shocked to know he was really Andrew Salinger's son, since, 'till Erika revelations, it was still a possibility, for him; even more shocking, probably, knowing Andrew Salinger knew (or, at least, he suspected) to be his father, somehow "following" him.

"I'd have preferred to know I'm NOT Andrew Salinger's son. I wanted to solve that doubt, but… I'd have preferred not this way", he expressed perfectly what Daisy thought, "I don't know who I am, I'm confused".

She rested gently her hand on his knee, "You are YOU. Nothing can change your past, your experiences, your friends, your work, and so on. You are the man I love", she took a deep breath, ready for her revelation, "and you are the…"

He stopped her words with a sudden and surprising kiss, then he hugged her, "I missed you, Dais. Thank you for coming, I confess I hoped it but I hadn't the force to call you, to ask you to come here. I hadn't the force to go back to Hazzard. I was somehow blocked in this spot. I need you but I don't want to… hurt you, crashing you with my problems. Lately you were so tired, and pale, so I understood I couldn't keep on hanging on you, but I had to solve my problems all by myself. But… I can't, Dais, I can't solve things all by myself, I need you… 'cause I love you, Dais", a quick and feverish talk, as he was forcing his deepest and saddest thoughts outside (so admitting his weakness) before to regret it.

Daisy wrapped her arms around his neck, "Oh, Enos. You are so sweet and caring. Please, don't run away anymore. I need you. I… and the baby", she held her breath, waiting for his answer.

She felt him freezing and slowly freeing himself from her hug, looking into her eyes, "Baby?", on his face surprise and confusion. Maybe it wasn't the best way to tell him something like that, but she couldn't wait any more; she didn't know how to tell it in a different way, in effect. That moment of confession and opening up could be the best moment to do it, or she hoped so.

She had a deep breath, before to go on, "Enos, I'm… pregnant. It's why that night I was sleeping so deeply. It's why I seemed so tired, not because of you… uh, because of you but… in a different way you thought of", she blushed, realizing the awkwardness of her words, "but I didn't know it".

"Pregnant?", he blinked, more and more confused, "but… how did it happen?"

"Enos Strate, there's only one way how it happens. And I hope you didn't forget about that night at the Institute, and about our meetings at the Boarding House, 'cause, if you forgot 'bout it, well, I'd be offended", she blushed, and her blushing reflected his blushing.

His cheeks became red as tomatoes, not only because of the embarrassment of talking so openly about such a thing, but also because of another kind of emotion, "Did uncle Jesse, Bo and Luke know about it? If uncle Jesse knows it, he'll kill me, and, after uncle Jesse, Bo and Luke will re-kill me".

Daisy sniggered, "You and Doc Appleby are the only ones knowing it. You are the father of the baby, and you have to know it before everybody else. Besides, we're engaged, and we're going to marry, our postponed wedding, aren't we? Well, we've only inverted the orders of things"

She saw him having a soft start when she called him "the father of the baby", then the red on his cheeks disappeared, and his confused, and somehow scared, look changed into a dreaming, sweet and happy look, the look of a man finally realizing he's going to be a father, the look of a man who's never had a normal and happy family realizing he's going to have a family, finally, a family with the woman he's always loved.

"Daisy Duke", in her name all his love, the same sweet and grateful tone he used that day at the lake, when she asked him to marry her, when she was offering herself as his lifeboat against life's adversities; it was only some months before but it was like years, so many things happened after then, so many things changed between them. The same way of that day he kissed her passionately, but this time they weren't on a boat swinging on the lake and risking to let them fall into the water; this time they fell on the bed, hugging each other.

On his skin still the warmth of the water and the scent of soap, his cheeks smooth; Daisy untied the bathrobe's belt and she slid her hands on his skin, feeling him shivering and his muscles tensing under her touch.

"Uh, Dais.. But… Isn't it dangerous for the baby? The baby… inside you… I mean… I don't want to disturb him… or her"

His breath against her neck, and Daisy laughed, surprised of his naivety, "Don't worry, Enos. It's not dangerous". His innocent-like (unintentional?) humour, beside his innate and eternal sweetness, was one of the things of him she liked the most.

He felt him relaxing, his body on her.

She closed her eyes and she let him lead her in their enchanted world.

* * *

Early in the night.

How much did he sleep?

By her right side, part of his body on her, his right leg and arm crossing her as he's trying to climb over her, skin against skin, his warm breath on her right cheek: Daisy enjoyed the feeling of his body on her, covering her but without crashing her.

She remembered him crying and repeating "thanks" after collapsing on her when they came out their enchanted world, before he fell deeply asleep.

She wrapped her arms around Enos' waist.

"The father of the baby", she smiled at the ceiling, whispering those few words and realizing the beauty in it, before to fall asleep.

They didn't even have dinner, that evening, but it didn't matter: they were already sated.

* * *

**After the previous short bridge... you were waiting for it, weren't you? A quick update, but I didn't want you wait too much ;-) (for people a bit ... ehm... lazy in reading, if you've jumped to this chapter, check you've not missed the previous one, LOL).**

**Thank you to everyone is reading it (from everywhere, U.S., U.K., New Zealand, Canada..., nobody from Italy, what a strange world, LOL). And REVIEW! **


	26. Cherry blossoms

"_What a strange thing!_

_to be alive_

_beneath cherry blossoms."_

_Kobayashi Issa_

* * *

**CHERRY BLOSSOMS**

Smell of coffee entering his dreams, dreams of him, Daisy and a little baby living happily in a yellow farm in Hazzard.

Enos opened his eyes and he stirred, the sunlight entering the room with a light that seemed magic to him.

The reason of that magic approached him, caressing his hair, "Good morning, sugar"

He looked at Daisy wrapped in his bathrobe, her hear a bit damp, scent of shampoo inebriating him, and not only the scent of shampoo, but also her sweet smile, her voice, her legs… everything of her. Was it real?

He had only one way to understand if it was real: he kissed her.

"Good morning, Dais".

She touched gently his neck, "I think it's time to go back to Hazzard… after a good breakfast", reality entering his dream: yeah, it was time to go back to Hazzard.

He nodded, he got up, Daisy's eyes on him, and he headed to the bathroom: only few months ago her looking at him was enough to confuse him, and when she touched him he barely remembered his name, whereas now he felt totally at ease. For sure a lot of things changed in his life: his mother was dead (that way) and he found out he wasn't the son of Thomas Strate but of an ATF's agent (his mother's lover), terrific changes and traumas, but fortunately his new relationship with Daisy (and the surprise Daisy just brought to him) was saving him from drowning.

Daisy looked at him 'till he entered the bathroom, noticing something she didn't notice the day before: he was slim, more and more slim since his mother's arrival and even more now, after nearly three weeks spent in that cabin, not eating properly, obviously. She sighed and she started to prepare breakfast, a nourishing breakfast.

Scrambles eggs and sausage's smell gave her nausea, but Enos needed a good breakfast, so she kept on cooking, fighting back her nausea.

Few after, sitting in front of him, only a cup of coffee in her hands, she observed him eating his breakfast, his shirt's sleeves rolled up to his elbow, his left forearm a bit slimmer than his right one due to disuse during the last month.

"And you? Only a cup of coffee?", he looked at her and at the cup of coffee in her hands, a pitch of worrisome in his voice.

"I'm not hungry, sugar. I'm feeling a bit sick", she smiled, calming him.

"Uh… I'm sorry, it's my fault", he lowered his head as a scolded child.

Daisy laughed, "Sorry?", only Enos could say he was sorry because of her nausea and so of her pregnancy, "it's pretty normal for a pregnant woman, and don't say you're sorry, 'cause I suppose you enjoyed the way it happened, didn't you?", a sweet teasing him, as so many times in the past (not about that topic, anyway), and she looked amused at him blushing: despite he was finally at ease around her, it seemed she didn't lose her ability to make him blush.

"Uh… well, it seemed to me you too enjoyed it, didn't you?", a shy but at the same time sly smile, and it was Daisy's turn to blush: a new side of him, the side able to make HER blush, and she enjoyed that new way to tease her.

"Before to go back to Hazzard, I need to go to the town to pay the rent and to give the cabin's keys to the tenant", the teasing turning in a practical talk, and Daisy enjoyed that feeling of being an happy couple talking about everything, sitting at the kitchen's table in the morning, eating breakfast, "do you want to have a walk, Dais? The road to the town is great for a walk, but if you're tired we could use the car".

"I need a walk outdoor, I love the wood's smell around here", she remembered the brief walk to reach the cabin, the fresh air and the wood's scent. A walk with Enos along a path like that would've been great, "Thank you", she stood up, she bent forward across the small table and she kissed his cheek, then she headed to the bathroom to dress up.

When she came out the bathroom, he was tidying up and she started to help him, enjoying, again, that feeling of "happy family".

Few after, his bag in his car, they were walking along a small path surrounded by trees and bushes, the sunlight joking between the trees and drawing a kaleidoscope of lights, shadows and different nuances of green around them.

Daisy stopped, she closed her eyes and she inhaled the wood's scent, enjoying the feeling of the sun on her face. When she opened her eyes, he was looking at her, few steps in front of her.

"If you are tired, we could stop", a caring and soft voice.

"I'm not tired, Enos, I'm enjoying the sun and this scent… and your presence. I missed you, sugar", gratitude in her voice.

Enos blushed and he smiled sweetly, his look on her silhouette in the sunlight, the brown of her hair turning into a blonde/reddish nuance, her hazel eyes turning into a bright green. He was alive, Daisy was alive, they were going to have a baby and to be a family: there was still hope, for him, he could move on and forgetting everything happened in that long winter.

He stretched out his left arm to her and she grabbed his hand with her right one.

They walked side by side, hand in hand, their fingers intertwined, silently, sated of their presence and of the Nature around them.

When they arrived at the town, Daisy was a bit disappointed: she hoped the town was more distant, to prolong, more and more, her walk with Enos.

She looked at a telephone-box, and she came back to reality, "I think I should call the farm".

"OK", he nodded, "While you phone at the farm, I go to the tenant", he pointed at a little house.

Finally in the telephone-box, Daisy dialed the farm, waiting for uncle Jesse's answer, a quick answer as her uncle was longing for that call, and, in effect, he probably was longing for it.

Her eyes on Enos walking in the square and then entering the little house, she answered her uncle's questions, reassuring him and telling him she was going to come back to Hazzard, with Enos, and feeling relief in uncle Jesse's voice. The worrisome in uncle Jesse's voice remembered her what happened, Enos' running away and his shock because of his talk with Erika Salinger, toning down her previous dreamy state.

A dreamy state reviving after the call, when she saw Enos walking to her.

"Ok, we can go, now", he stretched out his arm and he took her hand, "Did you tell uncle Jesse about…", a pitch of fear in his voice.

She laughed, "Oh Enos, for sure not by phone. Soon after we arrive in Hazzard, we're goin' to marry. What do you think about?"

He nodded, "Yeah, and then we're going to tell uncle Jesse, Bo and Luke about the baby. At that point they won't kill me, 'cause you'll be a widow, otherwise", a serious tone, so serious that Daisy burst out laughing.

"Enos, are you really so worried for uncle Jesse's reaction?"

He looked at her, surprised by her amusement, "Uncle Jesse could tan my hide, seriously".

"Don't worry. When he'll see what a happy couple we are, he'll be happy for us"

He stopped walking and his hand slipped away from her one as she kept on walking before to realize he was motionless behind her, pale.

"Enos, what's up?", she realized something was wrong with him, his body trembling, his breath heavy and his eyes closed as he rested against a tree, his fist against the tree and his forehead against his fist, "Enos… sugar…", she recognized his attack (the same way of the day of his mother's funeral). Why now? Why there?

She walked to him and she gently took his face in her hands, turning him to her, forehead against forehead and then lips against lips in her particular mouth to mouth resuscitation, 'till she felt him relaxing.

Her hands still on his face, she looked into his eyes, "Enos, what's up? What are you thinking of? Trust me, uncle Jesse won't kill you"; was he really so worried for uncle Jesse's reaction? No, there was something more, and Daisy waited for his opening up.

Both kneeling down, she wrapped her arms around his head as he buried his face against her chest, talking confusingly about a talk with Doc Fay, a talk about his mother and Andrew Salinger keeping on meeting along the years, an happy couple in that little town. It wasn't surprising Enos was shocked about it, and Daisy held her tears back; not easy for him to accept his mother and his real father (a man who knew to be Enos' father) kept on meeting as an happy couple along the years, without worrying about their son: a real kick in the teeth, for Enos.

"Oh Enos", she let him tremble against her, keeping him close to her, 'till he looked up at her, desperation in his eyes.

"What if…. I won't be able to be a good father?"

Daisy was shocked: his total lack in self-confidence sometimes stunned her, especially this new side and surprising lack in self-confidence.

"You'll be a GREAT father, Enos, 'cause you're the sweetest man of the whole world", she gently kissed his lips and she caressed his hair, "OK?"

He nodded, slowly standing up.

Their walk back to the cabin and to their cars was silent, but a different kind of silence than the one on their way to the town, magic replaced by pain and confusion, and Daisy realized she'd have had a lot to do in order to help Enos to recover from his grief and shock, despite his apparent calm: behind that apparent calm there was a storm ready to explode, again, the same way the night he ran away followed by his inner demons.

Daisy squeezed his hand, hoping that the baby would've saved him from those demons.

* * *

In his hideout, John Fitzroy was thinking of Enos Strate, the bastard son of Andrew Salinger.

After Bo and Luke Duke stopped him, he managed to run away, and Sheriff Rosco was looking for him, to bring him to jail.

If he had to go to jail, well, he'd have gone after getting his revenge on Enos Strate.

He hated the deputy, he hated him because he was Andrew Salinger's son, and because he had Daisy Duke. Enos Strate would've paid for both things, and, along Enos Strate, Daisy Duke too would've paid for being such a slut.

* * *

**WOW, 26 chapters (my longest story ever)... and the best is yet to come :-)) **

**Sorry for the language in the last part of the chapter.**


	27. Close call for Daisy

_"I can see the sun, but even if I cannot see the sun, I know that it exists. And to know that the sun is there - that is living."_

_Fedor Dostoevskji_

* * *

**CLOSE CALL FOR DAISY**

Uncle Jesse came out the kitchen as he heard the sound of tires stopping in front of the farm.

He looked at Enos and Daisy getting off their cars; he looked in particular at Enos: the weeks spent outside Hazzard were pretty visible on him, resulting in a weight loss and in a tired look. Uncle Jesse sighed, wondering how and when Enos would have started to show signs of recover after his mother's death.

Enos and Daisy walked to him, and uncle Jesse couldn't help but notice they were holding their hands, their fingers intertwined.

"Hi uncle Jesse. I'm … back", Enos smiled shyly and he lowered his head, showing his discomfort, and uncle Jesse's wisdom noticed not only discomfort in Enos' attitude but another indefinite emotion, a mix of fear and shame, and he wondered why: he could understand Enos felt ashamed because of his running away (his pride probably was torturing him 'cause running away meant, for him, showing his weakness), but he couldn't understand that shadow of fear.

"Enos, buddy, you're finally back".

Bo and Luke came out the farm, trying to ease that discomfort with their usual nonchalance, pretending not to notice his thinness.

"How's your wrist?", Bo patted on Enos' left shoulder.

Enos raised his left arm, his right hand still holding Daisy's hand, opening and closing his left hand for several times, to show his friend the regained function, "It's OK, thanks. I think I can come back to work, now. I'm totally operative".

"Well, there's no need to go back to work today", Luke circled Enos' shoulders with his arm, "we could use this afternoon for something more relaxing. What do you think to go fishing? Take it as your last day of convalescence. And for dinner, fish"

Enos smiled: it wasn't a secret to anybody he liked to go fishing. He fight against his sense of duty, but he needed some time with his friends before to go back to the Boarding House and to his job; he needed some time also to find a way to talk about the wedding: he and Daisy had to find a way to tell her family they were going to marry, as soon as possible, not explaining them the reason of their hurry.

* * *

On the back seat of the General Lee, his hand still in Daisy's one, Enos enjoyed the breeze of that early spring, trying to focus on the positive things of his life (Daisy and the baby, his friends) and trying to forget the rest. Every time he repeated in his mind the word "the baby" he felt relieved and happy, finally believing in a positive future, his hope to forget the past.

He closed his eyes and he fell asleep, awakening few after because of Daisy's gentle kiss on his cheek, on him Bo and Luke's worried eyes.

He decided to enjoy the fishing, he smiled and he got off the car, "OK, go fishing, if we want fish for dinner", he laughed and he patted on Luke's shoulder.

* * *

John Fitzroy couldn't believe in his eyes.

Enos Strate and Daisy Duke, along Bo and Luke Duke, were there, so near his hideout; he could see them, from the abandoned barn but they couldn't see him (Hazzard County had a lot of places perfect as hideout, and moonshiners knew it pretty well).

He spent the last weeks there to build a plan in order to achieve his revenge, a complex plan (starting with a kidnapping, Daisy Duke's kidnapping), and now they were there, so near.

His rational mind told him to stay hidden, working on his plan, but John Fitzroy's rationality wasn't his strongest characteristic; in effect, if he had been more rational, first, he wouldn't have attacked publicly Enos Strate, and second, after the fight, he'd have run away from Hazzard 'till he had the possibility to do it.

John Fitzroy's strongest characteristic was his animal instinct, an animal instinct awakening in the form of a burning and violent rage, so strong and without any control he forgot his prudence and his plan, deciding to kidnap Daisy right there, right then, as soon as he had the opportunity.

And the opportunity didn't let him wait: Daisy Duke walked to the General Lee, parked not so distant from the barn (he could even see the keys in the dashboard) but quite distant from the river's bank where her cousins and Enos Strate kept on fishing. Since the river was below the road's level, they couldn't see the car from the river' bank: a perfect chance to have Daisy Duke, using the General to run away (so Dukes and Enos Strate couldn't run after him), a great opportunity and an acceleration of his plan.

He knew where to go and how to use Daisy Duke in order to have his revenge on Enos Strate, but he had to kidnap her, before, and he decided to take advantage of that fantastic chance.

A fantastic chance despite the inherent risk: Dukes' and Enos Strate's presence.

His animal instinct and rage beat the rationality, so he walked out the barn, reaching and grabbing a surprised Daisy Duke.

* * *

A gentle shiver along his spine and a strange feeling, Enos stood up, looking around him to find the reason of that strange feeling, and he heard a sort of muffled scream.

Cop's instinct.

He got over the slope between the river's bank and the road, and he froze for few seconds as he saw John Fitzroy, his hand on Daisy's mouth, trying to push her inside the General and fighting her resistance with a punch in her stomach.

A rush of anger overwhelming him, Enos woke up from his paralyzing surprise and he ran to John and Daisy, shouting his anger, "DON'T HURT DAISY AND THE BABY!"

* * *

Bending forward after John's punch and gasping for air, a buzz in her ears, Daisy felt John's grasp leaving her.

She looked up, taking a deep breath, and she saw Enos grabbing John's shirt and moving him away from her.

They started a violent fight, a fight of violent punches and kicks given and received from both sides; they fell down and then they stood up again, in a sort of confused and violent dance.

She felt Bo and Luke's arm circling her, asking if she was OK.

She looked at John and Enos pushing each other to the river's bank in their frantic dance, falling along the short slope into the river, and keeping on fighting into the water.

From the bottom of the slope she looked, with her cousins, at Enos sitting astride John, punching him with all his strength, the water around them tinged of blood, a surprising and stunning violence from Enos.

"BO, LUKE, STOP THEM… STOP ENOS!"

Regained her breath, Daisy woke her cousins up from their surprise.

Bo and Luke reached Enos and John, they grabbed Enos and they moved him away from John.

As Bo helped John to stand up and to come out the river, Luke pushed Enos on his knees and then on his belly in the shallow water, he sat astride Enos' back and he took his arms, crossing them behind Enos' back, as he was arresting him, as Enos tried to free himself from his friend's grip: a surreal scene.

"ENOS, FOR GOD'S SAKE, STOP! DAISY IS FINE"

Waking up from that sort of trance thanks Luke's words, Enos stopped fighting against his friend's grip, "Ok, Ok, I'm calm, now. I'm sorry", he was gasping for air and Luke let him go.

Sitting in the shallow water, Luke looked at Enos, counting the fight's signs: blood dripping from a cut on his right eyebrow, his nose and a broken lip, added to several bruises.

Enos looked around him as he was trying to remember what's happened, his breath heavy.

"Bo, call Cletus, so he'll bring John to jail, and you, Enos, come on, you need to visit Doc Appleby", Luke's usual self-control.

* * *

In the General Lee, outside Doc Appleby's house, Bo and Luke were waiting for Enos and Daisy, silently.

The same silence inside the car on the way to the town, Daisy's wiping blood from Enos's face with her handkerchief, her only soft words being "Enos, I'm OK, don't worry, sugar", strange words to Bo and Luke, 'cause they'd have expected other kind of words, kind of "Enos, are you OK, sugar?"

"You heard what Enos shouted before to run to John, didn't you?", Luke started his analysis.

"Don't hurt Daisy…. and the baby. So, you too heard it, I thought I was wrong", a brief pause, then Bo turned to Luke, "what did he mean?", silly question due to his shock.

Luke stared at Bo, raising his eyebrows in a knowing look, "Since there was no baby around there, I suppose we have now a different explanation of Daisy's nausea and drowsiness".

Bo sighed, "Oh my God. How and how long do they want to hide something like that? Beside… ENOS? It's so … strange. OK, they are somehow engaged since his coming back from the Institute after his mother's death, and Daisy told clearly to uncle Jesse she REALLY loves Enos, but… it seems to me they are rushing things, don't you think?"

Luke shrugged, "If you think about Enos' crush on Daisy since the seventh grade and their nearly wedding months ago, it means they needed 20 years to come to this point, so, no it's not rushing things; it's not a fling. But if you think about how and when their official engagement started, yeah, they are rushing things. I bet uncle Jesse won't be happy to know the news, 'cause, obviously, they can't hide such a thing for so long"

They looked at Enos and Daisy walking to the car, smiling.

"The baby is OK", Bo glanced at Luke, a smile on his face.

Luke answered with a snort: thinking of the baby meant thinking of HOW it happened, and the thought of Daisy sleeping with a man (even if that man was his best friend) was something difficult to put up with, for Luke, being the older cousin, whereas Bo, being younger than Daisy, seemed more comfortable with that news, surprised, obviously, but somehow more comfortable.

"Everything's OK, Enos?", Bo turned to Enos, who smiled and nodded.

"Everything's OK but my broken nose, 4 stitches on my right eyebrow and several bruises"

Nobody talked any more of the fight, and of Enos' sort of trance, 'till they reached the farm.

* * *

"How many fishes did you…", his mouth open, uncle Jesse looked at his nephews, niece and Enos coming out the General Lee and walking to the farm, "… what's happened?"

"A pesky meeting with John Fitzroy", Luke's brief summary.

Uncle Jesse looked at Enos' face and at his wet clothes, more wet than Luke's ones, whereas Bo and Daisy seemed having avoided any contact with the water.

"Go change your clothes, boy".

As Enos walked to the farm with Daisy, hand in hand, uncle Jesse stared at his nephews, "What's happened, exactly? Something more than - a pesky meeting with John Fitzroy - please".

The Dukes' patriarch listened silently to Luke's words, and, again, his wisdom told him there was something more, "Luke, tell all"

Luke looked at Bo and Bo at Luke, and Luke finally told his uncle about Enos's words when he ran to John Fitzroy. It wasn't something they could hide to their uncle, after all, even if they'd have preferred uncle Jesse knew it in a different way, so avoiding that embarrassing talk.

"What BABY?", uncle Jesse's confusion despite his wisdom, and Bo and Luke stared at him, raising their eyebrows in a knowing look.

"WHAT?", shock, "And how and how long do they think to hide something like that, to ME?", rage.

With a perfect timing, Daisy came out the farm, walking to her uncle and cousins, a calm smile on her face, "Everything's OK?"

Looks between the three men before uncle Jesse's speaking, "Are you OK, Daisy? How's your … worrisome, now? I hope John Fitzroy didn't scare you too much"

Daisy shrugged, "I'm feeling better and better", then a bright smile lighted up her face, "and, since Enos is back, I'm goin' to become Mrs. Enos Strate! I can't and I don't want to wait any more. We've waited too much, and Enos just asked me to marry him!"

Other looks between the three men, knowing looks.

"Daisy, I have to talk to you… and to Enos", uncle Jesse walked past her, and Daisy followed him, surprised by his harsh tone.


	28. Sitting at the kitchen's table

_"If I know what love is, its because of you."_

_Hermann Hesse_

* * *

**SITTING AT THE KITCHEN'S TABLE**

Sitting at the kitchen's table, uncle Jesse looked at Daisy and Enos entering the kitchen.

"We have to talk", a sort of order to sit down, and his niece and Enos obeyed him.

"How do you feel, Enos?", a way to relax Enos, and a simple honest interest for his condition.

"I'm… fine, full of bruises in every part of my body… I mean… EVERY part, but… I'm fine, after all", a shy smile and Enos' usual fidgeting as he glanced at uncle Jesse.

"Bo and Luke told me that…", a brief pause to find the right words, a way to talk about "the baby" (how he knew 'bout it) and about Enos' sort of trance, "… you were really angry to John, so angry and… out of control… they had to stop you". Out of control: uncle Jesse pondered on those words, but there was no other way to describe what his nephews told him, adding shock to shock.

Enos became pale, and uncle Jesse wondered how to talk about that topic in the softest way, and that difficult topic would have brought to an even more difficult topic.

"I… don't remember. The last thing I remember is John punching Daisy, then… I don't remember anything else 'till Luke stopped me", Enos looked down at his hands on the table, probably forcing his mind to recall the fight, but a deep sigh showed his inability to remember.

"So, you don't remember anything, 'cause seeing Daisy hurt by John drove you mad", uncle Jesse nodded, understanding the rage of a man who saw his woman hit by someone else; his woman … and the baby. Enos' rage wasn't surprising, scaring (since Enos was usually calm and peaceful) but not surprising.

"John was hurting Daisy…", uncle Jesse's eyes moved from Daisy to Enos and from Enos to Daisy, stopping finally on Enos, a piercing look, "… and the baby".

Enos, his eyes still on his hands, looked up at uncle Jesse, shocked, and Daisy held her breath. Both Enos and Daisy were speechless.

"It's what you shouted when you ran to Daisy: don't hurt Daisy and the baby. You probably don't remember it, but Bo and Luke heard you… and they remember it. Now, I think it's pretty clear what baby you were talkin' bout, Enos", in uncle Jesse's voice both discomfort (about the topic) and disappointment (about his niece hiding something like that to him).

Daisy shook gently her head, a gesture of disbelief (about talking with her uncle of such a thing) and sadness (about her uncle's disappointment, a disappointment she could perfectly feel), and she covered her eyes with her hand, "Oh my God", trying to find the right words, a vain attempt, "Uncle Jesse… I'm sorry if I disappointed you, but…", and Daisy understood it was pointless to try to explain something so complicated and embarrassing.

Enos took a deep breath, he closed briefly his eyes then he stared into uncle Jesse's eyes, "Uncle Jesse, I'm sorry you knew about the baby this way. I respect you as a father, you know, so I understand your shock and rage. But… I LOVE Daisy more than my own life, I'd do anything for her. It's why I want to marry her. I know that… we've inverted the normal order of things, but I'd have married Daisy anyhow, baby or not. Because of the baby we're … accelerating things, I know. I only want to be a good husband for Daisy… and a good father for the baby, or I hope so", he looked down at his hands, a touch of red on his cheeks.

Daisy's right hand reached Enos' left one, squeezing it, in her eyes surprise and devotion.

Uncle Jesse looked at the couple in front of him, silently, pondering on the best words to say.

The silence was so deep to seem unreal, as if the world outside the farm had been destroyed and the only survivors of that apocalypse had been the two men and the woman inside that kitchen.

The sound of uncle Jesse's voice was like an explosion after that unreal silence, even if a soft voice, "I can't deny the news about the baby shocked me, and I can't deny I'd have preferred a wedding before a pregnancy. And I'm disappointed because you hid such a thing to me. Daisy, I thought you'd have told me something like that, honestly"

"It's my fault, uncle Jesse. Daisy wanted to tell you 'bout it… after telling me (since I'm the father of the baby), but… I was away from Hazzard, so she couldn't tell me about the baby. If I hadn't run away that way, she'd have told me about the baby, and then we'd have told you about it and about the wedding, in a different way", again, surprisingly, Enos found the courage to face uncle Jesse, his eyes firmly on the older man, "I'm sorry you found out about the baby this way. And I'm sorry if we decided to hide it since the wedding. Daisy decided to tell it after the wedding 'cause…", he blushed, "she knew I was scared to tell you… and Bo and Luke… 'bout it before a normal wedding. I messed things up with my running away…. and then with my fear of your reaction".

"Fear? Of me, Bo and Luke?", uncle Jesse's eyes opened wide, "Enos, I'm really strict about such a thing, I know, but… I know you love Daisy, and you've always shown your respect for her. I'm glad Daisy finally understood her love for you, and I'm sure you're goin' to be a good husband for her. Obviously, I'm shocked because of the news. I'm happy you and Daisy are goin' to be a family, but… well… everything's so quick I'm a bit surprised and… yeah… I'd have preferred to know things in a different way"

"So, you respect me despite… it, don't you?", Enos squeezed Daisy's hand, his eyes now down, his cheeks more and more red.

Uncle Jesse understood: Enos feared to lose his respect, to lose the respect of someone he respected as a father. The Dukes' patriarch shook his head: Enos lacked in self-confidence, it was his worst fault; despite Daisy and her love he kept on thinking of himself as someone who needed to win people's affection with all his efforts, day by day, risking to lose people's affection all in a sudden. Enos didn't think of himself as someone worth of respect and love, and uncle Jesse knew how much his past was responsible of it, and not only his past but also his recent knowing about Andrew Salinger.

"Enos, I know you since you were a child, and I know you're a honest and caring man, someone my family can trust. I respect you, I've always respected you. How did you think I could lose my respect for you because of what's happened? You've already showed me I can trust you along these years. Everybody can make a mistake along his life, more mistakes: Bo, Luke and Daisy too can make a mistake, they've already made some mistakes and they'll keep on making mistakes, but I don't stop loving them because of it; besides, this baby is NOT a mistake, a surprise for sure, but not a mistake".

Enos glanced at him, a thankful look.

Uncle Jesse kept on talking, "I'm not angry because of the baby, surprised but not angry. I'm disappointed because of your hiding it to me. Daisy, when did you find out about the baby?", his eyes on his niece.

"Few after Enos ran away. I wanted to tell Enos, before everybody else, since he's the father of the baby. Enos knew it only yesterday, uncle Jesse, and it was my idea to tell you after the wedding. Enos and I would have married, anyhow, baby or not, maybe not now because of… the recent mourning", Daisy rested her left hand on Enos' hand already intertwined to her right one, "but we'd have married, probably along this spring. I love Enos, and I can't wait to become his wife… and the mother of his baby", her eyes became sparkling and a touch of red lightened her face as Enos looked at her with one of his sweetest smiles.

Uncle Jesse nodded, "It's what I wanted to hear from you, Daisy. And I hope you'll be always honest and sincere to me, in the future, even if I know Enos will be the most important man in your life by now and I accept it. I can't interfere in your family, and I know there'll be things you'll talk to Enos before than to me, and it's right since he'll be your husband"

"Oh uncle Jesse, you'll always be important to me, you and Enos will have different roles in my life, it' true, but you'll always be important to me"

"Ok", uncle Jesse stood up, satisfied and deeply moved of those words, "and now it's time to talk to Bo and Luke. They're waiting outside the farm, wondering how I'd have tanned your hide", he looked at Enos becoming pale and at Daisy blushing, and he laughed walking outside the kitchen.

After uncle Jesse's leaving, Enos rested his forehead against the table, "Possum on a gum bush, I'm still alive", his calm joking in order to relax and to show his relief.

Daisy laughed, "Oh Enos, did you really think uncle Jesse would have killed you?", then she became serious, stop joking and coming to the point, "or… did you really think uncle Jesse would have lost his respect for you? For God's sake, Enos, when will you learn to respect yourself and to trust your worth?"

His forehead still against the table, Enos turned his face to her, "I've never been used to be judged worth of respect and love", a sad smile on his face, and Daisy understood he was talking about his mother's leaving when he was only 5 years old, Thomas Strate's attitude toward him, his life with his uncle and aunt, and Andrew Salinger's indifference: his total lack in self confidence wasn't surprising.

Daisy touched gently his nape, "Well, it's time to get used to be loved, sugar, 'cause I love you, and the baby too is goin' to love you, 'cause you're goin' to be a GREAT daddy. I'm sure about it: today you showed me how much you love me and the baby, you protected us"

Enos closed his eyes and he let her left hand caress his nape, enjoying her touch and pondering on her words, his left hand still in her right one, "If I know what love is, its because of you and your family, Dais".

Daisy's hand trembled at his words, in her trembling her strong emotion.

* * *

When uncle Jesse, Bo and Luke entered the house, they looked at Enos and Daisy still sitting at the kitchen's table, Daisy still caressing Enos' nape: their Daisy was going to become a wife and a mother, and in their heart there was a mix of surprise, jealousy (especially from uncle Jesse and Luke, since Daisy was for them "their little Daisy", despite she wasn't a child any more) and joy, the joy slowly replacing the surprise and the jealousy.

Joy mixed with expectation: there was a wedding to organize, a wedding that would have canalized a lot of attention because rumors about Rose Strate and Andrew Salinger were still a major topic in town, and, before those rumors, Enos' and Daisy's previous postponed wedding was another major topic for months.

And their expectation would have mixed with disappointment and worrisome if Dukes had known those rumors were adding to new rumors: as Bo and Luke, John Fitzroy too heard Enos' words about "the baby", and, as Bo and Luke, he came to the same conclusion, now sharing this conclusion, pulpy news, with his family and friends visiting him in jail.

Other fire spreading in town.

* * *

**Thanks again to any of you who's reading this story, despite the slowness (few action in it, I know). I hope you're enjoying this strange "slice of life"-kind of story, and I hope you enjoyed Jesse Duke's talking in this chapter (I hope he's in character, 'cause, as I've said, I'm not very used to write of uncle Jesse and the boys, LOL). I hope you've found DOH's characters (all of them) and spirit (family, friendship, respect, caring) along the story despite some topics (somehow tricky, hard and sad topics).**

**OK, this story is coming to the end, I think just a couple of chapters to the Epilogue ;-)). And after this story... I don't know: maybe a pause, or some one-shots... or maybe a new idea is goin' to hit me all in a sudden (as many times in the past: every time I say "I don't have any idea for a new story", SBAM, LOL). Let me know if you've liked this story or if you want something totally different from me.**


	29. A new family

_"The night glittered brilliantly then."_

_Banana Yoshimoto_

* * *

**A NEW FAMILY**

"So, Enos and Daisy are goin' to become parents", Bo smiled at Luke, "It's so strange, don't you think?"

"Strange, yeah. I'm happy for them, but… I'm surprised"

"And jealous, 'cause Daisy, now, is under Enos' protection, and Enos showed us he's perfectly able to protect her"

Luke stared at Bo: he got it. His younger cousin was becoming wiser and wiser.

"You're right, Bo. I'm a bit… jealous, 'cause Daisy will leave the farm, and it's so strange thinking of her as a wife and a mother, under the protection of a man different than us. But I'm happy that man will be Enos, after all, 'cause nobody can love Daisy more than Enos"

The two cousins remained silent, their eyes on Enos and Daisy moving in the kitchen, helping uncle Jesse to cook dinner.

"But... no fish for dinner 'cause of Enos", Bo sniggered then he stood up, walking to the kitchen and leaving Luke alone on the couch of the living room. Luke sighed, shaking his head and standing up to reach his cousin, but a knocking at the door stopped him on his way to the kitchen.

When he opened the door, Erika Salinger was standing there, a brown and tall man by her side, and Luke sincerely hoped they weren't going to bring other problems, 'cause it wasn't time for other problems.

"I'm sorry to bother you, but… I need to talk to Enos before to leave Hazzard"

Leaving Hazzard. So, Erika was going to leave.

Luke nodded, "Ok, but… I hope you're not goin' to tell him something that could hurt him"

Erika shook her head, "No, I want only to say him goodbye before to leave"

Erika and the man by her side entered the living room as Luke walked to the kitchen to call Enos.

Few after, Enos was in front of his sister and of the man Dukes knew being Erika Salinger's husband, Josh Baldini, an ATF's officer who's now shaking hand with Enos.

"I'm glad you're back, Enos, and I'm sorry if I shocked you last time I talked to you. I didn't want to hurt you", Erika's tone was sincere, and her sincerity, beside Enos' calm, weakened Daisy's worrisome and anger.

"My wife is perfectly able to drive people crazy, so you have all my sympathy, colleague"

"Josh, please", Erika poked him, "stop kidding"

Enos smiled at the couple, and Daisy finally relaxed.

"I'm not kidding, Erika. You're more stubborn than a mule, and your pregnancy didn't help you. You're more and more stubborn, and I had to come here to drag you back", Josh kept on teasing her, but in his eyes everybody could see his love for that stubborn woman.

"Pregnancy?", Daisy opened her eyes wide, realizing that Erika's overweight was the sign of her pregnancy. It seemed Daisy wasn't able to recognize any pregnancy, lately.

Erika blushed, casting an angry look in Josh's direction, "Yeah, I'm pregnant", then he looked at Enos, trying to focus the talk on something else, "Anyway, I'm going to leave Hazzard. Now that I know you're back and you're OK, beside your fight with John Fitzroy, I can leave," she took a small piece of paper out her hand-bag, "this is my telephone number. Call me, in case you'll know something more about our parents, or… if you want to call me, for any reason"

Daisy held her breath; was Enos going to tell Erika about what he found out from Doc Fay, about "the happy couple Andrew/Rose"? She observed Enos and she noticed his brief stiffening and then his relaxing.

Enos took the paper from Erika's hand, smiling, "Thanks. I'm goin' to call you, in case I'll know something, or… just to call you, just to know if everything's OK with you, and your baby"

Daisy smiled, loving Enos even more. It was obvious: knowing she was pregnant, he wasn't going to tell Erika about what he knew, so sparing her the shock about her father's double life. Again, he was going to carry that weight all by himself, protecting people around him. In Enos' voice Daisy could feel a new sweetness toward Erika: was he seeing her in a new way? Was he thinking of her as his little sister, so protecting her from that weight?

Josh stared at Enos, his deep brown eyes half-closed, thoughtfully.

Erika smiled, "Thanks," then she looked carefully at Enos' face, "WOW, what a rough fight, but this time it seemed you beat John"

Enos blushed, "Uh, it seems you know a lot of things. You're a good detective, or there's too much gossip in this town"

"There's too much gossip in this town, for sure," Erika laughed, "Ok, it's time to go, now"

"Yeah, it's time to go, brother-in-law, bye", Josh patted on Enos' back, surprising him with his gesture and his words, a positive surprise: Enos smiled thankfully, a soft red on his cheeks and a brief spark in his eyes.

The ATF's officer stretched his hand out to Enos, shaking hand with him and looking into Enos' eyes, "Thank you".

Daisy realized Josh understood Enos knew something about Erika's father, something that could hurt Erika, and he was thanking Enos for not telling it to Erika.

"I'll call you after the baby's birth", Erika smiled, "and maybe you should come to visit us, to meet your… nephew… or niece," she blushed.

Enos became red as a tomato, but it wasn't a blushing of embarrassment or pain, it was a blushing of happiness, and Daisy sighed in relief.

"_Somehow Erika Salinger and Enos are facing something similar, and, somehow, I think she could be a… gift for him"._ Daisy remembered uncle Jesse's words: Enos was going to have a family, a big family, he was going to become not only a husband and a father but also a brother and an uncle, and he seemed happy. A gift: uncle Jesse was right, as usual. Daisy looked at her uncle and uncle Jesse looked at her, smiling and nodding.

"And you, call me when you'll become a daddy, 'cause I want to meet my nephew… or niece", Erika kept on smiling, but when he saw the smile fading from Enos' face she worried, "did I say something wrong?"

"How do you know I'm goin' to become a … daddy?"

"I heard 'bout it from Mary Beth, the Hotel's receptionist"

Enos looked at Daisy, and Daisy at Enos: perfect, if Mary Beth knew it, probably everyone in Hazzard knew it.

"Something's wrong?" Erika repeated her question, wondering why everybody looked at each other.

"See, Miss Salinger," uncle Jesse tried to break that awkward silence, "Enos and Daisy are goin' to get married, and… we thought nobody knew about the baby and the wedding, but it seems that… there's too much gossip in this town"

Erika smiled, "I'm happy you're gonna to get married, and I'm happy about the baby"

"OK, now, it's really time to go, Erika," Josh rested his hand on Erika's shoulder, "Bye Enos, and call us".

After a brief hug to Enos, Erika and Josh left the farm, a silent farm, everybody looking at each other.

"So, people know 'bout the baby. I bet it is John Fitzroy's fault, he can be the only one to know about the baby", Luke sank into the couch, rubbing his face; he could imagine what people were saying about Enos and Daisy (especially about Daisy) and his over-protection on Daisy was driving him crazy.

"Enos, let's get married, right now. Go to the Pastor and let's get married," Daisy took Enos' hands in hers, "it's the right thing to do… to stop this"

"NO!", Enos' word stunned everybody, his tone serious, "No. Daisy, if we get married right now, all in a sudden, with a sort of hidden ceremony, it's like admitting we are wrong, it's like admitting we decided to get married just because of the baby, and people will talk about it even more. But there's nothing wrong in our wedding: I love you, Dais, and you love me, and I want to remember our wedding as the best day of my life. I want to marry you in front of your family and in front of our friends, not to marry you secretly. I want to show everybody how much I love you and how much you love me. We'd have married, anyhow, baby or not, so let's get married in a normal way. I want to see you in your wedding dress, and… I want to marry you… in a normal way. Possum on a gum bush, Dais, is there something normal in my life? I want finally something normal," he smiled.

"Enos is right. People will talk, no matter what. And they'll talk even more if you get married like that, in the night, secretly. And… like Enos, I want to see you in your wedding dress, and I want your wedding will be a feast, a beautiful day to remember," uncle Jesse walked close to Enos, resting his hand on his shoulder, in his eyes all his respect for that man, a man who's showing him his strength and his pride beside his usual shyness and lacking in self-confidence. Uncle Jesse was proud of Enos.

Daisy looked at Enos and at her uncle, smiling, "OK, so, let's go for a normal wedding, the best day of our lives".

Sitting at the kitchen's table, during dinner, Dukes and Enos talked about the up-coming wedding, planning everything to do.

A calm and happy atmosphere, and Enos enjoyed it from the bottom of his heart: no rumors hurting him any more, no past, but he and his new family, his two families (Dukes and Erika Salinger), and a bright future.

* * *

**Thank you for your patience. This is a sort of bridge for the next chapter, a chapter TOTALLY focused on the wedding! **

**Thank you for following me along this slow and slice-of-life-kind story, with no much action in it. I hope you enjoyed it, and I hope you understood that thing about the sense of love, friendship and family I was talking about in the summary :-)). I hope you found the characters "in character"****(ALL of them, especially uncle Jesse along these last chapters)** and you found DOH's spirit in this story (despite some rough topic here and there, and despite the lacking of cars, chases, shuck and jives and so on).

**Stay tuned for the up-coming wedding, I promise it'll be a moving chapter ;-)**


	30. The wedding

_"__You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore."_

_Kahlil Gibran_

* * *

**THE WEDDING **

A bright sun entered the church's window, a crowded church (no surprising it was so crowded), as Enos stood by the altar in his tight, thinking he was there, in that same church, all eyes on him, nearly two months before for a totally different circumstance. He took a deep breath and he erased that thought from his mind.

Luke patted gently on Enos' back, as he understood what his friend was thinking of, and Enos turned to the groomsmen, smiling shyly, Bo and Luke smiling at him.

He wanted that day was going to be the best day of his life, so he HAD to erase every pesky thought from his mind.

A grumble rose from the people as Daisy entered the church, and every pesky thought disappeared from Enos' mind, his eyes on the bride walking along the aisle in her beautiful white dress (aunt Lavinia's wedding dress, the same dress Daisy wore so many months before, when they tried to get married in that confused and quick way… the wrong way), and he held his breath.

Uncle Jesse walked by Daisy's side, in his best dress, and he was clearly moved.

"Who gives this woman to this man in marriage?" Pastor voice's stopped the grumble, so a deep silence filled the church, a silence full of expectation.

"I do", a strong emotion in uncle Jesse's voice, and Enos could see the man's joy and at the same time his sadness, a joyful sadness, in his eyes. He remembered uncle Jesse's words to Daisy, only few days before, _"__I know Enos will be the most important man in your life by now and I accept it. I can't interfere in your family, and I know there'll be things you'll talk to Enos before than to me, and it's right since he'll be your husband"; _Enos perfectly understood the pain in that man, who's giving his niece to another man, passing on the baton, but at the same time there was joy in uncle Jesse's eyes, and Enos knew that joy meant uncle Jesse respected him and he was happy to give Daisy to him. Uncle Jesse's respect was a gift for Enos: he'd have never married Daisy if he hadn't known uncle Jesse respected him, and it was one of the reasons (beside his doubts about Daisy's feelings for him) why he stopped the wedding months before, using the hives as an excuse.

He took a step forward and uncle Jesse placed Daisy's right hand in his left hand; how many times did they hold their hands, along the last months? Enos thought that there was nothing better than holding Daisy's hand, better than any other physical touch, even better than sleep together. Her touch saved him from drowning that day at the Institute, her hand warmed him during his mother's funeral.

Daisy's smile was beautiful and Enos, for a moment, forgot where he was and why, but the Pastor's voice woke him up.

"Dear friends and family, we are gathered here today to witness and celebrate the union of Enos Strate and Daisy Duke in marriage. In the years they have been together, their love and understanding of each other has grown and matured, and now they have decided to live their lives together as husband and wife."

Hands in hands, Daisy and Enos looked at each other, the Pastor's words echoing in the church: nothing could be more true about their love and how it grew and matured, in a continuous push and pull along their lives, in a continuous hide feelings to people and to themselves.

"True marriage is more than joining the bonds of marriage of two persons; it is the union of two hearts. It lives on the love you give each other and never grows old, but thrives on the joy of each new day. Marriage is love. May you always be able to talk things over, to confide in each other, to laugh with each other, to enjoy life together, and to share moments of quiet and peace, when the day is done. May you be blessed with a lifetime of happiness and a home of warmth and understanding."

He squeezed Daisy's hands, winking, and she smiled, a gentle red on her cheeks, in their minds their time spent together in the last months, confiding each other and sharing their emotions, in their mind a path surrounded by high trees as they walked hand in hand.

"Enos and Daisy, remember to treat yourselves and each other with respect, and remind yourselves often of what brought you together. Take responsibility for making the other feel safe, and give the highest priority to the tenderness, gentleness and kindness that your connection deserves. When frustration, difficulty and fear assail your relationship, as they threaten all relationships at some time or another, remember to focus on what is right between you, not just the part that seems wrong. In this way, you can survive the times when clouds drift across the face of the sun in your lives, remembering that, just because you may lose sight of it for a moment, does not mean the sun has gone away. And, if each of you takes responsibility for the quality of your life together, it will be marked by abundance and delight."

He remembered Daisy's words that day at the lake, when she asked him to marry her: _"Now Enos, when people plan to get married, they figure they're gonna share the good and the bad. That's what marriage is all about: sharin'. Okay, I figure we're just gonna start off with the bad here, and get to the good a little later." _Her smiling face mixed with her face that day, and he understood, with no doubt, that Daisy loved him since then, no pity but love. NOW he was totally sure about it, all doubts he had in the past melting as snow under a sparkling sun. Along the last months he learnt to trust Daisy's love, but only in that moment he realized so completely her love since that day, and her being a sun for him.

"Do you Enos Strate, take Daisy Mae Duke to be your wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do you part?"

"I do", he whispered, not able to use his voice more properly, his mouth dry.

"Do you Daisy Mae Duke, take Enos Strate to be your husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do you part?"

"I do", her voice more clear than Enos' one, but at the same time cracking a bit.

A brief sniveling came from people in the church, and Enos and Daisy smiled looking at Lulu Hogg wiping her eyes as Boss Hogg rolled his eyes up, ashamed of his wife's emotionality. But Lulu Hogg wasn't the only one who's wiping her eyes, and Pastor's voice had to cover various sniveling from various spots inside the church as the ceremony went on.

"Wedding rings are made precious by our wearing them. Your rings say that even in your uniqueness you have chosen to be bound together. Let these rings also be a sign that love has substance as well as soul, a present as well as a past, and that, despite its occasional sorrows, love is a circle of happiness, wonder, and delight. May these rings remind you always of the vows you have taken here today."

With trembling hands, Enos managed to place the ring on Daisy's finger, "With this ring, I thee wed." The ring perfectly fitted on Daisy's tapered finger, and Enos looked at that ring, as it was something magic. Was it real? Was it really happening?

There was an apparent calm in Daisy's gestures, but the trembling in her voice betrayed her emotion, "With this ring, I thee wed."

Enos felt the ring sliding along his finger, fitting perfectly on it. He looked at his left hand and then at Daisy's one. The sun entering the window sparkled on their rings: was it real? Was it really happening?

"And now, by the power vested in me by the State of Georgia, I hereby pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss."

Yes, it was happening. He gently kissed Daisy, her soft lips on his ones so real he couldn't have doubts about the reality of it.

"Family and Friends, I present to you Mr and Mrs Enos Strate."

The sound of clapping mixing with greetings exploded inside the church as Enos and Daisy stopped their kiss, their friends coming closer them, hugging them, shaking hands and patting on their back.

But someone remained distant from the couple, confused and not used to that crowding.

Enos walked away from Daisy and his friends, heading to the woman and the man who remained still, away from the crowd, "Thank you for coming. I really appreciate it. It's a great gift for me", he hugged the small woman and he gently kissed her cheek and then her forehead, with the same kindness he could kiss a mother, indifferent to people looking at him, a genuine surprise on their face as they looked at Enos Strate kissing so sweetly, and publicly, a woman nobody there knew. Some other rumors for the next days, but Enos didn't care about it.

"Thank you for inviting me, Enos, I'm happy to be here", Miss Kate hugged him, and they both knew the importance of Miss Kate's being there, her first time in the "outer" world after so many years spent inside the Institute, the first time she found the courage to go out, just for Enos, and thanks to her companion too, Doc Martin, who shook hands with Enos.

Dukes approached Miss Kate and Doc Martin, and Daisy took her husband's hand in hers, her eyes sparkling for joy, 'cause she knew how much important Miss Kate was for Enos, and she was very glad she managed to convince Miss Kate to come for the wedding, her gift for Enos, despite her initial resistances.

"And now… go to the party at the Boar's Nest!", Bo's joyful voice resounded in the church, and another explosion of clapping filled the building as everybody walked outside, in the sun.

"Enos, sugar, avoid the rhubarb cake, OK?", Daisy sniggered, whispering into Enos' ear, and Enos burst out laughing.

"And you, don't drink… the baby wouldn't like it", he smirked and he kissed her blushing cheek.

Walking in the dim light of the aisle, they finally came out the church, a sparkling sun bathing them.

* * *

_You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore._

_You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days._  
_Ay, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God._  
_But let there be spaces in your togetherness,_  
_And let the winds of the heavens dance between you. _

_Love one another, but make not a bond of love:_  
_Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls._  
_Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup._  
_Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf_  
_Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,_  
_Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music. _

_Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping._  
_For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts._  
_And stand together yet not too near together:_  
_For the pillars of the temple stand apart,_  
_And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow._

_Kahlil Gibran_


	31. Epilogue

_"I don't care what you do to me, but I don't want you to hurt me. I've had enough hurt already in my life. More than enough. Now I want to be happy."_

_Haruki Murakami_

* * *

**EPILOGUE**

Daisy laughed, the receiver pressed on her ear as she heard Erika's talking about little Andrew.

"Oh Erika, it's the same for Thomas"

Daisy's eyes moved to little Thomas and Enos, the baby on all fours and Enos lying down on his belly on the floor, in front of the baby, face to face, Enos' mouth gently grabbing Thomas' pacifier and taking it away from the baby, provoking a brief moan and then a laugh 'till the baby took back his pacifier from Enos.

"Enos, don't steal Thomas' pacifier!", a false reproach to her husband, but she couldn't help but laughing every time she saw Enos and Thomas playing that way; as soon as Enos came back from work, every day, he started playing with little Thomas, and Daisy couldn't say who of them (Enos or the baby) had more fun.

"_What if…. I won't be able to be a good father?"_

Enos' fear about not being a good father was lost in the past: he was a great daddy, and Thomas loved him. Enos was now aware of his ability to take care of Thomas and to be a good father.

Thomas was born in November, eight months after the wedding, after a epic run to the Hospital, Daisy in labor in the car and Enos driving the same way as he was chasing Bo and Luke, his repeating "Daisy, don't let the baby come out, arrest him" driving her crazy, as she could decide when the baby had to come out. In that moment she would have killed Enos, because of the painful labor (she was pregnant because of Enos and she hated him for it), because of his crazy driving and because of his silly advices (Don't let the baby come out? arrest him? was it a jail-break?). But now, every time they thought about it, they couldn't help but bursting out laughing.

Thomas was 14 months old, and he was a peaceful and cheerful baby, with ebony straight hair (as Enos) and green hazel eyes (as Daisy).

Her eyes still on Enos now lying down on his back and singing a funny song, the baby sitting on his belly, Daisy kept on talking to Erika, their relationship becoming stronger and stronger in the last two years: two sisters-in-law talking about their pregnancy and then about their baby, exchanging experiences and advices, so their first meeting (not so friendly) seemed so distant and surreal.

In effect, Erika was the only one Daisy could talk about such things: the time she ranted about the difficulty of breastfeeding a baby who's teething, Bo and Luke ran out the room as two mice chased by a cat, because of the embarrassment, uncle Jesse started to cough as he had asthma, and Enos told something sly in his innocent and angelic way. Many times in the past Daisy wondered if Enos was really innocent and naïve so that anything apparently sly from him was simply involuntary, but along their life as husband and wife she was understanding that, no, he wasn't so innocent but he had a peculiar humour, a mix of innocence, sweetness, shyness and a surprising slyness: a peculiar innocent and funny slyness.

Bo, Luke and uncle Jesse came to the little yellow farm every day, to visit her while Enos was at work, and helping her with the baby (especially uncle Jesse, who seemed young again after the baby's birth), but there were some things, women's things, she couldn't talk about with that bunch of men around her.

Erika and Josh came sometimes to visit her and Enos, the same way they went to visit Erika and Josh, the two women talking about women' things and the two men talking about men' things (especially police's things, being Enos a cop and Josh an ATF's officer; Erika too was an ATF's officer, but she preferred to talk with Daisy of women' things).

And Miss Kate too came to visit them, time after time, the first times with Doc Martin or some nurse since she wasn't able to leave the Institute without someone by her side (she feared the "outer" world), but lately she came all by herself, with her little car, with no fear any more. She loved the baby, and people started to talk about a new special friendship between Miss Kate and Rosco, another reason to explain Miss Kate's frequent coming to Hazzard (there were too much rumors in that town, for sure).

Daisy laughed again as Erika said something to Josh Baldini, in Italian, and after Erika's words she heard Josh complaining he taught Italian to Erika just with the effect the woman could now insult him in two languages. They were a funny couple.

Enos told Erika about their parents after Andrew's birth, in the softest possible way, and Daisy knew how much Erika was hurt because of it, but she recovered from that news thank her child and husband. Rose Strate and Andrew Salinger were still in Enos and Erika mind, and it still happened Daisy heard Enos crying in the night, especially during the months after their wedding, but, as time went by, those tears became more and more rare, even if Daisy knew it was unrealistic to think Enos' past would have disappeared from his mind and heart: he was simply getting used to it, accepting it and hang on his new life.

After her talking with Erika, Daisy put the receiver down and she walked to her husband and her baby, "May I play with you, babies?"

* * *

Night.

Sitting in their bed, Daisy looked at the baby sleeping in the cradle on the side of the bed, and then at Enos sleeping by her side.

The baby moaned briefly and Enos answered him with confused words.

Daisy laughed, but even if she tried to muffle her laugh, Enos woke up, looking at her.

"Why are you laughing? Did I say something strange in the sleep? I hope I didn't ask a vanilla mega-pudding… or worse", he sat up and he yawned, rubbing his eyes and then looking at her with his smile, a mix of innocence and slyness.

Daisy slid her right forefinger on his bare chest, "Do you want a vanilla mega-pudding, sugar? Do you really like vanilla so much? My vanilla's perfume too?"

Enos held his breath, his muscle tensing under Daisy's touch; she still had a great power on him, and he loved that teasing tone, something remembering him their past times, times when that tone made him running away. Past times.

"Thinking about it…. well… in effect, I wasn't dreaming of vanilla pudding", he took her hand and he gently kissed it, keeping on kissing her forearm and then up to her arm and neck, "Vanilla, you smell of vanilla, so, no… I wasn't dreaming of pudding, after all."

From her neck up to her lips, lips against lips, and then they slipped under the blankets, a joyful bundle moving in the moonlight entering the window and drawing a lit square on the bed, little shadows dancing in it as it started to snow, the first snow of that winter.

* * *

**Thank you SO much for reading it. I'm surprised and happy of how many people read it and keep on reading it. I LOVED writing this story and I hope you loved reading it. :-)) Now that you arrived at the end of the story, if you want, leave your final opinion, what you liked the most.. or what you didn't like or you thought it could be better/different.**

**Bye, see you on the next story, "Shattered" :-))**


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